Archives

In Memoriam: Dom DeLuise

Dom DeLuise in History of the World, Part 1

It’s probably very bad form to mention this under these circumstances, but I have to be honest: it’s been years since I thought Dom DeLuise — who passed away last week at the age of 75 — was funny. I used to, a long time ago. But somewhere along the line, I guess I just sort of got tired of his brand of bumbling silliness. Probably around the time he was making all those tedious and painfully self-indulgent movies with Burt Reynolds and Hal Needham. Just thinking about his “Captain Chaos” character in The Cannonball Run is enough to make wince. Ugh.

But as I said, there was a time when I thought he was very funny indeed, and that was in the early ’80s when he was one of the few comedic actors who could actually make my dad laugh. Dad’s always been a tough nut to crack when it comes to comedy; it’s not that he has no sense of humor at all, it’s just very, very hard to push his humor buttons. The one thing that seems capable of doing it with any consistency is a good fart joke. A good fart joke — and good ones are surprisingly rare, actually — can reduce my father to helpless, tearful gasping on the floor.

Dom DeLuise gets off a good fart joke — as well as a belch joke and a number of other gags based on general slovenliness — in Mel Brooks’ History of the World, Part I, where he played a flatulent, venal, gluttonous, horny, petulant, and incredibly bored Roman Emperor. I knew it was a good joke because Dad insisted on rewinding the film — this wasn’t too long after we discovered the wonders of home video — about a dozen times, until he was, as I described, helpless and gasping on the living room floor with tears rolling down his cheeks. I suspect we probably wore out that particular groove of the RCA videodisc we’d rented from Sharon’s TV and Appliance down the street. Mom and I had stopped laughing on about the fifth viewing, but Dad was having so much fun it seemed churlish to tell him to let the damn thing resume playing.

Looking around the ‘net, I’ve seen many stories about what a nice guy Dom was, and I’m pleased to hear that. He was apparently loved by everyone who was fortunate enough to meet him, and you can’t ask much more of a life than that. Even though I personally outgrew his schtick, I always liked him, and I cherish the memory he gave me of my dad, clicking that rewind button over and over and over, and laughing just as uproariously at Dom breaking wind and scratching himself with the imperial scepter every single time. Thanks for that, Dom…

spacer

Amazing What Regular Folks Can Do These Days…

Here’s a nifty little video I spotted over at RetroThing:

As the source blog notes:

We live in miraculous times. When Star Trek was on the air, creating the transporter effect was time consuming and expensive. These days on YouTube a guy not only beams himself into some classic Trek footage, he brings along his Theremin and does a really nice rendition of the classic theme.

I’m sure my loyal readers are wondering, so yes, I have seen the J.J. Abrams reboot movie that opened this weekend. I’m still thinking about my reaction to it. I can say that I generally enjoyed it more than I expected to, but there are many aspects of it I have problems with, not least of which is why it had to be done at all. But then, I am something of a curmudgeon on these matters. Casual fans, non-Trekkies, and The Damn Kids are going to like it just fine, I suspect. More on this subject at another time…

spacer

A Little Note on Courage

I mentioned in the previous entry that I don’t think modern Americans have the same self-image of nobility that previous generations did. According to David Kurtz over at Talking Points Memo, we don’t have as much courage, either. Here are some numbers for you to consider the next time you see one of those over-the-top political attack ads trying to convince you there is no alternative to maintaining our own American gulag at Guantanamo:

Number of Gitmo detainees that the GOP hopes to keep off mainland U.S. soil with its “Keep Terrorists Out Of America Act”: roughly 250.

 

Number of Axis POWs detained in camps on the U.S. mainland at the end of WWII: roughly 425,000.

Axis POWs. That would be Nazi and Japanese soldiers captured abroad and shipped here, to our soil, to sit out the war inside American borders. Well-trained, fully indoctrinated fascists who would’ve loved to slit American throats for their Fuhrer and their Emperor. And yet we managed to keep them locked up, didn’t we?

I’ve got a prison only a couple miles from my house, and I’m sure it’s full of serial killers, gangsters, rapists, murderers, white supremacists, and paranoid militia types, but I’ve never lost one wink of sleep because of it. So why is the thought of 250 suspected terrorists — suspected, mind you, still not proven in many cases — locked down inside a mainland military prison or even a civilian Supermax facility so scary? We’ve already got terrorists locked up in our mainland prisons. The Blind Shiek and Timothy McVeigh come immediately to mind. (Okay, McVeigh is dead, but you see my point.)

