General Ramblings

Midnight in the Arrivals Terminal

Friday afternoon, I got a phone call from the wife of my old friend Keith — now living on the east coast — who had to fly into Salt Lake on very short notice to attend to some important family business. She wondered if he could impose on me to pick him up from the airport? Sure, I said, no problem. She apologized that it was so last-minute, and that Keith’s plane was arriving so late. Again, I said, no problem… I tend to be a night owl anyway, and I actually like going to the airport. It lets me people watch and fantasize about going somewhere myself.

Well, his plane got delayed — he texted me from Chicago, with another apology, to which I replied with another “no problem” — so by the time he finally arrived in SLC, it was very late indeed. Just in case you’ve never been in an airport past 10 PM, let me tell you… things get kinda weird. People tend to let their hair down a bit more than they might when broad daylight is streaming through the skylights above.

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A Marker for Julie

A couple streets over from my office, near the southeast corner of a city block that’s come to be known in recent years as Library Square, there stands a small, makeshift memorial. You know the sort of thing I’m talking about, a pair of wood scraps fastened together to form a cross, then draped in flowers and colorful plastic beads. Crosses like this are all over the place if you pay attention, alongside streets and roads and highways, marking places where somebody’s loved one met their destiny while behind the wheel of a car, and often at the hands of another driver. The one at Library Square is at the spot where my coworker Julie Ann Jorgenson’s car came to rest after it was slammed from behind by a speeding truck a few months ago.

I didn’t know this marker was there until just a couple days ago. My father drove past it at some point and asked me if it could be related to my “friend from work.” He didn’t finish the rest of that thought, “the one who got killed.” He didn’t have to. I knew immediately who he meant, and figured that yes, the marker was probably for her.

Yesterday afternoon, I took a little stroll during my free time. I didn’t plan on going to Library Square, but somehow that’s where I ended up, kneeling before this tiny structure underneath a gorgeous blue sky. I gently rubbed the petal of a bloom as I read Julie’s name, painted in light blue letters along the cross-bar. I don’t know what I expected to feel… a resurgence of the surprisingly intense grief I experienced when I first heard the news, or a sense of relief, or maybe some sense of Julie herself, a lingering whiff of her spirit… something. But the truth is, I didn’t really feel anything. I wondered who had placed the marker here, and how long the city will allow it to remain. I took a guess at who is changing out the wilted flowers for fresh ones. And I shook my head for the hundredth time at the vast, stupid, cosmic waste. But I didn’t feel anything. It bothers me.

In a related note, I had a Google alert waiting when I got home last night, notifying me that Julie’s killer, Shane Roy Gillette, is scheduled for a hearing to determine his mental competency. So this is going to be his defense? Incompetency? He was pretty damn incompetent the morning he killed a vibrant young woman, wasn’t he?

And so it goes, as Vonnegut wisely observed…

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I Didn’t Need to Be Thinking About This Today

Jaquandor, who I believe is actually a bit younger than myself, said the following in passing earlier today:

Scary thought: E.T. is older now than Casablanca was when I was born.

Thinking to myself, “nah, that can’t be right,” I did a little googling followed by a little calculating, and indeed, it is so. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial was released in 1982, 29 years ago this summer, whereas in the year I was born, 1969, the Bogart-Bergman classic — released in 1942 — was a mere 27 years old.

I’ve had a lot of similar thoughts lately, comparing the now-current ages of my own life’s pop-cultural landmarks to things that I thought of as “old” when I was a kid. Star Wars is now as old — 34 years — as Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman was in the year Star Wars came out. Miami Vice is now as old — more or less — as Dragnet (the TV version; the radio serial was even older) was when Vice premiered. Christopher Reeve’s Superman: The Movie is currently seven years older than George Reeves’ Adventures of Superman TV series was when “modern” special effects first made me believe a man could fly. Most sobering of all is that movies that screened during my career as a multiplex usher and later projectionist — which really does feel like yesterday to me — are now as ancient (and probably as dated in appearance and subject matter) as Easy Rider was when I started at Movies 7.

Of course, the peculiar thing about me is that I always liked old movies and TV. It’s never made much difference to me if something was in black-and-white or if its cast had strange haircuts and clothes. I wonder if there are any kids of the current generation who feel the same? Probably not… they’re all too spoiled by photorealistic CGI and the spastic-rabbit style of editing to tolerate older films.

I don’t really have a point here, I guess, except to note how strange it feels when I realize that things I still like, that still matter to me, that still feel relatively recent to me, are, well, old. Not just out of fashion or no longer current but downright old. Strange… and depressing. And it’s happening more and more often, too…

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Won’t Somebody Think of the Children?!

