The Mighty Cave of Cool Survey

Nothing like a nice meme that you can work on a little bit at a time when your world is too crazy to allow for proper blog entries. These “quiz things,” as Jaquandor calls them, are getting harder to find; I guess they’ve become a bit passe these days, rather like blogging itself, really. But I still enjoy them, especially when, as I mentioned, I’m too busy to really do much else.

Here’s a pretty good one I found over at Michael May’s AdventureBlog

  1. NAME:
    R. Jason Bennion, just like it says up there in the masthead.
  2. NICKNAME(S):
    None, really. A long, long time ago, back when I worked at the multiplex, my theater buddies occasionally referred to me as “the Jedi Master.” But that was before the Dark Times… before the Special Editions…
  3. BIRTHPLACE:
    Salt Lake City

  4. WEBSITE:
    Self-evident, isn’t it?
  5. FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING:
    Ranch, the most versatile and yummy of all salad dressings. Although I do occasionally enjoy a nice Caeser.

  6. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR:
    Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.
  7. FUTURE CAREER GOALS:
    Write novels and screenplays and personal essays and blog entries, and somehow arrange things so I only have to work six or eight months a year and can travel and enjoy living the rest of the time.

  8. PROBABLE CAREER:
    Working for The Man as an anonymous cog in an infernal machine and gradually losing my will to live, one miserable, defeated inch at a time. In other words, the same thing I’m doing now.

  9. FAVORITE FOOD:
    It varies depending on my mood, of course, but you can rarely go wrong with a big, juicy cheeseburger with all the trimmings, on a buttery, toasted bun.

  10. FAVORITE NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK:
    Lately I’ve been on an iced-tea kick. I’m getting to where I have a hard time drinking soda made with high-fructose corn syrup — the varieties made with actual sugar, like Mexican Coke or the limited-edition “experiments” such as Mountain Dew Throwback or the latest I’ve seen, 7-UP Retro, are like the nectar of the gods, but the HFCS stuff leaves a foul aftertaste — and iced tea has proven to be remarkably refreshing on a hot day. Plus, being uncarbonated, it doesn’t leave one feeling like the Goodyear Blimp after lunch in one of those places where they refill your glass half a dozen times.

    The only problem is that I’ve noticed a huge disparity in quality from one restaurant to another. I can only assume that it’s not a very popular drink in the Salt Lake area, so few people know how to make it properly, or the big self-service urns don’t turn over often enough during the day to keep it fresh, or something. Or it could be that I’m thinking too much about it and some places just have sucky iced tea.

  11. FAVORITE SCHOOL SUBJECT:
    History and English, to no one’s surprise.
  12. FAVORITE SCHOOL ACTIVITY:
    Sitting in the back of the classroom looking cool.

  13. LEAST FAVORITE SCHOOL SUBJECT:
    Math. I never really enjoyed math, but I didn’t actively start to dislike it until Algebra II in my sophomore year of high school, when I had a very young, very nice, but utterly inept teacher who could not make his students understand this stuff to save his life. A typical class session consisted of 45 minutes of increasing awkwardness, nervous smiles, and sticky flop sweat until people started tuning him out altogether (I usually ended up contemplating the skin-tight parachute pants worn by the rocker chick who sat next to me). That experience, combined with the realization that, no, you really don’t need to know this stuff unless you’re headed for an occupation that requires it, ensured that Algebra II was my last math course. Ever. I avoided it in college, too.

  14. LEAST FAVORITE SCHOOL ACTIVITY:
    Gym. Duh. Although I always found pep rallies pretty interminable, too. I am not by nature one to display “pep.”

  15. WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR TOWN:
    The geography, specifically the rugged mountains that encircle the Salt Lake Valley. They’re beautiful, their closeness to the city makes you feel protected, and they make it virtually impossible to get lost — you can always tell your directions based on which mountain range you’re looking at.

