I love it when you special order an item from your local retailer — because you’re cool about supporting your community that way — and you arrange with the guy to call your cellphone when this item comes in, rather than the home phone number that’s listed in your account, because the item is supposed to be a gift for your cohabiting significant other and you don’t want to blow the Christmas-morning surprise. And then what happens? You find a message on the house phone this morning telling you that your item has arrived and can be picked up anytime, and oh, by the way, just in case you don’t remember what you ordered only a few days ago, let me tell you exactly what it is. In this message that may be heard by the cohabiting significant other for whom the item is supposed to be a gift. Rather than the private message to your cell, as we agreed upon.

Good thing I got to the house phone first this morning, isn’t it?