Not much to say here, this just made me smile:

I don’t know the provenance of this video, although it sounds like one of the teachers is speaking in an Australian accent at one point, but the puppeteer and his get-up are reminiscent of the Walking with Dinosaurs show I saw a few years ago, in which astoundingly lifelike dinosaurs roamed around Energy Solutions Arena for 90 minutes and made me briefly forget that I was a grown-up man living in 21st-century Salt Lake City. Instead, I became a wide-eyed seven-year-old magically transported to the Cretaceous Era. Incredibly cool… I can only imagine the impact this classroom visit must’ve made on these kids. Sometimes the future is all right after all. We certainly didn’t have velociraptors dropping by Riverton Elementary when I was a kid!

Via Boing Boing, of course.
 

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Just Another Day at the Compound

The fabulous Bennion Compound holds many secret treasures.

Moments ago, while walking through the section that encompasses my father’s junkyard, The Girlfriend suddenly halted, took a couple of steps backward, and then asked, “Is that a flamethrower over there?”

I took a look at the object in question and confirmed that, yes, it is indeed a flamethrower. Well, of a sort. It doesn’t actually project a stream of burning gasoline — which would be way-cool, by the way — but it is a long wand-like gadget designed to produce flame at the tip. Dad cobbled it together a number of years ago when he needed to thaw something out in the dead of winter. I forget what.

Anne shook her head and said, “You know, when your parents die, we’ll have to figure out what to do with all this shit.”

I replied, “Yes, and then the flamethrower will be ours.”

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George Takei: We Are All Japanese

Presented without comment; it speaks for itself:

[Okay, I can’t refrain from making one comment: the background music is both overly saccharine and mixed a little too loudly, causing it to compete with Takei’s voiceover in a couple of places. And nothing irritates me more than competing audio tracks or songs, which is a big part of why I don’t enjoy many musicals — I can’t handle the thing where two people sing different songs simultaneously. But hey, this video still carries a good message…]

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AutoRama: How Far We’ve Come

During my glorious teenage years back in the Awesome ’80s, the annual AutoRama car show was a must-attend event for every red-blooded young male in the valley. No, not because of the cars, although they were neat enough — seeing ZZ Top’s Eliminator hot rod in the flesh, er, steel was a real treat, for example — but because the show afforded the opportunity to bask in the presence of honest-to-glory Playboy Playmates. Yes, for only the price of admission plus a small additional autograph fee, any pimple-faced, scrubby-mustached, mullet-wearing doofus could have the honor of standing in a line that sometimes stretched back for a couple of hours, all to experience less than 30 seconds of facetime with a paragon of feminine pulchritude you couldn’t actually go out with in a million years. Oh, and you got a signed picture, too. And occasionally a Playmate who would pose for a photo with you, although the shot never seemed to turn out because your friend with the camera had shaky hands. But hey, you could at least point at the blurry, vaguely humanoid shape and tell people who it was, and remember the prickle of flopsweat blossoming under your arms as she slipped her arm across the top of your shoulders.

Yes, those were the days.

I haven’t been to an AutoRama in decades, but there’s one coming up this weekend, and just for kicks I thought I’d have a look at the schedule to see if anything — or anyone — interesting is going to be there. The results were… disappointing. No Playmates. Instead, we’ve got Jeanette McCurdy, a teenaged actress from a cable-TV kid’s show called iCarly, and a fisherman from that reality series The Deadliest Catch.

Sigh. Is there any doubt America is a society in decline?

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In Case Anyone Needs a Priest…

…I’m available.

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Weddings, mitzvahs, whatever, man. Of course, whatever you want will have to wait until I finish my cocktail. Why don’t you pull up a chair and have one with me? Just take it easy, man.