  16. WHAT DO YOU LIKE LEAST ABOUT YOUR TOWN:
    Feeling like a disenfranchised and barely tolerated outsider in the place I was born and have lived my entire life, because I don’t belong to the locally (overwhelmingly) dominant religion or the locally (overwhelmingly) dominant political party.
  17. GREATEST ADVENTURE:
    Trekking through Germany largely on my own for two weeks. And did I mention I don’t speak a word of German?

  18. MOST ROMANTIC MOMENT:
    Hm. Well, I don’t want to divulge anything too intimate, so how about this: a few weeks back, The Girlfriend and I were enjoying a rare afternoon in which we had absolutely nothing scheduled, no place we needed to be, and nothing that needed to be done. We decided to fill that blissfully empty space on the agenda with some low-stress window shopping in Park City, a former mining town turned ski-resort destination in the mountains east of Salt Lake. After a couple hours of wandering up and down Historic Main Street, we dropped into the Wasatch Brew Pub for a late lunch/early dinner. The place was sparsely populated at that time of day, so we were able to enjoy the luxury of a very attentive waitress. Towards the end of our meal — and much friendly bantering with this waitress — she asked if she could make a personal inquiry. She wanted to know how long Anne and I had been dating; she was guessing only a couple of weeks because we appeared to be “so much in love.” Now, normally, my cynical nature would have thought this was simply a smarmy attempt to manipulate me into adding another buck to her tip, but she seemed genuine about it… especially her amazed reaction when I told her we’d been together 18 years. Kind of nice to think we’re still making a scene after all this time…

  19. HOW MANY PILLOWS:
    Two, one under the head and one to hold.

  20. PETS:
    Currently, a whole plethora of cats, consisting of the Kitty Boys (Evinrude, Hannibal, and Jack-cat) and their semi-feral mother, Uggy (also known as Yappy, depending on who’s speaking to her at the time).

  21. THREE FAVORITE MOVIES (SO FAR THIS YEAR):
    Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Help

  22. THREE FAVORITE MOVIES (ALL TIME):
    Star Wars (Episode IV: A New Hope, if you really must), Raiders of the Lost Ark (note that I did not call it Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark — phooey on revisionism!), Casablanca

  23. THREE FAVORITE TV SHOWS (THIS YEAR):
    Castle, Pan Am, Blue Bloods
  24. THREE FAVORITE TV SHOWS (ALL TIME):
    Star Trek, WKRP in Cincinnati, Magnum PI

  25. THREE FAVORITE SONGS:
    I love a lot of music, so it’s difficult to pick just three, but if you twist my arm, here are the ones that come immediately to mind: “Jessie’s Girl” — don’t laugh, I think it’s a brilliant piece of pop songwriting, and no, I’m not being ironic — Buddy Holly’s “Peggy Sue,” and The Traveling Wilburys’ “End of the Line.”
  26. THREE FAVORITE ALBUMS OR CDs:
    Working Class Dog by Rick Springfield; Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes by Jimmy Buffett; and Bob Seger’s The Distance.

  27. THREE FAVORITE MUSIC VIDEOS:
    ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man”; Lita Ford’s “Kiss Me Deadly” (not a great video, but Lita was looking yummy back then); and everybody’s favorite, a-ha’s “Take on Me.”

  28. FAVORITE SINGER:
    Male: Rick Springfield.

    Female: A bit more difficult… Stevie Nicks, perhaps. When she’s doing the rocky stuff, anyway. I’m not as fond of some of the big, long romantic epics she tends to put on each album.

  29. FAVORITE MUSICAL GROUP:
    Hm. Tough one… probably Queen, I guess.

  30. FAVORITE CELEBRITY:
    William Shatner. I think he long ago transcended the confines of mere “actor.” He’s now famous simply for being… Shatner. And he amuses the hell out of me much of the time.

  31. LEAST FAVORITE CELEBRITY:
    Snooki, or Paris Hilton, or the Kardashians, or Boston Rob, or any of those other half-wit reality-show douchebags who glorify extreme ignorance and bad manners, achieve fame and fortune by basically being sociopathic narcissists, and contribute nothing whatsoever to society.

