I’m way behind the curve in linking to that website that parodies corporate motivational posters with Star Trek-inspired messages — I think Boing Boing covered this item two weeks ago — but I wouldn’t be a good Trekkie if I didn’t share my favorite with y’all anyway, so here you go:
It has been the subject of countless geeky dorm-room debates: which would win in an all-out slug-fest for supremacy, an Imperial Star Destroyer or the Starship Enterprise?
The partisans for each of the two pre-eminent science-fiction franchises have been relentless in battles almost as fierce as the most famous space-combat scene never filmed; their fights have spanned Internet message boards and video arcades and parents’ basements. At stake: nothing less than the honor and glory of their preferred fictional universes.
But now, some brave soul with some video-editing software and a lot of free time has decided to settle the fight once and for all. Well, sort of, since this version ends in an inconclusive draw:
I’ve run across something that I think makes for an interesting addendum to the Brokeback Mountain controversy, namely some comments from the author David Gerrold about last fall’s revelation that Star Trek‘s George Takei is gay.
Gerrold, in case the name doesn’t ring a bell, is an accomplished science-fiction author and television screenwriter with a number of novels to his name. Despite his lengthy career, however, he’s most likely always going to be known as the man who wrote “The Trouble with Tribbles,” the one episode of the original Star Trek series that non-Trekkies most frequently seem to be familiar with. Given the “Tribbles” connection, it shouldn’t surprise you to learn that he’s been friends with Mr. Takei — and fully aware of George’s sexuality — for years. He also has strong feelings on the question of how visible homosexuals ought to be in our society (which is really what Larry Miller’s decision on Brokeback — as well as a certain political fight heating up in Utah’s legislature — is all about, the visibility of gay people and their relationships). Here’s Gerrold:
Like I said yesterday, I’ve got a whole mess of topics I’ve wanted to write about but haven’t gotten around to because of various distractions (like work — curse the necessity of having a job, anyhow!) Unfortunately, some of these things are pretty old news by now.
For instance, you’ve probably already heard that George Takei, the actor who played Sulu on the original Star Trek, is gay. I don’t have much to say about that, except that it certainly does explain a few things.
The off-beat Web site of off-beat publisher McSweeney’s — which produces anthologies of short fiction with titles like Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Some Other Things — today posts up a very funny list of Klingon fairy tales, i.e., familiar fairy-tale titles given a perverse twist. I don’t think you have to be a Trek fan to enjoy these, so long as you understand the basic characterization of Klingons. (Hint: their entire culture is based on combat and personal honor. And personal honor that is obtained through combat. And combat over matters of personal honor. And… well, you get the idea.)
Here are my favorites:
“Snow White and the Six Dwarves She Killed With Her Bare Hands and the Seventh Dwarf She Let Get Away as a Warning to Others”
“The Three Little Pigs Build an Improvised Explosive Device and Deal With That Damned Wolf Once and for All”
“Old Mother Hubbard, Lacking the Means to Support Herself With Honor, Sets Her Disruptor on Self-Destruct and Waits for the Inevitable”
Go check out the rest… Qapla’!
Jimmy Doohan died this morning at the age of 85. It’s hardly a shock — he’s been suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease and made his final public appearance slightly under a year ago — but it still hurts. My beloved Scotty has beamed off to whatever adventure awaits us all beyond this life, and another piece of my childhood is gone. I’m fighting back tears as I type this at an all-too-public computer.
As I’ve said before, I was never a fan of Enterprise, the fifth and most-likely final televised incarnation of the venerable Star Trek media franchise. I didn’t hate it. It just wasn’t my cup of “tea, earl grey, hot.” I watched three or four episodes when it premiered, saw that it looked like more of the tired old same, and decided to spend my valuable TV-viewing time on other things. A couple of friends who stuck with it say I really missed out on something good, that the show picked up in subsequent years and that, as an old-school Trekkie, I would’ve liked the homage-heavy final season. Maybe they’re right. But I’ll never know, because I couldn’t break through my indifference long enough to give the show a second chance.
Nevertheless, I was somewhat curious about the series finale that aired last Friday. Not curious enough to watch it, apparently, because I forgot it was on, but I have wanted to know how the Trek franchise was going to end after so many years. (Yes, I do believe it’s over, regardless of what the misguided optimists say about a new Star Trek series debuting after a “rest period.” It’s a beautiful dream, you crazy kids, god love ya. If it happens, I owe all of you a Coke.) Luckily, there’s plenty of commentary about the finale floating around the blogosphere today, so I’ve been able to get a pretty good sense of how it all went down, both pro and con.
