Marketing people being what they are — which is, um, marketing people — and YouTube being what it is — which is incredibly popular and frighteningly efficient at spreading content across the whole of the InterWebs in a very short time — it was inevitable that the one would try to find a way to take advantage of the other in order to get more advertisements in front of more eyeballs. And thus was born “viral video commercials” i.e., ads that don’t look like ads or which have high entertainment value, so people will pass them around to their friends online and thus fulfill that whole marketing imperative involving ads and eyeballs.

Normally, I would find such methods insidious and distasteful — good lord, isn’t the average citizen confronted by enough marketing messages during the day? — but when one of these viral ads features the great Bruce Campbell (of whom I’ve sung praises before), well, I guess I have no choice but to bow and do my part for capitalism. Enjoy the following… oh, and pay attention to the painting behind Bruce as he walks. There’s a whole lot of sailcloth in that image…

If you haven’t yet had enough of those wacky Japanese commercials — and really, who could ever have enough Japanese commercials? — check out the Top 20 Japanese ads as compiled by High T3ch Magazine. (Actually, the compiler acknowledges that only 12 of the 20 are from Japan, but they’re all Asian, at least…) Our old buddy Sparkly Ah-nald is there, as is a very amusing appearance from the Dark Lord of the Sith and a version of Ronald McDonald that actually makes me want to eat at McCrappy’s. But the really notable clip comes in at number three; it’s a Korean ad built around making you think you’re seeing something you’re not actually seeing, but depending on your constitution (or your employer’s Internet policy), you may still find it somewhat, um, well, embarassing, if not downright offensive. It’s a fine piece of visual innuendo. Enjoy!

I’ve been obsessively investigating that bizarre commercial I posted yesterday. I just can’t get it out of my head… it’s like some kind of neural weapon, I swear, a psychological virus that’s probably going to turn me into a sparkly-eyed, maniacally laughing zombie any moment now. My co-workers should beware…

Before my painful transmogrification begins, however, I’d like to quickly note what I’ve learned. For posterity, you understand, in the hope that any future sparkly golden zombie plagues can be avoided. My research indicates that the future Governator was shilling for some kind of Japanese energy drink in this clip, a substance called Arinamin V, which is like a turbo-charged version of Red Bull or something. According to a Japanese blogger named Joi Ito, this is what’s going on in the ad:

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Arinamin V’s commercial. He is playing mah-jong with important guests. He does a huge faux paux by winning the round when he should have let the guests win. His boss scolds him. Then he sneaks off to a corner, drinks the special drink while the customer is telling his boss the deal is off. Suddenly, as the drink takes effect, Arnold is transformed into a glittering entertainer and the guest is showered with mah-jong score counting stick and everyone is shouting and cheering.

It’s pretty common knowledge that American celebrities who wouldn’t stoop to doing TV ads here in the States frequently go to Japan and collect big paychecks for a day’s work and a little video endorsement there. (You may recall that the wonderfully moody film Lost in Translation used this conceit as a premise to drop Bill Murray down in the middle of Tokyo.) I suppose the stars in question figure that no one will ever see commercials made for a market half a world away, so there’s no risk for their professional dignity. Poor, foolish actors… obviously they never counted on the power of the InterWebs! These days, it’s ridiculously easy to find commercials that actors like Ah-nald probably wish would stay hidden. There’s an entire site dedicated to them, Japander.com (although everytime I visit Japander, it seems to crash my Firefox browser, so be cautious if you click that link). And of course, there’s YouTube, the biggest repository for pop-cultural detritus ever invented. I’ve used YouTube to to dig up several more Japanese TV commercials starring two of my favorite actors. I present them to you now, for your Wednesday viewing pleasure:

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I don’t speak Japanese and about all I know of that ancient culture is what I’ve picked up from Godzilla movies, but I can’t imagine this commercial would be any less terrifying to the average Japanese consumer than it is for this gaijin:

I’ll probably be seeing golden sparkly stuff in my dreams for weeks… arg!

(For the record, I spotted this little wonder of weirdness this morning over at The Bleat.)

I don’t know what frightens me more: the fact that the Internet has finally revealed its true purpose as the repository of all the pop-cultural detritus of the last 50 years; the fact that I love the first fact so damn much; or the fact that I get all warm and nostalgic over a TV commercial that I must’ve seen 52,432 times during my childhood:

Incidentally, the wikipedia says that “‘Corinthian leather’ was a meaningless term invented for the [ad campaign], but has since come to designate leather with a vinyl surface treatment that requires little care.” Just in case you were wondering. And even if you weren’t, I just had to throw it out there, because Ricardo Montalban rocks…