Monthly Archives: June 2012

I Knew Her When…

Longtime readers (and certainly my Facebook friends and Twitter followers) may have noticed that I sometimes have a tendency to gripe about my job. Occasionally. From time to time. Okay, often. That’s because… well, because it’s what I do. I’m the sort who vents about the things that irritate me, rather than bottling it all up, and lots of things irritate me during the course of your average day. Not to mention what it’s like on not-average days, which seem to come up in my line of employment with distressing frequency, especially during the warmer months, when the livin’ is supposed to be easy — or so we’ve been led to believe — but for some reason always seem to be the most hectic time of the year for me. You know, The Girlfriend and I are currently making our way through the original Twilight Zone, the classic TV series created by Rod Serling that ran from 1959 to ’64 (as opposed to the various revival attempts of more recent years) and I find it grimly amusing that so far in Season One alone, there’ve been two episodes dealing with stressed-out advertising executives who yearn for escape to a simpler, slower-paced, more humane way of life. I don’t know if Serling ever worked in advertising himself, but he definitely understood the environment. I can’t tell you how many days I have when I basically feel just like this:POTC_little-busy-right-now(In case you’re wondering, that animation comes from a really great blog called This Advertising Life, which seeks to convey “the emotions of a working life in advertising as told through gifs.” I don’t know how funny it might be for civilians who don’t work in the industry, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s dead-on-target ROTFL time. Browse through it a little bit and perhaps you’ll begin to understand why I get so frazzled and grumpy.)

Believe it or not, though, I really don’t dislike my job, despite the impression I probably give with all the bitching. I often get insanely frustrated with it, true, but in the big-picture view, there are actually a lot of great things about working where I do, and I know I don’t talk enough about those things. For example, in the almost-seven years I’ve been with this particular agency, I have met an astounding number of smart, creative, interesting, quirky, funny, extremely cool (and frequently very attractive, which is a nice bonus) human beings. I’ve even been fortunate enough to become friends with some of these people, and by “friends” I mean the sort of people who actually welcome you into their homes and introduce you to their children and pets.

One such person is a lovely woman named Diane Olson. Her background is in journalism, but her passion is in the natural world, specifically the things that live in her (and everybody else’s) own backyard. (I’m pretty confident I’m not likely to ever meet anyone who knows more about gardening than Diane.) For 17 years, she combined these aspects of her character to produce a regular column called “Urban Almanac” for Catalyst magazine, Salt Lake’s local alternative monthly. Then, in an completely unexpected bolt from the blue about two years ago, she was approached by a local publishing house about turning that column into a full-length book. It took her much wailing and gnashing of teeth to crank it out while also holding down a demanding agency gig, but somehow she pulled it off, and now, finally, that book is available for everyone reading this to purchase!

Diane's book
A Nature Lover’s Almanac: Kinky Bugs, Stealthy Critters, Prosperous Plants & Celestial Wonders is a nifty little volume of collected science factoids and gardening tips, one for each day of the year, some of which are truly obscure and mind-boggling. For instance, did you know grasshoppers are at their loudest when the air is 95 degrees, and they can’t sing at all below 62? (That’s the entry for August 19th; it’s a small thing, but it fascinates me… I mean, why?) The book is sized like a pocket field guide, with rounded corners so it’ll slide in and out of your pocket easily and a sturdy flat binding, and it’s beautifully illustrated by another Catalyst alum, Adele Flail. If you have any interest at all in nature or in growing things — or even if you just enjoy looking at something fun and breezy over breakfast every morning — I highly recommend it.

Diane told me once it’s been her lifelong dream to write a book and see her name on a shelf at her local library; she’s positively giddy now that it’s happened, and I am very, very happy for her. She’s managed to do what pretty much every copywriter (and certainly this particular proofreader) in the advertising business aspires to do: she’s become a published author. And the least I can do for my friend is congratulate her and give her a plug with whatever modest audience I happen to reach with this forum. If you think you might be interested in A Nature Lover’s Almanac, you can see all the details about it on the publisher’s page here, and you can order it through Amazon.com here.

Oh, one final note: I don’t think Diane will mind if I note that I helped out with the book’s title. The “celestial wonders” part was my suggestion. And yes, I’m pretty proud of that… now what are you waiting around here for? Go buy yourself a copy! (I have two copies myself!)