  32. FAVORITE MALE STAR:
    Assuming this means “movie star,” as opposed to other kinds of stars… Harrison Ford. He has provided me with reliable entertainment throughout much of my life, even as he’s grown old and crotchety and his choice of projects has sometimes — often, even — faltered. There are lots of male movie stars whose work I enjoy or whom I think are cool — Sean Connery, Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis, Kevin Costner… and those are just the living ones! — but Harrison gets the lifetime achievement award.

  33. FAVORITE FEMALE STAR:
    This one is tougher. I’ve realized, as I did with the favorite female singer above, that I seem to be very male-centric with my media-star favorites. Nothing against women, of course. But I think men have higher box-office appeal than women, sadly, both for me and for society in general. I can’t recall ever going to a movie just because I like a woman who’s in it. I have seen movies just because they feature Harrison Ford or Sean Connery. Anyway, I’m going to say… Sigourney Weaver. She’s unconventionally pretty, has worked in a broad range from comedy to action to character studies, and I’ve liked a great many of her films.

    Runners-up: Angelina Jolie, Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep.

  34. WORD OR PHRASE YOU OVERUSE:
    Um, I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it because it seems so… ghetto, but there’s a certain four-letter Anglo-Saxon word that starts with “f” and ends in “uck” that I seem to unleash with greater and greater frequency these days. Hey, you try working my job and see if you don’t start losing some of your decorum.

  35. BODY PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS:
    I used to have a piercing in my left ear, but it got infected at some point, so I removed the stud to let it heal and the hole closed over. I’ve never felt compelled to have it repunched.

    As for a tattoo, I’ve toyed with the idea from time to time, but never have been able to think of anything I think I’d still want to look at in 20 years. Also, tats are so overdone these days and so common that they’ve lost a lot of their “cool” factor. I hate going along with the crowd.

  36. IF YOU COULD WITNESS ONE EVENT IN HISTORY, WHICH WOULD IT BE AND WHY WOULD YOU GO THERE?
    Not a specific event per se, but I’d love to see a zeppelin floating across the landscape in their pre-Hindenburg glory days. Or take one of the famous Pan Am Flying Clippers to someplace exotic. Why? Because they were cool and they’re not around any more, not even in museums…
  37. WHAT DO YOU THINK OTHERS ADMIRE ABOUT YOU?
    I have no idea. I don’t feel terribly admirable most of the time these days.

  38. WHAT DO YOU ADMIRE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?
    See question 37.

  39. WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF IF YOU COULD?
    I’d like to have my hair back. Not a toupee or a half-assed “replacement system” or Rogaine-inspired peach fuzz, but the actual, honest-to-god, thick-n-wavy hair that I had when I was 17. Getting fat, having to get glasses, even my occasional problems with gout don’t bother me nearly as much as that damn male pattern baldness. Yeah, I know, I ought to be like Connery or Bruce Willis and just embrace it… but I really hate being bald. I hate the top of my head feeling cold in the winter and getting sunburned in summer. I hate being limited on style options and the way the pathetic strands that are left up there blow around in the wind. I hate the way all of my hats have ugly-ass sweat stains on them because they’re in direct contact with my sweaty brow, and I hate that I have to wear hats or head-wraps now to soak up the sweat from my sweaty brow, because otherwise it rolls down my bald dome into my face. Mostly, though, I just don’t like how I look. And now that I’ve revealed that bit of insecurity…

  40. IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD YOU GO AND WHY?
    San Francisco. It’s a beautiful place with lots to see and do (and eat), it’s geographically constrained, which lends it a curiously cozy feel for such a large city, and on my various trips there, I’ve just always found it to be sympatico with my outlook on the world. It’s also the most European of any American city I’ve ever visited. Make of that what you will…

