Yesterday over on Facebook, I was tagged by Kelly — better known in these parts as Jaquandor — to do a meme about my life as a geek. I of course complied immediately, because, well, it’s a meme. I’m reposting the results here, with some tweaks to the formatting and a few comments that I’ve reconsidered:

The instructions: Cut-and-paste and mark the things you’ve done with an ‘X’ bold the things you’ve done. (I like bolding better than the X thing.)

• You spent a day watching all of the Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/Star Trek movies.
  Well, sure, back when I had far more disposable time — and, to be honest, a longer attention span — than I do now. Many years ago (longer than I’m comfortable remembering, to be honest), I attended an all-day screening of the original Star Wars trilogy, and then a couple years later, an all-night screening of the same. I definitely enjoyed the daytime experience more — it’s tough to enjoy your favorite movies when you’re fighting to keep your eyes open — although it was kind of cool to nap during Return of the Jedi at the all-nighter. you see, I dropped off just as the rebels arrived on Endor and woke up just when the fleet came out of light speed, thus missing all the boring Ewok village stuff. Score!
  More recently, I’ve had some friends propose watching the LOTR trilogy all in one day, but I honestly don’t have the stamina for that, especially if we were going to use the Extended Editions, which, of course, we’d have to. Being geeks and all. Sadly, I’m an old geek now.

• You spent next two days after watching commentary, outtakes, and behind the scenes footage.
  Um, no, kids, my all-day screenings were done the old-fashioned way, in a movie theater. We didn’t have your fancy DVD extras back then… and we had to walk to the theater, in the snow… uphill both ways!

• And you bought the soundtrack.
• You went to a midnight release of a movie.
  Quite a few, actually. And that’s not even counting the ones I had to attend because I was running the projectors!

• You camped in front of the theater for more than 12 hours to get tickets.
  I waited in lines for the Star Wars prequel trilogy and the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but never more than a couple hours each.

• Camping did not prevent you from being in costume.
• You can have an entire conversation with friends consisting of quotes from your favorite movies.
  Why, can’t you?

• You own at least three game systems.
  I’m not much into gaming.

• You have lost weight because you forgot to eat while trying to reach the next level in your game.
• You own more than four game controllers (of any kind).
• You have existed on three hours of sleep per night so that your “Sims” get eight hours and are refreshed for work.
• You upgraded your computer because you wanted to buy a new video game/expansion pack.
• You have dressed as your game avatar, or as a npc in that game.
• You achieved level 60 on World of Warcraft.
• You have played Dungeons and Dragons or any other RPG.
  I played D&D a couple times back in middle school. I never got into it.

• You know what “RPG” stands for.
  Rocket-propelled grenade, right? Kidding…

• You dressed as your RPG character would dress.
• You own dice with more than six sides.
• You have been accused of having a “gamer” scent.
  I assume this isn’t referring to some kind of cologne…

• You can identify a Black Lotus.
  A what now?

• You can identify a Charizard.
  A whozit?

• You have bought any of the Harry Potter books after standing in line until midnight.
  Yes, the final one. The funny thing is, I hadn’t even read the earlier ones in the series at that point, I just got swept up in the “event mentality.”

• You waited to get your Harry Potter book in costume, quoting favorite lines.
• You have attended any function with “con” in the name.
  Ah, memories.

• You stood in line at said con for more than four hours to have an item signed.
  Uh, no. I’ve stood in autograph lines, but never for so long.

• You spent more than $50 on a costume to wear to a con because you wanted it to be authentic.
• You own more than 50 comics.
  Many more, yes. But not as many as my friend Waylon.

• You collect your comics in longboxes.
  Well, I’ve always preferred the shorter boxes, but they’re the same configuration.

• You know what a “longbox” is.
  That’s kind of implied by the answer above, isn’t it?

• You’ve met and had your comics signed by the creator(s).
• You know how many Robins there are.
  Three, I think — Dick Grayson, Jason whats-his-name that got killed, and the little girl in The Dark Knight Returns — but I’m not sure.