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Tourist Traps of the Future

James Lileks. His Daily Bleat was one of the first blogs I ever encountered, well over 10 years ago — man, that’s hard to process, that I’ve been reading blogs for over a decade — and I’ve been a more-or-less faithful reader ever since. But I have to confess, there have been times when I’ve been tempted to walk away from him for good. While I share his affinity for mid-20th century ephemera, architecture, and culture, he can be so bloody confounding at times. I disagree with his politics, and find him pretty unbearable when he veers into that domain; his frequent schtick of transcribing customer service encounters in minute detail has grown tiresome; his hatred of all things 1970s is tedious (I actually quite liked that decade; it was a good time to be a child); and his curmudgeonly attitude sometimes gets to be a little too much even for me, a fellow member of the august tribe of misanthropic “get off my lawn” types.

But then, just when I’m ready to pull the plug, he goes and writes something like this (he’s referring to last week’s news that the Voyager 1 space probe, launched in the landmark year 1977, is finally crossing the threshold from our solar system into interstellar space):

I’d like to think it’s not the last we’ve seen of it. If we build fast engines and get out there someday, someone will go looking for it. But it would be wrong to bring it home; that’s not its place. It would be a tourist attraction, like the ruins of an old colonial fort from the 17th century. Pass alongside, snap a picture: if you’ll look out the portside windows, we’re passing Voyager 1, which has a record containing the music of Chuck Berry and Beethoven. What haunts me is the idea that it will never be found, the record never be heard, and long after the sun has guttered out, the idea of Beethoven, unrealized, floats in an empty void, an arrangement of code.

As a would-be writer, I envy that paragraph. It’s an idea I wish I’d had, expressed more eloquently than I know I probably would. And as a space buff and a die-hard romantic, it makes me wistful. It’s a vision that I hope comes true. I can see it so clearly in my imagination: hundreds of passengers lining a futuristic version of a modern-day cruise ship’s promenade railing, pressing against floor-to-ceiling viewports that have been uncovered for just this occasion, straining to catch a glimpse of a historical treasure. The anticipation builds. A couple of people point excitedly at spots that turn out to be nothing at all, false sightings. Then the ship’s officers helpfully announce over the speakers where the crowd should look… and there it is, the legendary Flying Dutchman of space… a tiny, fragile-looking thing, pitted and scoured by centuries of exposure to interstellar dust and micrometeorites, glistening faintly like a dragonfly in the glare of the liner’s external floodlights. Its nuclear powercells are going cold, its transmitter no longer calls home, but somehow, improbably, it’s still going — still voyaging — ever outward…

I wish I could be there to see it, to experience a passage like that. Now that would be something to write about…

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Of Course, It’s Ironic…

…that I set up dlvr.it today in order to push notifications of new blog entries all over the place when I’m currently doing such a lousy job of actually writing new blog entries. Sigh. In lieu of any actual new content, please enjoy this somewhat-relevant musical trifle:

 

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Great Opening Lines: Lost Horizon

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A few entries back, I made a passing reference to James Hilton’s 1933 novel Lost Horizon, in which survivors of a plane crash find their way to a Tibetan lamasery high in the Himalayas, whose inhabitants don’t appear to age and who live in perfect peace and contentment in their isolation from the outside world. Sadly, this novel doesn’t seem to be very well remembered today, or at least that’s my impression, considering I’ve never met anyone who’s actually read it, and not many more who’ve even heard of it. It’s shocking to me that something could fall so far into obscurity in spite of being a huge bestseller in its time as well as the basis for two movie adaptations (in 1937 and 1973) and the source of an idea that still has currency in the pop-cultural hivemind (i.e., Shangri-La). I’m willing to bet most of the people who saw The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor thought the screenwriters came up with that notion all on their own. Oh, and just as a historical aside, Lost Horizon also has the distinction of being the first book published in the format we now know as the “mass-market paperback”; it was, in fact, Pocket Books #1.