  41. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR LAST MEAL (INCLUDE EVERYTHING)?
    Well, I wouldn’t want to step off into eternity feeling like a bloated warthog, so I’m not going to list off a dozen different entrees like some people do when confronted with this question. I’d probably keep it simple and just go with that cheeseburger I mentioned earlier. Let’s make it a bacon cheeseburger — after all, I’m about to kick off, so who cares about cholesterol anymore, right? Anyhow, cook it on the backyard grill and serve it up with lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickle, with a little mayo, mustard, and ketchup on that grilled bun. Then put some home-cooked crinkle-cut fries and a wedge of watermelon on the side, with an ice-cold Mexican Coke to wash it down. And homemade strawberry ice cream for dessert. (Obviously, I’m still looking at the summertime menu here.)

    Okay, Death, you may have me now…

  42. WHAT LIVING PERSON WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO HAVE LUNCH WITH?
    Bill Clinton. Love him or loathe him, he’s unquestionably one of the most intelligent and articulate guys walking the world today. I’m sure the conversation would be fascinating, challenging, and highly entertaining.
  43. WHAT DEAD PERSON WOULD YOU MOST HAVE LIKED TO HAVE LUNCH WITH?
    DeForest Kelley, a.k.a. Dr. McCoy on the original Star Trek. By every account I’ve ever heard, he was the sweetest man who ever walked the earth, and I regret not having the chance to meet him. I’ve shaken the hand of every other Star Trek cast member except Leonard Nimoy and Walter Koenig, but there’s still a chance with them because they’re still here. I missed my chance with De…

  44. THREE BOOKS TO TAKE TO A DESERT ISLAND:
    Stephen King’s Under the Dome, James Clavell’s Shogun, and Moby-Dick… if I’m on a desert island, presumably I’d finally have the time to read these doorstops!

  45. THREE PEOPLE TO TAKE TO A DESERT ISLAND:
    The Girlfriend (duh!), John Locke from LOST (survival expert), and Neil Patrick Harris. Why? I don’t know, but at least I wouldn’t have to worry about him trying to steal my girl.

  46. THREE WISHES (NO FAIR WISHING FOR MORE WISHES):
    My 17-year-old self’s hair, a sense of self-worth, and more time.

    No, wait! Scratch the first two. I’ll take time, time, and more time. Seriously, I’ve come to realize in recent years that time — specifically leisure time — is the most important commodity in the world. Think of all the things we could accomplish… if only we had more time. Want to be rich? Compound interest and time. Want to reinvent yourself and truly start over? That, to me, is the most fascinating aspect of the immortal characters in Highlander or the Star Trek episode “Requiem for Methuselah.” I don’t know that I’d want to live forever, but another century or two — assuming my body was still somewhat youthful, of course, with none of that ironic, Twilight Zone twist-ending, deal-with-the-devil doublecross stuff — would be the greatest thing I could think of.

  47. SPORT YOU MOST LIKE TO WATCH:
    Women’s beach volleyball. Duh.

    Seriously, I’m not a sports guy. I don’t watch any of them.

  48. SPORT YOU MOST LIKE TO PARTICIPATE IN:
    Uh… not a sports guy. I do go bowling once in a blue moon, though, so I guess that’d be it.
  49. WHAT DO YOU COLLECT:
    Easier to ask what don’t I collect. I collect movies, books, comics, posters, toys, memorabilia of all kinds pertaining to a dozen different subjects, interesting antiques, music… you get the idea. Longtime Loyal Readers may recall that my masthead up there used to include a line about me being a pack rat…

  50. WHO DO YOU ADMIRE MOST IN YOUR LIFE:
    This is going to sound cheesy, but… my dad.

    It wasn’t always so. Only a few years ago, Dad and I didn’t get along very well, didn’t understand each other, and frankly I don’t think we even liked each other very much. But somehow, very gradually and without any dramatic trigger event like the ones television has trained us to expect, things have changed between us. Oh, we still generate plenty of friction when we’re together, but I’ve come to recognize and respect his unique form of blue-collar genius. A friend of mine once described him (and this friend’s own father) as “one of those old Kennecott* guys who can do anything, and probably has,” and that’s the most accurate description I can think of. He can do things with machines that I’ve never seen anyone else do, and
    there isn’t a construction-type skill he hasn’t at least dabbled with,
    if not mastered. The truth is, I envy my dad. He’s cool in ways I’ll never be, because he knows exactly who he is and what he’s capable of. And most everything he does has some genuine value to it, a tangible effect on the physical world. Me, all I do is contribute to the din of instantly disposable claptrap in which our society is drowning.

