Here’s a meme-type thing about movies that I picked up over on Facebook. It was pretty obviously assembled by someone younger than me, since most of the titles on the list came out just in the past ten years or so, and the handful of older ones date only as far back as the ’70s and ’80s. Another clue is that most of the comedies on this list come from what I think of as the “asinine” school of comedy, the lamentable modern-day idiom that seems predicated on the idea that nothing’s funnier than people uttering non-sequiturs and behaving as if they haven’t got a brain in their heads. (See Dynamite, Napoleon. Or better yet, don’t bother.) But I’m sure I’m just coming across as yet another grumpy old bastard yelling at The Damn Kids to get off my lawn. Such is life.

In any event, here’s the meme. I’ve made a few modifications (correcting film titles that I knew were incomplete or inaccurate, etc.), and added some comments in square brackets ([]).

SUPPOSEDLY if you’ve seen over 94 films, you have no life. [According to whom? I’ve never heard this. Is that 94 in a lifetime? Seems a pretty small number over several decades, even if you don’t go to the movies very often…] Mark the ones you’ve seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own Facebook account [blog], and paste this as a note [entry]. Then, put x’s next to the films you’ve seen, add them up, [and include your number in the entry’s heading] change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.

[Directions modified for anyone who wants to turn this into a blog thing instead of a Facebook thing.]

( ) The Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) The Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) The NeverEnding Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane

My total so far: 7

(x) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
(x) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

My total so far: 12

( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

My total so far: 15

(x) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
(x) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
(x) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
(x) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
( ) Resident Evil
( ) Resident Evil: Apocalypse
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch

Total so far: 22

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) The Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots

Total so far: 28

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) King Kong [Which version? I’m willing to bet whoever made up this exercise doesn’t even realize there were two versions before Peter Jackson’s! I’ve seen all three, of course.]

Total so far: 31

( ) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween [The 1978 version; I choose not to acknowledge Rob Zombie’s remake.]
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-Mas
( ) Flubber [I saw the original, i.e., The Absent-Minded Professor, when I was a kid…]

Total so far: 33

(x) Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(X) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards

Total so far: 40

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) A Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask

Total so far: 45

( ) Bad Boys [I think I saw this one, but can’t remember for sure…]
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean’s Eleven
(x) Ocean’s Twelve
(x) The Bourne Identity
(x) The Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator
(x) Predator II
(x) The Fog [The original version from 1980.]
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George

Total so far: 56

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss’s Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds [Both versions, so does this count twice? The one from 1953 is superior to the Tom Cruise effort, by the way.]
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total so far: 64

( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She’s All That
(x) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) The Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) Terminator 2: Judgment Day
(x) Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Total so far: 75

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-Men: The Last Stand
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday [The original 1976 version, of course.]
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total so far: 85

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th Street [The 1947 version — beginning to see a pattern?]
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x) Krippendorf’s Tribe [I still shudder at the memory of it…]
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Total so far: 87

(x) The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) The Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark [I refuse to append “Indiana Jones and the” to this. It was called simply Raiders of the Lost Ark for two decades and everyone knew it was an Indiana Jones movie…]
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Total so far: 93

( ) BASEketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) The Devil’s Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
( ) The Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three

Total so far: 95

( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch
(x) Monsters, Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
(x) Willard [The original… of course!]

Total so far: 101

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(x) The Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
( ) The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 Days Later
( ) Orgazmo
(x) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld

Total so far: 105

(x) Kill Bill, Vol. 1
( ) Kill Bill, Vol. 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave a.k.a. The Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness

Total so far: 108

(x) Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope [So I’m opposed to revisionism; sue me.]
(x) Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
( ) Caravan Of Courage: An Ewok Adventure
( ) Ewoks: The Battle For Endor

Total so far: 114

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) The Animatrix
(x) The Evil Dead
(x) The Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon [I saw Manhunter, which was the original take on this story, but not this version.]
(x) The Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

Total so far: 122

Now add them up and…

Put “I’ve seen… 122 out of 239 films” in the subject line and repost it.

[So I guess I have no life. I have even less of a life if you start including older movies and/or movies I just happen to find more appealing. I have more than 239 movies in my DVD library at home. The fact is, I consider loving movies and watching movies to be a big part of my life. So I guess I reject the whole point of this exercise. Still, gave me something to do ona slow afternoon…]