I’m seeing reports that Disney execs have changed the title of John Carter of Mars, the film adaptation of the Edgar Rice Burroughs pulp novels I grew up on, to — are you ready for this? — John Carter. Rumor has it they’re gunshy of the word “Mars” because their animated flick Mars Needs Moms crashed and burned so spectacularly this spring. What’s that, you don’t remember Mars Needs Moms? Yeah, well, neither does anyone else, and Disney knows it, and they apparently figure it’s because the word “Mars” was in the title. Couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that the trailers made it pretty apparent Mars Needs Moms was a shitty movie, could it? No, it has to be because audiences avoid movies that mention the planet Mars in the title. So they’ve dropped the word from the title of a movie that is about a guy roaming around a fantasy version of… the planet Mars.

Yeah, trying to downplay the movie’s premise and setting is really going to help attract audiences, isn’t it?

And it pisses me off because, as I mentioned, I loved the books on which the film is based and would like to see a good adaptation version of them, and also the movie was filmed here in Utah, so my home-team spirit has got me hoping it does well. But I have a hunch people who don’t already know what this film is about — which is probably most people, if we fanboys are being honest — are going to hear the new, shorter, and completely uninformative title and say, “What’s that about? Who the hell is John Carter?” After all, he’s not exactly a household name like Buck Rogers or Flash Gordon. And if they can’t figure out what the movie is about, they’re not real likely to want to see it, now, are they?

Good job, Disney… and for my fellow Burroughs fans out there who were excited at the prospect of a trilogy, as the movie’s producers at Pixar have proposed? I think we’d probably better stick with our tattered old paperbacks…

Last night, after the household chores were done — well, as done as they were going to get for a Monday — I threw on one of my favorite movies, Jason and the Argonauts. If you don’t know it, this is one of those great old fantasy-adventure flicks based on mythology and featuring visual effects by the master of stop-motion animation, Ray Harryhausen. I first saw it when I was very small, four or five maybe, and it made a tremendous impression on me. I’ll grant that it’s not a perfect film. The plot is pretty thin, existing mostly as a framework to get us from one to the next of Harryhausen’s set pieces. But what set pieces! Two of Harryhausen’s best-remembered and most celebrated are in this one film: the attack of the giant bronze man Talos — the grinding sound as he moves his metal body still gives me the creeps! — and a platoon of reanimated skeletons known as the Children of the Hydra. Both sequences look a little clunky these days (Talos less so than the skeletons, in my opinion, but that could be just because Talos freaked me out more as a youngling), but they are simply brilliant examples of a handcrafted and now virtually extinct artform. And they’re a helluva lot more charming than any of the photorealistic but dull CG critters we take for granted now.

Anyhow, as I was saying, Jason is a flawed movie, as much as I love it. I’ve thought for years that it had a very abrupt ending: Jason sees a couple of his companions killed by the Children of the Hydra and dives off a cliff to escape them himself, then we cut to Zeus and Hera watching all the action from Mt. Olympus, and they essentially say “Well, that was fun,” and the end credits roll. On last night’s viewing, however, I realized that not only is this ending unsatisfying, it’s also incomplete… it doesn’t conclude the story that was set up at the film’s beginning.

Jason and the Argonauts begins, as do so many fantasy films, with an evil warlord seizing a kingdom and executing the children of the king he’s overthrown, only to have one of them — Jason — escape his grasp. Jason returns 20 years later as a grown man, sworn to fulfill an ancient prophecy by killing the usurper, Pelias, and reclaiming his father’s throne. But first, in order to rally the people and restore his kingdom to its former glory, Jason embarks on a quest to find the fabled Golden Fleece, a magical gift from the gods that lies on the other side of the world. And of course he will find and win the Golden Fleece, because these sorts of heroes in these sorts of movies always do… but he never returns to deal with Pelias and take back the kingdom! Instead, as I mentioned, the movie just stops, with Jason and his newfound love Medea embracing on the boat while the gods watch with amusement. So what the hell happened to the whole motivation for the quest in first place?! Jason doesn’t abandon his pledge to retake the kingdom or anything like that. He hasn’t outgrown his thirst for vengeance. The movie just drops the matter entirely. Oh, Zeus says something to the effect of “Jason and Medea will have many adventures in the future,” which I suppose implies that he’s going to go back to Thessaly, but there is no actual resolution. In all the times I’ve watched Jason, I’ve never noticed that such a huge thread was left dangling. This film may be unique in that, too, since I can’t think of any other movie that leaves such a big plot point unresolved. Were Harryhausen and Charles Schneer, the producer of the movie, planning to do a sequel? Did they run out of time and/or money? Was the movie running long and the last 15 minutes got cut? I’m going to have to look into that question, because now that I’ve become aware of it, it’s going to bug me forever…