My own memories of this novel go back to early childhood. My mother had a copy of it, which sat for years in a cupboard in my basement playroom (now the fabulous Bennion Archive, a sort of Shangri-La in itself), right alongside a copy of Alive, that infamous nonfiction book about those Uruguayan rugby players who resorted to cannibalism after their plane crashed in the Andes. Apparently my mom had a thing about high-mountain plane crashes or something. Anyway, I was long intrigued by the cover of her edition of Lost Horizon, which you can see above. The glowing green valley in the middle of the icy blue backgrounds whispered to me of magic and wonder; for a kid who’d already somehow developed a taste for decades-old pulp-fiction stories about adventurers and explorers encountering lost civilizations, that image held a magnetic lure. And yet, weirdly enough, I never got around to actually reading the book until my college years. And I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that I don’t remember much about it now — my retention for books appears to have gone to hell in recent years. I remember the basic premise, of course, and that I enjoyed it. But all the details are gone. Well, almost all of them. As it happens, I do recall the opening line, which struck me then and now as a wonderful articulation of something everyone has probably felt, but rarely thought to put into words:

Cigars had burned low, and we were beginning to sample the disillusionment that usually afflicts old school friends who have met again as men and found themselves with less in common than they had believed they had.

Stories work differently upon us depending on what’s happening in our lives when we encounter them. Maybe that line stuck in my mind because I had just experienced that same disillusion for myself around the time I read Lost Horizon. Or maybe something in my psychology is properly tuned for that sentiment to resonate. Or perhaps there’s just such a quiet truth to it that it couldn’t help but make an impression on me. Whatever the reason, those words have stayed with me for 20 years now while all the ones that follow them have evaporated.
Photo: 73rd Pocket Books printing of Hilton’s Lost Horizon, 1971; source.

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Well, That Was a Bust

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So I’m sure everyone heard about the transit-of-Venus thing that happened Tuesday, right? That once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event when the next planet inward from us passed between the Earth and the sun? Did you all manage to catch a glimpse of it? Well, good for you… The Girlfriend and I, on the other hand, got hosed. And considering this only happens every 105 years, I’m a little peeved about it.

I heard a couple days prior that our local planetarium was going to host a viewing party at the Gateway mall in Salt Lake. That’s only a couple blocks from my office, so I suggested Anne pick me up at quitting time and we drive over there for a quick peek, then go for dinner some place in the downtown area. A great plan… if only the weather had cooperated with us. When Anne arrived at my office, the skies were overcast and a cold wind was making it miserable to be outdoors. We still had a couple hours before sunset, so we decided to reverse our schedule, have dinner first and hope the clouds would break while we were eating. No such luck, though; we walked out of Sizzler an hour later beneath churning gray skies. But I wasn’t willing to give up yet… looking off to the west, toward the Gateway, I thought I could see a little patch of sunlight. Surely, I thought, that spot ought to be visible from the Gateway.

It took us a mere five minutes or so to drive across town and find a parking space. The viewing party — such as it was — was set up atop the broad concrete stairs overlooking the Olympic Fountain, an interactive water feature that commemorates the 2002 Winter Games that put Salt Lake City on the map. Not to mention Mitt Romney, the presumptive Republican nominee for president. But that’s another blog entry.

There was but a single telescope there, a stubby, fat-barreled model presided over by three very dejected-looking young people. One of them stepped forward to meet us as we approached. Wrapped in a blanket, with a shaggy mane of dark hair and sporting a pointy Van Dyke-style beard with carefully waxed and curled mustachios, he gave the general appearance of a Spanish conquistador.

“Have you been able to see anything?” I asked, hoping he’d have a more hopeful answer than the one I anticipated.

“Nah, we’ve been here since four o’clock and we haven’t been able to see shit, man,” he replied.

Anne and I commiserated with him for a moment, then decided there wasn’t any point in pretending any longer. We thanked the conquistador for his time and wandered into the nearby Barnes and Noble, where we killed close to another hour browsing. We were disappointed to have missed the transit, but it’d been a long time since we’d been in a bookstore with nothing in particular to buy and nowhere in particular we needed to be. It seemed an adequate consolation prize.

