Here’s a NSFW-ish but very funny song that does away with all those tedious metaphors and slang and just says what every other pop song is trying to say:

And it’s catchy, too! I could make some kind of over-intellectualized case for how this is a snapshot of the state of American pop culture at the end of the first decade of the 21st Century, but really, all that matters is that it’s catchy, right?