Al Qaeda is not composed of immortal, superpowered, super-intelligent boogeymen, and behaving as if it is only gives them power over us. I, for one, am sick of being scared, or, more accurately, of politicians and talk-radio personalities telling me I ought to be. Gitmo is a PR disaster and must be closed if America is to regain the moral high ground in our struggles. If you’re that worried about the Gitmo detainees causing trouble, just turn them out with the regular prison population. I’m sure all those gangsters and militia types I mentioned earlier will be happy to keep an eye on them for us…

spacer

The Whole Point of Civilization

Of all the objectionable things that emerged from the presidency of George W. Bush — and it’s a long list, in my opinion — nothing has troubled me more than the issue of torture.

I’m troubled by the fact that it happened at all, of course, that our military and civilian intelligence people drowned and abused and tormented prisoners until (in some cases) they literally lost their minds. But what really disturbs me about this whole thing is how few of my fellow Americans seem to care.

Even now, when it has become blindingly apparent that the torturers were not soldiers who lost control in the heat of battle but were actually acting on orders from the White House itself, when it’s been revealed that the White House had a cadre of lawyers — including, I’m sad to say, a number of guys with connections to my home state — writing memos and briefs to justify decisions the administration knew were legally questionable, even after all that, there are still people who would defend the Bush “interrogation” policies. The news media still can’t bring itself to use the word “torture” on any kind of regular basis, preferring instead Orwellian weasel words that were coined by the freaking Nazis. And many pundits are brazenly parsing whether certain techniques constitute actual torture or merely “harsh treatment.” (Here’s a clue: if we would call it torture when it’s done to one of our people, then it’s freakin’ torture, people!) Hell, some people are trying dodge the legal and moral questions altogether and debate only whether waterboarding actually works, as if efficacy is the only consideration when it comes to this stuff.

You know what, though? It doesn’t matter if it works, not in my book. Because it’s wrong. Because we’re supposed to be better people than those who would destroy us. We used to believe we were. But that appears to have changed in recent years.

I like to think — to hope — that this apparent shift is due merely to ignorance, that people simply don’t realize the techniques used in Abu Ghraib and CIA “black sites” were effectively ripped off from the Soviets and the communist Chinese. (I don’t know about you, but I find it immensely unsettling to think our people have done the same things we used to condemn the KGB for.) But honestly, I’m not so sure. In my more cynical moments, I find myself thinking, sadly, that a lot of people out there are perfectly okay with subjecting other people to horrendous inhumanities because they think torturing people somehow avenges 9/11, or because they’re racist, or maybe because they’d rather feel “safe” than accept the risk and effort of living up to our nation’s ideals. Well, maybe those people do feel safer knowing that we’re beating the hell out of people with Arabic-sounding names. Not me, though. Because I worry about what it does to us, to our very souls.

Kevin Drum said essentially the same thing last week, and his words have been echoing in my mind ever since:

 

I don’t care about the Geneva Conventions or U.S. law. I don’t care about the difference between torture and “harsh treatment.” I don’t care about the difference between uniformed combatants and terrorists. I don’t care whether it “works.” I oppose torture regardless of the current state of the law; I oppose even moderate abuse of helpless detainees; I oppose abuse of criminal suspects and religious heretics as much as I oppose it during wartime; and I oppose it even if it produces useful information.

 

The whole point of civilization is as much moral advancement as it is physical and technological advancement. But that moral progress comes slowly and very, very tenuously. In the United States alone, it took centuries to decide that slavery was evil, that children shouldn’t be allowed to work 12-hour days on power looms, and that police shouldn’t be allowed to beat confessions out of suspects.

 

On other things there’s no consensus yet. Like it or not, we still make war, and so does the rest of the world. But at least until recently, there was a consensus that torture is wrong. Full stop. It was the practice of tyrants and barbarians. But like all moral progress, the consensus on torture is tenuous, and the only way to hold on to it — the only way to expand it — is by insisting absolutely and without exception that we not allow ourselves to backslide. Human nature being what it is — savage, vengeful, and tribal — the temptations are just too great. Small exceptions will inevitably grow into big ones, big ones into routine ones, and the progress of centuries is undone in an eyeblink.

The eye is in the midst of blinking, people. What will we see when the lid rises again?

spacer
spacer

If You’ll Just Get on Board…

My friend Karen points us today to a strange little website based on the following premise: “If we started a movie on the day you were born, and stretched it over your lifespan, this is where you’d be in that movie.”

You enter your birthdate and how long you expect to live, select your favorite movie from a list of well-known options, and the site will show you which scene in the film corresponds to the current moment of your life. My three loyal readers can, of course, guess which film I chose… it seems I’m right at the point where Han Solo is ushering his nervous passengers toward their ticket off Tatooine.