• You know that the portrayal of Rogue in the movie X-Men is completely wrong.
  Wrong, yes, but Anna Paquin looked so very yummy in those long gloves and that hooded trenchcoat thing…

• You have chatted online more than in person.
  With certain people, yes.

• You chatted online enough to learn the time zones.
• You think that when the Mythbusters say “Don’t try this at home,” they really don’t mean YOU.
• You have participated in a movie/tv marathon that involved a drinking game.
  No, but not for lack of good intentions.

• You can sing along with the Buffy musical episode.
• You know Seth Green from more than just the Austin Powers movies.
  Oz!

• You can name all eight Kevin Smith-directed movies without referring to IMdb.
  I find Kevin Smith overrated and frustrating, so, no.

• You have participated in a Clerks-esque discussion about Star Wars (or any other movie).
  And yet I understand what is meant by the Clerks reference. Go figure.

• You have participated in a Kirk vs. Picard discussion.
  I don’t think you could’ve been around the SF scene in the late ’80s without having this discussion.

• You have participated in a Star Wars vs. Star Trek discussion.
  Well, yeah…

• You have participated in a Babylon 5 vs. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine discussion.
• You know who “jms” is.
  (That’d be this guy for the uninitiated.)

• You have ever corrected anyone who called you a Trekkie.
  Nah. I’m fine with the term, and think those who insist on “Trekker” are being pretentious twerps. Maybe it’s a generational thing.

• You have worn a Star Fleet uniform.
• You own a Star Fleet uniform.
  Nope. But I wouldn’t mind having a Colonial Warrior jacket.

• You think Twilight is lame because everyone knows that vampires burst into flame in the sunlight.
  Actually, I think it’s lame because it’s a Mary Sue story built around a twelve-year-old girl’s idea of romance: the heroine thinks of herself as klutzy and unpopular, only everybody in school thinks she’s uber-cool and wants to be her friend, except for that one really cute boy (who isn’t, actually — seriously, am I the only one out there who thinks Robert Pattinson is kind of odd looking?) who ignores her, but that’s only because he’s so crazy for her that he gets physically ill in her presence, and they can never, ever be together because sex is scary, er, he’ll hurt her with his inhuman strength if they try to consummate their overwhelming urges, so he’ll just be her guardian angel and take her home to meet his “family.” Bleah.
  (I need to apologize at this point to my darling Girlfriend, who loves these books and the movie. Sorry, ducks, I’m not trying to be mean… just keep in mind that I’m really not the target audience for this thing, am I?)

• You have written fanfic.
• You have watched Bizzare Foods and thought “I’d try that.”
• You can pinpoint the moment at which Lost jumped the shark.
  Actually, I think the show has been pretty awesome this season.

• You know who Stan Lee is.
• You know who Jack Kirby is.
• You know who Geoff Johns is.
• You have built a website.
  No, but a friend built one for me.

• You have started a blog.
• You maintained a blog for over a year.
  Look about you and despair!

• You know what the Genie SFRT is.
• You have a Twitter account.
  I really don’t get the Twitter thing. I have a blog, I’m on Facebook… what does Twitter have to offer in addition to these?

• You have over 500 followers on Twitter.
• You purchased a smartphone just so you could check Twitter on the road.
• You forget your family members’ birthdays because they aren’t your friends on Facebook.
• You have given virtual gifts on Facebook.
• You have Superpoked your boss on Facebook.
• You have gotten a date through Facebook (and we’re not talking dinner and movie with your buddies).
• You have broken up with someone/been broken up with through Facebook.
• You’ve reached level 30 or higher in Mafia Wars.
• You know what Mafia Wars is.
• You participated in more than three social networks.
  Only two so far.

• You’ve spent more than 200 hours playing the same video game.
  This is one of the reasons I have little interest in gaming — who has that kind of time?