The final insult remained to be delivered, though. When we finally made our purchases and left the bookstore, to our surprise, we found the plaza outside was awash in lovely, golden-hour light! The skies had cleared after all, just as we’d hoped they would, and the sun was setting directly in front of us, framed in the gap between the buildings across from where we’d spoken to the conquistador. Except… he and his science-loving buddies were gone. They’d evidently given up and called it a night, and they’d taken their telescope with them. So Anne and I were left with a perfect view, but no equipment through which to view it. We didn’t even have any of the specially filtered sunglasses the planetarium sells for viewing eclipses. Somewhere, I thought I heard quiet, mocking laughter. It might have been the little kid playing in the Olympic Fountain, oblivious to the chilly temperatures. At least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

The next transit is due on December 10, 2117. I suppose there’s always a chance that someone will develop a longevity serum in the next couple decades…

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This Week’s Needlessly Provocative Political Comment

Thanks to some lucky quirks of geology and map-making, my home state of Utah encompasses some of the most varied, unique, and awe-inspiring landscapes in the world. You’ll find everything within our borders, from alpine meadows to the iconic red-rock deserts that countless movies have trained people to imagine whenever they think of “The West.” Hollywood location scouts love Utah, because pretty much any environment they need — including alien-planet weirdness — is within a day’s drive of Salt Lake City. As it happens, many of these same landscapes also contain vast mineral wealth, but due to another quirk — this one relating to history and politics — something like 60% of the state is tied up by the federal government in the form of national parks, military reserves, and designated wilderness areas. Given that Utah is culturally very pro-business and pro-development, as well as very anti-federal government, that doesn’t sit too well with a lot of people in these parts. Let’s just say residents of Utah tend to experience debates over environmental issues at a level of intensity that people who live in other places possibly do not.

For the record, I tend to lean more toward the environmentalist side of these debates, although I hasten to note that I don’t sympathize very much with the stereotypical treehuggers, i.e., the starry-eyed, misanthropic Edward Abbey fans who fantasize about dynamiting Glen Canyon Dam. Personally, I like driving a car and living in a fully plumbed, electrified, temperature-controlled, more-or-less permanent structure. I accept that such modernity comes with a price, and I’m also compassionate enough toward my fellow man to grok that the vast majority of ranchers, miners, loggers, and oil-rig workers are decent, hardworking people who are not out to rape and despoil Mother Earth, but simply want to make a living, often in locations where there aren’t many other career options.

That said, though, I’m utterly mystified by the other side of the political spectrum, whose attitude so often seems to be nothing short of unalloyed contempt for even the most mildest talk of conservation. You’d think the idea of restraining ourselves and setting aside something for the future, if for no other reason than to keep the family business going for the next generation, would appeal to conservatives. After all, the words “conservative” and “conservation” share the same root word, but no. What I hear coming from the right during Utah’s frequent environmental dust-ups is a defiant, almost gleefully lusty insistence that businesses be allowed to do whatever they want, wherever they want, to whatever extent they want. Or, to put it more bluntly, they seem to want to dig it all up, cut it all down, drive over every square inch of it in their giant SUVs, and burn everything as fast they can, maximizing their profits today for tomorrow we all die. The right’s response to the left’s environmental concerns — even such common-sense measures as the Clean Air Act, which seem as if they ought to be above partisan bickering in their obvious necessity — often strikes me as short-sighted greed. Or at the very least petty partisanship, i.e., if the liberals think its a good idea, we need to object to it. Never mind that it actually might be a good idea.

Perhaps I’m being unfair… but for what it’s worth, I’m not the only one who has that perception. Here’s what political blogger Andrew Sullivan — ostensibly a conservative himself, although he’s alienated himself from many on the right in recent years — had to say on the subject the other day:

When you feel no grief over a forest cut down or an old tree uprooted or a beloved beach eroded, you have ceased to be a conservative. When your response to the environment is solely instrumental – when you conceive it solely as something to be exploited rather than conserved – you are merely a capitalist. There are those who believe that conservatism is indistinguishable from capitalism. I am not one of them.

Hear, hear.

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They Caught a Dragon by the Tail

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When I awoke last Friday morning, I thought I’d missed all the fun already, and would have to content myself with a YouTube replay of the Dragon spacecraft arriving at the International Space Station. But whether because I miscalculated my time zones (always a possibility; I can never figure out how Utah’s daylight savings time works with the other zones) or because the Dragon’s approach was delayed by a small problem with its laser rangefinding device, it turned out that I was in fact just in time to watch live as the ISS grappled the spacecraft with its robotic arm.

(If you haven’t followed the coverage closely, I should explain, briefly, that Dragon was not allowed to maneuver into the ISS’s docking port under its own power, as the space shuttle used to. Rather, it closed to within a certain distance and matched speeds with the station, so it appeared from the ISS to be standing still, and then the ISS reached out and grabbed hold of the capsule with the Canadarm2 manipulator, which, as you can see in the image above, is a beefier version of the Canadian-built robot arm used aboard the shuttles. After holding the Dragon for a time while some final checks were made, the multi-jointed arm then pulled the capsule down to a port where it was made secure with latching bolts. This operation is called “berthing,” as opposed to “docking,” which involves some different hardware and techniques.)