Next week’s TV Guide landed in my mailbox this morning and with it came the final results of that poll I mentioned awhile back, the one about various favorite and non-favorite aspects of the Star Trek franchise. As a public service for any of my readers who may care but don’t have their own subscriptions to TVG, I will now post what America — or at least the minority of it that votes in Internet polls — had to say about these oh-so-important issues.
Here’s some news that’s somewhat related to my previous post: TV Guide is conducting an on-line poll of the favorite (and least-favorite) Star Trek characters. The results will be announced in an April issue of the magazine, to coincide with the final episode of Enterprise and the likely end of “The Franchise.”
So how, you may ask, does this relate to the previous post? Well, for many years now Wil Wheaton has borne the burden of having played Wesley Crusher, one of the least-liked regular characters in all of Trek history. I’m not a big Wesley fan myself, but if you read Wil’s blog (or his highly entertaining memoir, Just a Geek), you’ll soon discover just how vile supposedly grown-up human beings can be. Wil has taken a lot of crap over the years because of Wesley, including death threats and fanboy wishes for his character — and by extension, himself — to get gang-raped by Klingons. Isn’t that a lovely image? Wil doesn’t find such things amusing, and I don’t blame him. After all, it’s not his fault the character was such a putz. He was just an eager-to-please teenage actor saying the clunky lines that adults were putting in his mouth. He quite rightly views the “Most Annoying Character” title as an albatross around his neck, and he’s asked all his loyal readers to please take the poll and make sure that someone — anyone! — other than Wesley/himself gets the title. I’m going to pass that request along to my readers here on Simple Tricks. Even if you don’t like Star Trek, or even if you do and you despise Wesley Crusher with the furious heat of a million white-hot suns, try to imagine what it would be like to have pimply-faced strangers telling you day after day how much they hate you because of a job you did fifteen years ago. Does it feel like a raw deal to you? Me, too. That’s why I’m asking you to go vote for some other character in that category.
(Incidentally, I don’t think it’s hypocritical for me to ask some actor to take on the burden of “Most Annoying,” in order to spare another actor’s feelings. For one thing, Wil Wheaton, by dint of having been on the second-to-oldest Trek series, has been on the receiving end longer than anyone else. He’s done his time and is ready for parole. Secondly, he was just a kid when the crap-rain started falling whereas the other actors up for the title are grown-ups and thus should be a little better equipped to handle it. Thirdly, the dislike of Wesley has been unnaturally violent within fanboy circles, and an “official” poll naming someone else would go a long way toward lancing this festering boil. And lastly, I’m just plain sick of hearing everyone excoriate this character when there are plenty of others who sucked every bit as hard as Wesley. It’s gotten boring, and it’s time to hear a new tune. The same goes for you haters of Jar-Jar Binks, too!)
If you’d like a preview of the poll questions or if you’re interested in how I voted, keep reading below the fold. Otherwise, just go forth and vote!
[Sunday Night Update: I’ve changed the title of this entry and pulled up some text from “below the fold” — i.e., the dividing line between what you see here on the page and the “Read More” section — because I realized that this entry really isn’t so much about finding a new blogger as it is about my reaction to him, and my three loyal readers might not have been getting that point. Or maybe they were and didn’t care. Whatever. The point is, I made a couple of changes…]
I’ve run across something that may interest fans of the TV series Lost: the show’s supervising producer, Javier Grillo-Marxuach, maintains his very own LiveJournal. You won’t find much in the way of insider info or spoilers on upcoming episodes — he doesn’t seem to write about the show at all, at least not in the half-dozen entries I’ve skimmed — but he is an articulate fellow with some interesting opinions.
I’m actually rather envious of his abilities. Take his entry on the demise of Star Trek, in which he says pretty much the same things I did, but with a bit more flair and precision than I think I managed to summon. For example, I loved his description of the depressing opening night for the final Trek film, Nemesis, when “manns chinese theater theater [was] only half-full with the last remaining faithful who, like brezhnev-era muscovites, dragged themselves out into the cold to vote in yet another meaningless election.”