• You’ve seen any movie in the theater more than three times.
• You can name the episode of MST3K where Joel was replaced by Mike.
• You’ve argued why the comic is way superior to the show/movie when discussing The Tick, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, etc.
  I know this is heresy, but in most cases, I prefer the movie version to the comics, usually because I was first exposed to the movie. Or the Saturday morning cartoon, in the case of X-Men.

• You have the soundtrack for Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog on your MP3 player.
  Um, no. It was kind of a fun little experiment and all, but I really don’t want to listen to the songs out of context with the actual video, you know? Same with the Buffy musical. Without the visuals, it’s really kind of annoying.

• You are willing to defend the Star Wars prequels.
  Sure. I don’t love them the way I do the original trilogy, but I really don’t think they’re all that bad, either. They have their pleasures and strong points.

• You openly disparage the Star Wars prequels because they don’t live up to Empire.
• You’re openly concerned about the timeline ramifications that J.J. Abram’s Star Trek movie presents to the canon.
  I’m less troubled by the timeline ramifications than the lack of reasons for doing a Star Trek remake at all, and the apparent transformation of Kirk into an angsty delinquent. But as long as you mentioned the timeline, if you’re going to do a remake, why you wouldn’t just start at square one instead of trying to contrive some reason why this version bears any relationship to the original?

• You own anything written by Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, or H.P. Lovecraft.
  Gaiman and Lovecraft, yes, but I’ve never read Moore. (Yes, it’s true… I have not experienced the glory that apparently is Watchmen. Should I surrender my geek card now or at the end of the day?)

• You have a flying spaghetti monster on your car.
• You’ve seen a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with live actors in front of the screen.
• You know the REAL reason Spider-Man had a black costume.
• You know the NCC numbers of at least two starships other than the Enterprise.
  Not the NCC numbers per se, but I know that Excelsior was the NX-2000 and the (apocryphal, in my opinion) first Enterprise was NX-01.

• You know what “NCC” stands for.
  I used to, but so much has faded with age…

• You own an original Star Trek Concordance, Technical Manual, and Blueprints.
• You own at least two medieval weapons.
  No, only one.

• You have participated in battles with foam-covered swords.
• You know who “Major Matt Mason” is.
  Cool old toys! (And yes, I knew about them without Googling.)

• You have seen bootleg copies of the original Fantastic Four and Justice League movies.
  No, but I’ve heard horror stories about both…

• After having had children you realize there’s now more people to costume and relish it.
• You’ve managed to turn four days at Euroquest* into nearly eight because, who needs sleep?
• You’ve spent more than $1000 on your “spot-on” costume (and it’s still not quite right…).
• You’ve made a fan film.
  In a manner of speaking. Years before the Internet gave rise to what we now think of “fan films,” I appeared in a homebrew Halloween sequel and a Raiders of the Lost Ark parody in which I got the stuffing kicked out of me by a fedora-wearing jackalope…

• Your fan film has been seen by more than your immediate family.
• People know you by your online name instead of your mundane name.
• You know what Pennsic is.
• You’ve camped at Pennsic.
• You have/had personalized plates on your car proudly proclaiming your fandom.
  No, but I have a pretty clever vanity plate in mind if I ever get around to getting it…

• Your spouse and/or friends do as well.
• You yell at your kids when they try to open a toy/book/comic/figure etc. that you’re collecting.
• Your kids have broken your Hallmark collectible Star Trek/Star Wars, etc., ornament.
  I don’t have kids yet, but this is one of my worst nightmares about parenthood…

• You’ve traveled more than 500 miles to attend a con.
  Yep, Salt Lake to Los Angeles, 750 miles.

• You have a tattoo related to your fandom of choice.
• You met your spouse at a fan-related event or con.
• You got engaged (to be married!) at a sci-fi convention.
• You are publicly willing to defend Dollhouse, because Joss Whedon must be trusted.
  Watched the first episode, thought it wasn’t bad, but haven’t felt compelled to watch it again. Make of that what you will…