On the positive side, the really fun part of the movie is still ahead. Hopefully that says something about my life…

spacer

A Couple of Hollywood Auctions

Via Evanier, I see that the final bits and pieces of the late Forrest J. Ackerman’s collection of movie memorabilia have gone under the auctioneer’s gavel. I’ve written before about Forry’s legendary collection, how it was reputed to be the world’s largest and how he would generously show it off to anyone who came calling on a Saturday afternoon, how plans to base a museum around it never seemed to come together and how in recent years he was forced to sell off the bulk of it to pay for his mounting medical expenses. I understand that the items that remained were his most cherished ones, the ones he couldn’t part with while he was alive, including Bela Lugosi’s Dracula ring, which Ackerman personally wore every day, and a replica of the Robotrix — a clear ancestor of C-3PO — from the silent classic Metropolis.

This news makes me deeply sad. To think that a man spends his entire life gathering around himself the things he loves only to have them scattered to the four winds upon his death… well, it all seems like rather an exercise in futility, doesn’t it? I suppose you could see it as these items returning to circulation now that Forry’s no longer using them, and hope that they’ve all gone to good homes with owners who love and appreciate them the way he did. Forry himself might have even wanted it that way. But I still have a problem wrapping my head around the way a person’s hobbies and interests just… evaporate. If your collection ends up being broken apart anyway, if the people you leave behind have no interest in saving it and loving it as you did, why collect it in the first place?

spacer

WTF?

Good lord… I’m offline for a few days and Bea Arthur dies, the news media does its best to convince everyone that Captain Trips has broken out and we’re all doomed, some bonehead decides it’d be really cool to photograph Air Force One over New York City without bothering to tell everyone not to panic when they see a low-flying jumbo jet being pursued by an F-16, and Arlen Specter switches parties.

You know, sometimes it’s a good thing to be uninformed about what’s going on in the world…

(Incidentally, my weekend road trip was grand. There was naturally a huge backlog waiting for me at the office this morning, but I’ll try to find the time to jot down some travel stories in the next little while…)

spacer

Get Excited

Just to give my loyal readers a taste of how entertaining a Rick concert really is, here’s a recent performance of one of his playlist standards, “I Get Excited,” including his regular schtick of inviting a bunch of female admirers on stage and getting up close and personal with one lucky lady in particular:

I’ve seen him do this same routine six or seven times now, and it still cracks me up. And incidentally, despite how this looks, there are plenty of male Rick Springfield fans, too…

See you all next week!

spacer

Stolen Balloons

Here in the clean light of a new morning, I realized the previous entry makes it appear that I’m in a really bad mental space. Well, I was for a couple of days, but let me assure any concerned loyal readers out there that I’m all right. I started recovering as soon as it became apparent the insurance companies weren’t going to give me any hassles, and I mostly unclenched once the car went into the shop and it felt like some progress was being made. I’m still unhappy the accident happened at all, of course, and that my formerly “like-new” car isn’t so much anymore. I get very attached to my things and I have a really hard time when something happens to them. But the worst of my emotional storm has passed. I just got wound up as I writing last night.

As I mentioned, the wreck was basically the final cue for a major case of the blues that’s been lurking in the wings for a while. A lot of shit has been getting under my skin lately: anxiety over my job and how secure it may or may not be, irritation with all the hysterical political nonsense that’s been going around (honestly, right-wing gun-lovers, no one is coming to take your Preciouses away, not even those nasty hobbitses, er, Democrats), disgust at the growing plague of panhandlers and scummy-looking kids that hang around the train platform near my office (I’ve got a lot of sympathy for the homeless, but enough is freakin’ enough, people!). Disgust with a lot of things, really… the reinvigorated culture wars, willful ignorance and intractable bigotry, ubiquitous marketing, almost-as-ubiquitous graffiti, the lack of consideration people have for their fellow citizens, traffic, road construction that makes traffic worse, the fact that I can no longer find a radio station I really, honestly like, and a host of other complaints both large and small. I’ve been tired and cranky and fed up and feeling like everything went really wrong somewhere. I’ve been feeling, in fact, something like this:

Fortunately, I’m about to get my moment alone, and I don’t even have to shoot anyone, no matter how tempting that might be. Well, alone plus one. The Girlfriend and I are setting off on a little road trip tomorrow, an exploration of southern Utah with a stop in Zion National Park, a detour to Vegas to check in with some friends we’ve not seen in a while, and finally, an outdoor concert starring my main man, Rick Springfield. Yes, I am a dork. No, worse, since I’m traveling over 100 miles to see him… I’m a groupie.

First, however, I’ve got a very important dinner date with the two people who made all this possible. Today is my parents’ 45th wedding anniversary. I’m sure I am no less amazed at how long that seems than they are…

spacer