I must confess, my expectations of how this sort of thing is supposed to look have been honed by countless sci-fi movies and TV shows, which rarely waste precious screentime on what usually amounts to an establishing shot as far as the plot is concerned. Which means fictional spacecraft meeting up with each other are usually depicted as moving with the same mundane carelessness as a city bus pulling to the curb. But in real life, the process is much more cautious and methodical, i.e., everything… moves… very… slow…ly… And that means I got a wee bit impatient before it was all over. At one point, it appeared as if the grappling head had stopped moving altogether, and when the voice of mission control announced that there was only half a meter’s distance remaining — a mere foot and a half — I actually yelled at my monitor something to the effect of, “Oh, come on!” But at last the grapple snapped down over the fixture on the side of the capsule, and the historic message came down from the ISS: “Looks like we’ve got a Dragon by the tail.” And I felt a warm glow of cheer spread through my chest that I haven’t felt since the space shuttle Discovery blasted off on her post-Columbia disaster “return to flight” mission.

I had to switch off the computer at that point and get to work, and by the time I reached the office, Dragon was berthed. I intended to blog my thoughts about the event then, but naturally it was a busy day at work, as it always seems to be when something is going on that I really want to write about (it’s almost as if The Man knows). And a busy day led to a busy three-day weekend that blurred into another busy week. Meanwhile, high above our heads, the ISS crew had opened the connecting hatches and reported that Dragon had a “new-car smell” and looked “like a sci-fi filmset” inside, with its blue LED lights marking the deck (as opposed to the walls, difficult to distinguish when you’re floating in zero-g), before getting busy unloading the 1,100 pounds of food, water, clothing and equipment she’d brought up. This cargo was replaced with over 1,300 pounds of used equipment and other items scheduled for return to Earth, the first time the ISS has been able to send anything back since the last shuttle flight a year ago.

And then early yesterday morning, after nine days in space that seemed to pass with astonishing speed (at least from my perspective), Dragon was pushed away from the station by the Canadarm2, fired her thrusters to begin decelerating, and re-entered the atmosphere for a controlled splashdown in the Pacific Ocean, a little under 600 miles west of Baja California. For old-timers and space buffs who know their history, the scene looked like a return to the glory days of Apollo, with the scorched capsule descending beneath fat, red-and-white-striped parachutes. Today, she’s on a barge that will return her to Long Beach, California. The capsule will need to be thoroughly inspected, of course, but as of right now, it looks like the mission was a flawless success, aside from that one glitch with the rangefinder. The demonstration phase is over; SpaceX has proven it’s up for the job of supporting the space station, and now hopes to fly the first of twelve contracted cargo runs to the ISS as early as this summer. Looking a little farther down the road, the plan is to fly the first humans aboard a Dragon capsule in 2015.

I’m sure everyone who doesn’t live and breathe this stuff is sick of hearing it, since every news article has said the same thing, but this point must be emphasized again: this mission was historic, as much so in its way as the Mercury missions or the first space shuttle flight. This was the first time a private company did what has previously been the sole province of national governments: they designed, built, and successfully demonstrated both a booster rocket and a functioning, useful spacecraft. Yes, NASA provided some seed money and the parameters to follow, but SpaceX, and in particular the company’s founder Elon Musk, essentially did this on their own. And while there are several other private companies aiming for the same goal, SpaceX got there first. A plucky little company comprising fewer than 2,000 employees, mostly enthusiastic young people from what I can see, has brought us into the age of commercial space travel. It’s a great story. And you know, as much as I love my space shuttles and wish there was still a role for them up there, even if it’s a much-reduced one from what they previously enjoyed, I’m overjoyed about this development. It means that somebody still wants to go up there and has the will to do it. And it opens up… possibilities. As depressed as I was about our future in space only a few months ago, today I am hopeful. Hopeful that in only a few short years, the skies will be filled with spacecraft — manned, reusable spacecraft — from a dozen private-industry firms, and that NASA is back in the big-idea business, and maybe, just maybe, the public gives a damn again about seeing what’s over the horizon…

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