Film Studies

Ten Cheesy Lines

My three loyal readers have probably noticed that there hasn’t been much action here on Simple Tricks over the past few weeks. Sorry, kids. Real Life dropped by for a visit and hasn’t seemed too interested in going home. I’ve been hamstrung by a million things to do in the offline world, not to mention a deep, all-consuming sense of blog-fatigue brought on by my extensive comments about the recent election season. In other words, after I finished all those rambling political dissertations, I just didn’t feel like writing for awhile.

Now, however, my Christmas shopping is mostly complete, I’m pretty much stuck indoors because the weather is miserably cold and gray, and I figure that any holiday cards I haven’t managed to send out yet probably won’t arrive before the big day anyhow, so there’s little sense in knocking myself out. Which means, since I have nothing else to distract me, that my thoughts are once again turning toward my little soap box here. Have no fear, though — I suspect you folks out there in InternetLand are as sick of reading my political opinions as I am of thinking them, so I’m going to do my best to avoid the subject for a while. For the next few weeks, nothing but pop culture and pointless nostalgia!

For our first subject in that vein, have you heard about the recently released list of the Ten Cheesiest Lines in Movie History?

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Sir Sean Retiring?

One of my all-time favorite actors is Sir Sean Connery. He appeared in four films that I never get tired of watching — Highlander, The Hunt for Red October, The Untouchables, and, of course, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade — and as far as I’m concerned he is not only the original but The One True James Bond. He’s made a lot of crap movies over the years, but I’ve always said that his mere presence in a film is enough to make it watchable. (At least, I used to say that, before I saw The Avengers. That fetid lump of parrot droppings is one the extremely tiny handful of movies so bad that even I have been tempted to walk out of them. Unfortunately, Sean also appeared in one of the other crapfests on that list, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. But surely his turn as Indiana Jones’ dad makes up for those two, right? Right?)

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Oscar Thoughts

[Ed. Note: This entry was actually written in the wee hours last night. I was unable to post at that time due to some technical difficulties. This means that even though all those other bloggers out there are saying the exact same things as myself this morning, I was, in fact, completely original at the time of writing. Hey, it’s not my fault that my brainwaves leaked out into the zeitgeist before I could post…]

For movie lovers and people in The Industry, tonight was the biggest night of the year, a celebration of imagination and glamour and all that show-biz stuff. So was it just me or did the proceedings all seem a little ho-hum this time around?

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