Ever wonder what happened between the end of the Jedi Purge (Episode III) and the beginning of the Galactic Rebellion (Episode IV)? Let’s just say that times were tough for out-of-work Sith Lords:
Aug032006
Star Wars
Aug032006
The Worst Boss in the Universe
I don’t know that this next video clip qualifies as a fan film, since it’s composed of clips from an actual Star Wars movie rather than footage that someone shot in their back yard, but it’s a clever and funny editing job. The title is “Darth Vader being a smartass,” and that sums it up better than anything I can say:
Aug032006
The Other Vader
I’d dare say that there are hundreds of Star Wars fan films out there on the ‘net. I’d further dare say that most of them are pretty lame, amateurish attempts at parody that fall flatter than Wile E. Coyote’s face after he gets mooshed between a flying boulder and a cliff wall. But once in a while, you encounter one that is so inspired and genuinely funny that it becomes legend among the fan community. Kevin Rubio’s Troops, the first major Star Wars fan film, is one of those. So is Pink Five, the story of one of the lesser-known X-wing pilots who flew in the attack in against the first Death Star. And now I’ve found the latest “instant classic”: Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager. It’s the tale of Darth’s younger, less successful brother, who struggles to maintain order in the grocery store for his master, Randy, in spite of insubordinate checkers and his rival on the night shift. Two episodes appear after the break:
Jun012006
How It Ought to Be Done
The bad news came down a couple weeks ago, but I was too disheartened — and too distracted by other topics — to comment at the time. It seems that my buddy Cheno’s hunch was correct: the upcoming Star Wars DVDs will present the original theatrical versions of those landmark films in non-anamorphic letterboxed transfers based on 13-year-old masters that were originally prepared for the old analog-laserdisc releases. What that means, for those of you who aren’t home-theater savvy, is that the video quality on the unf***ed-with editions will be better than your old VHS tapes, and it will probably be better than the bootleg DVDs that are floating around the ‘net (which are all copies of the laserdiscs made with home-brew equipment), but it won’t be up to the standards of even an average DVD release. You see, nearly all the DVDs sold these days are “anamorphically enhanced,” which basically means they’ve been processed to look good on high-definition TVs. Without anamorphic enhancement, the theatrical versions will look pretty good but not outstandingly good on a regular TV, and lord only knows what my fancy new HDTV will make of them. Anamorphic enhancement isn’t anything new or special; every major-studio DVD movie release of the last few years has got it. As many disgruntled SW fans have pointed out, the upcoming release of George Lucas’ mid-90s flop Radioland Murders will have it. But not the 1977 movie that literally changed how Hollywood does business.
May042006
Un-F**ked With Edition Getting Dissed Again?
Hmm. Only hours after hearing the news about the original, unaltered Star Wars movies being released, my buzz is crumbling because of all the rumors flying around the ‘net about them. Basically, folks are suggesting that my long-awaited grail is going to turn out to be a half-hearted effort at best. According to a USA Today article, “the original films’ video quality will not match up to that of the restored versions.” The article quotes a Lucasfilm employee as saying, “It is state of the art, as of 1993, and that’s not as good as state of the art 2006.”
May042006
Star Wars: The Un-F**ked-With Edition on DVD!
Stupendously big news has come down from the Holy Sepulchre of The Great Flanneled One:
In response to overwhelming demand, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release attractively priced individual two-disc releases of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Each release includes the 2004 digitally remastered version of the movie and, as bonus material, the theatrical edition of the film. That means you’ll be able to enjoy Star Wars as it first appeared in 1977, Empire in 1980, and Jedi in 1983. [Emphasis mine.]
Uncle George is taking a page from The Disney Book of Dirty Tricks and General Corporate Evil and will be offering these discs for a limited time only — September 12 to December 31 — but I can live with that. Yes, it’s manipulative and no doubt designed to maximize sales by threatening us with an artificial scarcity, but who really cares if it means that Han shoots first, as he should? I know what I’ll be wanting for my birthday. Hell, I’ll probably buy two copies in addition to asking for the birthday gifts, just to have the spares on hand.
The complete press release is here. I don’t know about you, but my day has suddenly gotten drastically brighter. My morning cup of coffee even tastes better. How odd…
May032006
Let the Hostilities Commence
It has been the subject of countless geeky dorm-room debates: which would win in an all-out slug-fest for supremacy, an Imperial Star Destroyer or the Starship Enterprise?
The partisans for each of the two pre-eminent science-fiction franchises have been relentless in battles almost as fierce as the most famous space-combat scene never filmed; their fights have spanned Internet message boards and video arcades and parents’ basements. At stake: nothing less than the honor and glory of their preferred fictional universes.
But now, some brave soul with some video-editing software and a lot of free time has decided to settle the fight once and for all. Well, sort of, since this version ends in an inconclusive draw:
Apr202006
What’s Missing?
Are you suffering from a vague sense of aimlessness? A feeling that you ought to be gearing up for something big and exciting, but you can’t think of what it might be? Wondering why it seems like there’s something different about this spring than other recent years? Maybe these cartoons will help you figure out the problem:
Ah, the memories…
[Ed. note: FYI and for the sake of doing it all semi-properly, those strips are from Mark Tatulli’s Heart of the City.]
Feb162006
William Hootkins, Too?
Ah, man, it just keeps getting worse. I was following some links related to Phil Brown’s death and stumbled across a little blurb that mentioned that William Hootkins — a.k.a. Red Six, a.k.a. Porkins, a.k.a., “the fat X-wing pilot” in the original Star Wars — died way back in October of last year. Another cancer victim, he was 58. At this point, I’m wondering how many cast members from the original trilogy are gone. I know Shelagh Fraser (Aunt Beru) passed on awhile ago, and of course Peter Cushing (Grand Moff Tarkin) and Sir Alec Guiness (the original Obi-Wan, a.k.a. “Old Ben,” Kenobi) have both been gone for several years. I may have to do some research on this subject…
Feb162006
Phil Brown
Oh, man, the news about Andreas Katsulas was sad, but this is downright depressing: Phil Brown, the actor who played Luke Skywalker’s Uncle Owen, has also died. He was 89.