If you’re one of the three people on Earth who hasn’t heard yet, the official announcement went out this morning: Principal photography on Star Wars Episode VII has wrapped and the actual title of the movie has been revealed:

Um, yeah. Okay.

I hate to be one those fans, you know, the ones who seem to derive more pleasure from bitching about the thing they supposedly love than, you know, actually enjoying it, but I have to admit I am… not impressed. It’s become somewhat axiomatic that the prequel titles — The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith —  were ridiculous and clunky (and there are even some who say the same of the original trilogy titles, A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi), but I disagree. I liked them from the start, because they evoked the saga’s origins in the old Flash Gordon cliffhanger serials of the 1930s, whose episodes had titles like “The Unseen Peril” (sound familiar?), “The Prisoner of Mongo,” and “Doom of the Dictator.” They have an enthusiastically pulpy sound that I personally find appealing. The Force Awakens, on the other hand… the tone is off, to my ear. It sounds very much like the title of a fan film to me, so many of which seem to be sooooo self-consciously serious, at least in my experience of them.

I don’t know, I could be wrong. It’s just three words, after all. They might grow on me after I’ve lived with them a while, and it could be they perfectly reflect the story, which will only become evident after we see the finished picture. I recently encountered a rumored plot line — which I won’t repeat here, for those readers who are trying to remain unspoiled — that this title would actually be quite appropriate for, as it supposes that certain characters have been, shall we say, dormant since we last encountered Our Heroes. But I don’t know that I believe that premise is for real, for a number of reasons. JJ Abrams played a lot of games in the run-up to Star Trek into Darkness, trying to fool everyone into believing that his film actually wasn’t a remake of The Wrath of Khan, when of course that’s precisely what it was. (Or so I’ve been told, as I still haven’t seen it. Trusted sources warned me to stay away if I wanted to maintain a healthy blood pressure.) There have been a lot of supposed leaks from the set of Episode VII, everything from pre-production art to that plot line to behind-the-scenes photos. Call me a cynic, but I wouldn’t put it past Abrams to be deliberately planting red herrings to get the fanboys talking, and also to keep them distracted from discovering what the movie is really about.

Or the leaks could be the real thing after all… in which case, I am… concerned. I’m trying very hard to remain open-minded about this first post-Lucas Star Wars film. I want it to be good, I really do. I’d love it if The Force Awakens is so good that it heals the rift that the prequels opened and makes it possible to again be a Star Wars fan without having to qualify where you stand. That it will again be possible to talk about Star Wars without it automatically turning into another tiresome debate. I want this film to recapture the magic of the original trilogy while also paving the way into the next generation of the Star Wars franchise. I want a movie that everyone will love. But I have a very hard time believing that JJ Abrams is the man to deliver it, after the complete hash he made of Star Trek. His take on that franchise was superficial flash that contained a lot of surface-level nods to the source material — or at least to the general public’s notion of the source — but showed no real understanding of what the source material was actually about. Abrams-Trek was an impression of Star Trek, rather than an authentic or meaningful updating of the franchise. And I fear that’s what we’re going to get with his take on Star Wars, as well. Granted, much of the blame for the Trek debacle lies with the scriptwriters… but it was Abrams, in the end, who was calling the shots. And it’s the same with Ep VII. He may have Lawrence Kasdan involved in writing the screenplay, but that doesn’t mean the director’s vision is going to be clear. Or worthwhile.

I’m especially worried about the tone of Episode VII. I think it’s going to be incredibly difficult to pull off. The grown-up fans who’ve lived with this franchise for 40 years, such as myself, are going to insist they he take the material very seriously — we understandably want a Star Wars that speaks to us, that’s matured along with us, and not a version made for the kiddies — and yet this material was never meant to be dark-n-gritty in the currently popular mode of so much of our entertainment. Star Wars shouldn’t be The Walking Dead; it’s the heir to Flash Gordon. That’s always got to be paramount when approaching this material. But of course so many people have forgotten that, or don’t want to admit it. The original trilogy had its dark moments, true, especially during Empire… but it was always fun, above all else. That sort of tone can be found — I think the films that comprise the Marvel Cinematic Universe are doing an exceptional job of it — but can it be done with Episode VII? Or perhaps more accurately, has it been done?

The alleged Ep VII pre-production art that’s floating around the web is very cool… but also very dark. Whereas the storyline I’ve run across is frankly pretty silly. There’s an immense ying-and-yang tension at work here… and again, I’m just not certain that JJ Abrams has the talent, the skillset, or frankly the depth to reconcile the two extremes and make it work.

And then there’s the fact that Our Heroes are pretty long in the tooth. I’m not opposed to seeing beloved characters getting old — The Wrath of Khan, widely considered the best of the original-cast Star Trek films, was more about Kirk coming to terms with his advancing age than blowing things up; that’s what made it such a great Star Trek film — but will Episode VII actually address the aging issue, or will we have the embarrassing spectacle of seeing Harrison, Mark, and Carrie trying to behave as they did 40 years ago (as in the worst of the original-cast Trek films, The Final Frontier)? For that matter, will Our Heroes even be an integral part of the story, or are they relegated to mere cameos? Again, that “leaked” story I’ve seen suggests the real action of the film is carried by the younger cast. Which I suppose would be fine if Harrison, Mark and Carrie’s cameos have some meaning to them and aren’t just stunts. But at this point, it’s impossible to say which direction Abrams will take.

And then there’s Anthony Daniels’ recent tweet that this film is going to be better than The Empire Strikes Back, which struck me as somebody trying too hard and just makes me suspicious about the true quality of this thing.

Again, I’m trying, I’m really trying to be open-minded… but I keep hearing that oft-repeated motto of the Star Wars saga in my head: I’ve got a bad feeling about this… and nothing that’s come out yet, including the official title, has done much to settle that feeling…