Dudeism. I finally found a religion I can hang with…

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Hold On for One More Day

I was flipping through CDs at the library the other night, about to give up on finding anything I actually recognized — I am so out of touch with current music, and by current I mean “released in the last 15 years” — when a familiar cover caught my eye. It was the self-titled debut album by Wilson Phillips, an all-girl singing trio consisting of Beach Boy Brian Wilson’s two daughters and their childhood friend, the daughter of John and Michelle Phillips from The Mamas and the Papas. You may remember their monster hit from the summer of 1990, “Hold On.” I remember it very well, because, for a couple months that year, the Wilson Phillips CD played constantly over the PA system of the movie theater where I worked. The theater had only a single-disc player, and the management was too busy (or too indifferent) to bother changing out the CDs once in a while. Which meant all us poor buggers down on the floor got incredibly sick of whatever the current music was, usually in a real big hurry. I remember several of those CDs meeting with rather ignominious ends. A couple of them sailed out across the parking lot like silvery frisbees. One was dashed into pieces with a mallet, reassembled with splicing tape, and hung on the inside of a circuit-breaker panel, to serve as a warning to other sugary middle-of-the-road pop albums that might wear out their welcomes. My personal favorite, though, was the incident in which a CD just happened to find itself on the floor of the projection booth, on which somebody — I’m not saying who — had sprinkled a little of the sand we used to fill the lobby ashcans. (Yes, it was a very different world a couple decades ago, what with socially acceptable smoking and single-disc CD players.) Did you know if you do The Twist on a CD laying in a sprinkling of sand atop a linoleum floor, that CD won’t ever play right again? Sure looked pretty when the light hit it, though… all those concentric circular scratches…

Anyhow, I don’t recall that Wilson Phillips got destroyed, and as endlessly looping lobby music went, it really wasn’t bad. I retained enough good will toward it that when I saw this copy at the library, I got all nostalgic and checked it out. I thought it might be kind of nice to hear it again.
What it was, though, was weird.

You see, aside from “Hold On” and a couple other tracks, I found I didn’t remember any of the music on this album. None of it. At all. Usually with old albums I haven’t heard in years, I only think I don’t remember the music until I actually start playing it, and then it comes back to me and I start unconsciously mouthing the words and anticipating the opening notes of the next track and such. Not with this album, though. And considering that I must’ve heard this silly thing 10 times a day, five days a week, for two months, that strikes me as very strange indeed. As I said, I don’t remember finding this music especially objectionable, but for some reason, my brain chose to self-edit this stuff right out of the permanent files. I wanted to shoot myself after a couple months of listening to Chicago’s Greatest Hits, yet I can still remember every horrific note of that self-pitying twaddle. My spin of Wilson Phillips last night, however, was like listening for the very first time.

In all seriousness, the music on this album isn’t especially memorable. It’s a blend of pleasant vocal harmonies and upbeat yet dated pop instrumentals that fairly scream out the year in which they were recorded. Like the New Agey audio wallpaper you hear in certain bookstores, it’s innocuous and kinda-sorta likable and completely disposable. It’s really no surprise that it hasn’t stayed with me over the past two decades.

However, while I didn’t remember the music itself, it seems to be an excellent trigger for memories of other things from that time. Not specific events, not even much in the way of sensory memories like I wrote about a couple months ago, but more just a general mood of the summer of 1990. The emotional ambiance, if you will.

While listening to Wilson Phillips, I remembered in shocking clarity how I felt for much of that summer. It wasn’t long after my first big love affair had gone down in atomic flames, so I felt hurt and angry, and also inadequate and deeply lonely and — I’m not too proud or prudish to admit it — really horny. I remember feeling like I was on a quest of some kind, for knowledge, for love, for a return to the way things had been the previous summer. I was drowning in uncertainty and vaguely defined yearning. And yet, I recall a sense of increasing lightness, too, like I was becoming aware that the worst of the storm had passed. I was beginning to feel something close to normal again. And I felt like had a place to be, a place where I belonged, a family of sorts… my job at the movie theater. It was just a minimum-wage joe-job, as Mike Myers would say in Wayne’s World, but it suited me in a way nothing since really has. It was the right place for me to be at that time in my life, certainly.

And I do have one sense memory, now that I think about it, a visual thing… the way the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the theater’s front windows would bounce off the tile floor in the lobby and turn the air into a sort of golden haze. That’s kind of a perfect image for a time and place I feel so much nostalgia for, wouldn’t you say?

 

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Wherein I Am Kinda-Sorta Heroic… Maybe

After several days of unseasonably warm and springlike weather, winter came back tonight, riding on the back of an avenging wind that wanted to drive the breath from your lungs and teach you a lesson for having dared to believe that you’d seen the last of him for another year.

The snow was just starting as I stepped off the evening train; I flipped up the collar of my pea coat against the wet, spattering flakes that were coming in almost horizontally from the north. The temperatures had been relatively mild when I’d boarded a half-hour and 25 miles ago, and I gasped at the abrupt change for the worse. Then the sky brightened and shimmered in a truly weird display, lightning in the belly of a snowstorm, and I knew it was going to be one hell of a night.

That was when the old man reached out for my shoulder with a trembling, knobby hand that looked to have been warped by a serious case of arthritis.

“Pardon me, sir, but are you driving somewhere from here?

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