Do you all remember The Dark Crystal, Jim Henson’s experimental fantasy film from the early ’80s? It’s really a masterpiece of pre-digital effects work and virtuoso puppetry that immerses the audience in an alien world populated entirely by non-human creatures. Anyhow, if you recall, there’s a scene in which the Skeses, the evil bird-like bad guys, use the power of the titular crystal to drain the life essence from the “Podlings,” the innocent little villagers who live nearby, rendering them into prematurely aged, brain-dead slaves. Here, refresh your memories… go ahead, I’ll wait…

So, yeah, my job has reminded me of a lot of this scene lately. Guess which character I am?