I was planning to do a whole string of Halloween-themed entries last week, followed by some long-overdue business (such as a tribute for the late Patrick Swayze, whose premature death moved me to a surprising degree) this week. But, as it seems to do with distressing regularity these days, work has simply overwhelmed every other aspect of my life lately. Busy, busy days, a few late nights at the office, and a major truckload of job-related stress and anxiety haven’t left much time or energy for anything else.

A few days ago, however, feeling the need to get something posted up here for the sake of my own sanity, if not the pleasure of my Three Loyal Readers, I thought to fall back on the ol’ reliable of the blogosphere, the not-quite-an-entry exercise that you can noodle at a little bit at a time whenever you find yourself with five free minutes. Yes, that’s right, kids, it’s a meme. This particular one is courtesy of Jaquandor.

So, without further ado, let the meme-ocity begin!

A- Advocate for: I don’t advocate for anything in the sense of belonging to an organization or carrying signs at street-corner protests, but issues I care about include the separation of church and state; equal rights and justice for everyone, even those we disagree with or disapprove of; keeping the government out of people’s pants and putting it back into Big Business; finding cures for cancer, ALS, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and paralysis due to spinal injury; preservation of historic architecture and open spaces; preservation of older movies, both in the sense of restoring films whose physical media have deteriorated but also ensuring that the original (and more historically significant) theatrical cuts remain available to the public even after “special editions,” “director’s cuts,” and “expanded editions” are released (yes, Uncle George, I am looking at you!); and finally, our society’s screwed-up priorities regarding work vs. leisure time.
B- Best feature: The Girlfriend is rather fond of my eyes. Or so she tells me.
C- Could do without: Stupid, mean, bigoted, sanctimonious, nosy, manipulative, arrogant, game-playing, cutthroat, self-centered, and/or generally asshat people. That would eliminate roughly three-quarters of the world’s population, by my estimates.
D- Dreams and desires: To travel the world. To enjoy my life a lot more than I currently do. To write something that really matters to people, truly moves them, and maybe even makes them cry. To not feel anxious, pissed off, afraid, overwhelmed, and/or dejected all the damn time. To feel satisfied that I am in the right place, doing the right thing. To trust my own decisions. To not be constantly trying to catch up. To actually be as cool as I thought I was at the age of 19.
E- Essential items: Geez, I don’t know. Car keys. A bottle opener. The TV remote. My leather jacket. What constitutes “essential” anyhow? Seems to be rather situational, if you ask me.
F- Favorite past time: To borrow the same persnickety joke Jaquandor used, my favorite “past time” would probably be the middle of the 20th Century, i.e., the 1930, ’40s, and ’50s — yeah, there was that Depression thing and that whole bummer of a World War followed by the Red Scare, the Cold War, and a lot of repression, but at least they had style in those days, and great things left to do and the drive to do them.
As for my favorite “pastime” (which is, I suspect, what the creator of this meme actually meant): blogging, watching movies, reading, web surfing, photography, and driving with the top down.
G- Good at: Griping. What, you hadn’t noticed?
H- Have never tried: Koumiss. That’s a beverage made from fermented mare’s milk, enjoyed by Mongolians and other inhabitants of central Asia.
I- If I had a million dollars: I’d spend a year touring the entire world, including Antarctica. Then I’d invest whatever’s left and hopefully make enough off the interest and dividends to live comfortably without having to work very hard.
J- Junkie for: Coffee, soft drinks, and chocolate.
K- Kindred spirit: Irish whiskey. Well, it didn’t specify what kind of spirit, now, did it?
L- Little known fact: Squeaky-clean Salt Lake City used to have a walled-off red-light district called The Stockade, which stood only a couple blocks from where I’m sitting right now.
Oh, you mean a little-known fact about me. Okay. Um… hm. Let me get back to you on that.
M- Memorable moment: Sitting on a bench at the edge of the Rhine River, watching barges buck the current upstream in the cool twilight and smelling woodsmoke from the stoves and fireplaces of the little hillside village at my back.
N- Never again will I: Attend any kind of musical performance at Energy Solutions Arena (formerly known by the much-better name Delta Center). The acoustics are truly shitty, and following a tremendously disappointing performance by The Moody Blues with the Utah Symphony Orchestra about 10 years ago, I decided I just couldn’t justify wasting any more money on that kind of dissatisfaction.
O- Occasional indulgence: The aforementioned Irish whiskey, or some single-malt scotch. Despite how I probably make it sound sometimes on this blog, I really don’t drink very often.
P- Profession: I’m a proofreader at a good-sized advertising agency.
Q- Quote: “Robert, for God’s sake! We’re the only ones who even remember Logan’s Run!”
— Mark in the movie Free Enterprise, during a particularly intense pre-thirtieth birthday nightmare.
R- Reason to smile: Ducks. Seriously. They amuse me with their funny, little rolling gaits and their eternal air of slightly offended dignity — they remind me of a retired British major-general who enjoys his supper and his brandy a little too much and has to get back to his bachelor quarters before Mrs. Hudson goes home for the evening.
S- Sorry about: A great many things, dating back a very long time. Unfortunately, regret and guilt seem to walk hand in hand with the instinctive nostalgia that comprises so much of my character.
T- Things you are worrying about right now: Right this very minute… nothing much. Which is odd for me. I’m sure something will come up by afternoon…
U- Uninterested in: Sports. Of any kind. I could not possibly care less about the outcome of events where people move various types of balls across various types of playing surfaces to determine who gets to act like the most arrogant, triumphalist ass.
For the record, I’m not real big on board games, either. Or video games. Basically, I’m not interested in competitive activities.
V- Very scared of: Making the wrong choices and living to regret them.
W- Worst habits: Procrastination and, as my mother would say, “making mountains out of mole-hills,” i.e., overreacting.
X- X marks my ideal vacation spot: Hm… how about an X stretching from John o’ Groats in Northern Scotland to Istanbul, and from Helsinki to Lisbon in the opposite direction? Yes, it’s true — while most people’s idea of a vacation is taking the fam to Disneyland or riding around the ocean on a floating shopping mall/day spa, I’d much rather be walking a cobblestoned street or sitting at a sidewalk cafe somewhere in Europe. Different strokes, right?
Y- Yummiest dessert: Key lime pie. Warm apple pie a la mode. Pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. Pecan pie. Carrot cake with real cream-cheese frosting. A really moist chocolate cake. German chocolate cake, a somewhat different animal from regular chocolate cake. Homemade ice cream. Creme brulee. And if I’m feeling pedestrian, a couple of Ding Dongs or some Fudge Stripe cookies and milk.
Z- Zodiac sign: Virgo, the sign of the virgin. When I was 15, I found that roundly embarrassing. Since I was 18 or thereabouts, I’ve thought it was kind of funny. Draw your own conclusions.