Monthly Archives: February 2009

Crappity-crap Crap Crap Crap…

So, I met with my tax preparer this morning, and, well, the results weren’t pretty. Let’s just say that if I ever try to offer you financial advice, you’d be wise to simply smile, pat me on the head, and back away slowly.

Afterward, as if I hadn’t been demoralized enough by getting a thorough bitch-slapping from Uncle Sam, I headed over to Fashion Place Mall to buy a belt. I wasn’t looking for anything fancy or wanting to make a statement, I just needed something to hold up my pants. Should’ve been a snap, in and out in ten minutes, right? One would think so. One would be quite wrong.

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2009 Oscars “In Memoriam” Tribute… Now With Less Annoying Camerawork!

For anyone who was annoyed with the way the “in memoriam” montage was handled on this year’s Oscar broadcast, here it is as it should’ve been done on TV, with no annoying cutaways or zooms:

I thought it was nice they included Vampira, who was hardly a big star outside of cult-film circles but was beloved by those who like that sort of thing.

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Ode to a Morning Lost

Have you ever come slightly awake early in the morning — not fully conscious, just somewhat aware of your surroundings — and known that everything is just perfect: The sheets are smooth and soft beneath you, not tangled for a change, the room temperature and ambient light levels are optimal, and you don’t even have the urge to pee. After a moment, you begin to sink back into a deeper layer of sleep, like a U-boat that’s popped up for a look around and is now submerging into the cool, quiet darkness, and you can sense that you’re experiencing the most restful, contented sleep you’ve had in weeks…

And then the bloody alarm clock goes off and sends your heartrate into the stratosphere.

Yeah, that was how I started today. I’ve had a headache ever since.

Sigh.

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Not-Quite-Live Blogging the 2009 Oscars

An acquaintance of mine told me a few days ago that he had no interest in watching the Academy Awards because it was always the same old thing. Or, as he more colorfully described it, “Guy in tux wins something, gives awkward speech; next actor and actress come up and awkwardly recite some boilerplate stuff before announcing next winner. Lather, rinse, repeat.” Another guy I know boycotted the show this year because the nominees “never reflect the tastes of real people.” (He was pissed that The Dark Knight wasn’t up for Best Picture. Little tip for the uninitiated: The Return of the King notwithstanding, science fiction, fantasy, superhero, and horror flicks have no chance of ever winning in the “major” categories. They’re just not taken seriously enough by enough people. I suspect the reason ROTK won was less a recognition of its quality than of the sheer massive effort that went into filming the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. And of course I’ll never forget or forgive tedious and unfunny Annie Hall beating Star Wars back in ’77. Grr.)

Personally, I like the Oscars, even in those years when I haven’t seen many of the nominated films. Actually, I think I might enjoy them a little more when I don’t have a horse in the race, so to speak, because then I’m not feeling competitive and I’m free to simply enjoy the self-indulgent spectacle. That doesn’t mean, of course, that I like every year’s show equally. Some years, they just don’t work very well…

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Nothing Is Original… Especially in the Blogosphere!

I’ve never seen a Jim Jarmusch film, and frankly his stuff doesn’t sound like anything I would enjoy — I never have developed much taste for artsy independent cinema that “breaks many conventions of traditional Hollywood filmmaking”; I happen to like traditional Hollywood conventions, thank you — but I did find the following Jarmusch quote interesting:

Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery — celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to.”

Authenticity as opposed to originality. Makes sense to me. I knew at an early age that much of Star Wars was ripped off from Flash Gordon serials, Dune, and Isaac Asimov’s Foundation stories, and yet somehow those elements recombined into something wholly new and, at least before it became a brand instead of merely a movie, terribly exciting and pleasing.
This quote was happily yoinked from Roberson’s Interminable Ramble… which handily proves the point, if you think about it.

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To My Out-of-State Readers

I imagine by now you’ve probably heard about the latest outrageous remarks spewing from the pie-hole of Utah state senator Chris Buttars, and you may be thinking to yourself, “what the hell is with that place anyhow?” Well, I live in this place, and I don’t get it either.

As far as I’m concerned, Senator Buttars is an ignorant, hateful old son-of-a-bitch who oozes contempt for anyone who isn’t just like him, i.e., white, male, heterosexual, Republican, Mormon,* and dressed by Mr. Mac. I have no doubt that in another time and another place, he would’ve been proud to stand alongside Governor Wallace on the steps of that elementary school. He is an embarrassment to this state and he ought to be an embarrassment to his church, as well, although I know there are quite a few people in both who agree with his opinions but are too polite to phrase them in terms as inflammatory as he likes to use. There’s got to be or else he wouldn’t keep getting elected.

When you’ve spent your entire life in Utah, as I have, nearly 40 years now, it is impossible — or at least highly dishonest — to deny that there’s a deep, ugly wellspring of bigotry flowing beneath this state. It’s directed at many types of people for all kinds of reasons, all of which basically boil down to someone being “different.” But not everyone who calls Utah home drinks from that spring. Not everyone here is afraid of people who don’t look like they were pressed out of some kind of biological cookie-cutter, or who don’t believe the things we do or behave and think in exactly the way we do. It disgusts me that this big-mouthed, belligerent, obstinate asshole keeps drawing national attention to himself and making it look as if his bad attitude is representative of what Utah is all about, even as he tries to portray himself as a misunderstood victim of a liberal press and “mean” special-interest groups. Mean, Buttars? Seems to me that’s a classic case of the pot talking to the proverbial kettle.

This isn’t about the political football issue he’s discussing in the interview that started this brouhaha, gay rights, not really. It’s about a nasty-spirited, awful man who likes to try and hurt people he doesn’t like. You can see it in the video excerpts of that interview, the glitter in his eye when he starts throwing around nasty terms like “pig sex” — a term I’ve never heard before the righteous Mr. Buttars introduced it to me, by the way, and I fancy myself a reasonably worldly guy — he’s itching for a fight, and he’s being deliberately provocative in hopes of getting it. He’s a bully and an ass, as bigots usually are.

Buttars makes me ashamed of my home state, ashamed that this is a place where enough people agree with his thinking to keep voting him into office. But I have to say again, and keep saying it as loudly as I can, that not everyone from Utah is like him.

* Disclaimer: I’ve got nothing against Mormons. As I’ve said before, most of my friends and family are Mormon and they’re good people whom I love, even when I occasionally disagree with them. But a lot of Buttars’ bile is fueled by, or at least informed by, his religious beliefs. I don’t suggest he’s a bigot because he’s Mormon — you can find fearful, close-minded bastards in any particular group — but Mormonism gives shape to his bigotry, and membership in the church is very obviously one of the criteria he uses to judge others, so I consider it fair to mention it here.

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Facebook Meme: 25 Random Things

I kinda hate to admit this, but a while back I finally bowed to the inevitable and allowed myself to assimilated into the Facebook collective — feel free to look me up over there if you’re into that scene.

If you’ve never played there, Facebook has its own version of the memes that drift around the blogosphere, and over the past few weeks I’ve been tagged approximately 432,000 times for one called “25 Random Things About Me.” I’m cross-posting the list I came up with here, for anyone who may be interested. (Long-time readers may already know some of this stuff; it’s not easy to come up with entirely original material all the time…)

Anyhow, meme-age below the fold:

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