    * “Kennecott” refers to Utah Kennecott Copper, owners of the Bingham Canyon open-pit mining operation where my dad, and the dads of probably half my high-school class, worked when we were all growing up.

  51. WHAT HISTORICAL PERIOD WOULD YOU HAVE LIKED TO LIVE IN:
    Swashbuckling fantasies of Ren Faire-style wenching and carousing aside, I don’t think I’d be truly happy in any time period before the advent of flush toilets. So I’m going to say the mid-20th century, between the end of World War II and the Summer of Love. That really was America’s golden age… yes, yes, there was racism, sexism and conformism, but when hasn’t there been in American society, including today? There was also national confidence and pride, a booming economy, rapidly advancing technology, a middle-brow culture of art and literature, the coming of the Jet Age and the Space Race and rock and roll, and of course there were cars with lots of chrome…

  52. FAVORITE MONOPOLY PIECE:
    I’ve never played Monopoly. I don’t enjoy games. Not any games.

  53. SPIRIT ANIMAL:
    What, like Harry Potter’s Patronus? Hell, I don’t know… some kind of bird, maybe?

  54. FAVORITE ANIMAL:
    I assume this means a wild animal, in which case, wolves. I just think they’re pretty. And I like dogs.

  55. BEST AND WORST PARTS OF LIVING IN THE FUTURE:
    The best: all the myriad ways this world is coming to resemble Star Trek.

    The worst: all the other ways in which the world still does not resemble Star Trek.

    I suppose I ought to elaborate. The good thing about being up here in the future is all the incredible technology we pretty much take for granted. We have access to amounts of information and entertainment that are frankly unprecedented in all of human history, and we can carry much of it in our pockets; we can talk to people on the other side of the planet — via two-way video no less!; and my friend Jeremy is walking around on computer-controlled prosthetic legs that aren’t too far removed from TV-style bionics.

    Even with all that, however, I think we’ve actually gone backwards in sociological terms. Social injustice, economic inequality, and civil unrest are as great, if not greater, than they’ve ever been. Ignorance and outright hostility to science and education are rampant. Racism and sexism haven’t gone away, only underground, and other forms of bigotry — notably against homosexuals — are flourishing. And hanging over everything is this pervasive sense that we’ve passed some tipping point, and everything is winding down, used up, and/or falling apart. There are days when I could swear we’re only three months away from Mad Max, at best.

    Oh, and of course, there is a distressing lack of spaceships in this particular future. Star Trek had us launching astronauts in hibernation to the outer planets aboard so-called “sleeper ships” over a decade ago. Instead, we’re putting our space shuttles in museums and seriously discussing how we’re going to deorbit the just-completed ISS.

  56. DO YOU PREFER CATS OR DOGS:
    Dogs. I currently have cats, true, and I love them and enjoy their company and laugh at their antics… but they’re just not buddies the way a dog is.

  57. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR SPICE GIRL NAME IF YOU WERE IN THAT GROUP:
    “Hairy Spice.” I may not have much hair left on the top of my head, but I’ve got plenty to spare in other locations!
  58. DO YOU PREFER COKE OR PEPSI:
    Coke, no question. I’ll drink Pepsi if I have no choice, but I don’t really like it. Hey, these loyalties form when you’re very young…

And that’s all for now. I’m think I’ll head outside and enjoy a gorgeous fall Saturday… hope you-all are able to do the same!

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