(By the way, if you’ve never seen this film, don’t allow my criticism to scare you away from it. It really is marvelously entertaining. It just happens to have one big flaw…)

Here’s a tip for my local readers: I’ve just learned that the Tower Theatre, Salt Lake’s local arthouse cinema, is going to continue its summer tradition of running cult-favorite movies (as well as some genuine film classics) on Friday and Saturday nights at 11 PM, with an additional screening Sundays at noon for those who can’t handle the late-nighters anymore. It’s a great-looking line-up this year, too:

If you’ve never been to a late-night screening of a beloved cult movie, you’re missing out on one of life’s great experiences. The Girlfriend and I attended a midnight showing of Labyrinth at the Tower a good 10 years or more ago, and it completely changed my opinion of that strange little movie. It’s one of Anne’s favorites, but I’d always been indifferent to it until that night; experiencing it with an engaged (and frequently interactive!) audience made all the difference, and I left the theater with a new appreciation of it. I imagine we’ll be going to that one again, and I’d also like to catch Jaws and The Road Warrior, two of my favorites that I’ve never seen on the big screen. Tickets for these screenings are cheap, only five bucks; if you’re a collector of cool and interesting stuff, I’m told that the Tower has taken a hint from the legendary Alamo Drafthouse and will be creating unique posters for each film that will be available for purchase.

There’s no website for the Summer of 35mm program, but they do have a Facebook page. Check it out, and maybe I’ll see you there!

One of the great disappointments of my life is that Redford and Newman only made two films together. Really, guys? You honestly couldn’t come up with any other good scripts?

This may only be of interest to hardcore movie geeks like myself, but I found it fascinating… it’s a two-minute (give or take) compilation of memorable movie-title sequences (and a few from television) dating from the very beginning of the medium right up to the current moment. Several of my favorites appear, including the stark art-deco block lettering of the original King Kong, the creepy burn-through effect of The Thing, Star Wars receding off into the distance, Superman swooping in from behind us, and the delightfully retro animation from Spielberg’s Catch Me If You Can. I’ll post the complete title list below the fold, if anyone is interested…

A Brief History of Title Design from Ian Albinson on Vimeo.

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A couple days ago, I had a random burst of inspiration and decided to google the movie Mother Lode, a nifty adventure flick from 1982 starring Charlton Heston and a very young Kim Basinger. I was curious to see if there were any rumors about it finally coming to DVD, even though I didn’t really expect to find any. Mother Lode is one of those perennial “missing-in-action” titles; as far as I know, it only ever had a single home-video release, on VHS cassette back in the days when nobody could afford those except video-rental stores. I’ve never understood why a well-crafted, solidly entertaining movie like this one could fall into near-total obscurity while so many truly awful B- and Z-grade schlockers get 15 different editions in each new media format that comes along. Granted, not many people have even heard of Mother Lode, but every person I meet who’s seen it thinks very highly of it. There is a following out there, even if it’s not terribly organized or vocal.
Since the Warner Archive came along, I’ve been hoping it might finally surface as a manufacture-on-demand title, so I’ve been checking every few months as the thought occurs to me. And I’ve been disappointed every time, too… until this week. To my tremendous surprise and joy, Mother Lode is scheduled for release at the end of March… and not as an MOD title, either, but as a full-fledged, regular-production (or “pressed”) DVD. I immediately pre-ordered my copy, and, as lame as it sounds, I’ve been walking on air ever since. It’s just a DVD, but it’s also the fulfillment of a very long quest to find something that didn’t seem to be attainable. It’s been a long time since I felt that kind of satisfaction that perhaps only collectors really know.

Anyhow, finding out about Mother Lode got me thinking about my other “holy grail” films, the ones that I want to own on DVD but which have remained stubbornly unavailable. I remembered that I actually blogged about them almost two years ago now, and I thought maybe I ought to revisit that list and see if the status has changed for any of the others…

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