Long-time readers of this blog know that one of my favorite local folk heroes is a guy named Melvin Dummar, the blue-collar ne’er-do-well who has claimed for decades that he once gave a lift on a frigid night to a scruffy old man who later turned out to be Howard Hughes. If you’ll recall, Dummar was named as a beneficiary in the infamous “Mormon Will,” which was determined by a 1978 probate court to have been a fraud. Dummar stuck by his story over the years, however, and in 2006, following the publication of a book that backed up his claims and built a convincing case for how the probate trial may have been rigged against him, he tried again to recover the share of Hughes’ fabulous fortune he believes he was promised. He filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court here in Salt Lake, only to have the suit dismissed in 2007 by a judge who sided with the ’78 verdict. Dummar is nothing if not tenacious, though, so he filed an appeal…

And this afternoon he lost yet again when the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver upheld the ’07 dismissal of his suit. I’m ashamed to admit I don’t know much about the court system, but I think he’s probably finished at this point. No more appeals, no way forward.

I’ve said many times before that I’m inclined to believe Dummar’s story — what can I say, I’m a romantic who likes a good story, and I like it even better when the story ends with the little guy winning — so I can’t help but feel sorry for him. Assuming he’s on the level, it must have been hell for him to have lived half his life knowing that a simple act of kindness put him within inches of the biggest brass ring there’s ever been — Hughes was worth billions, and the Mormon Will promised Melvin 1/16th of that, more than enough to turn any average joe into Daddy Warbucks — but forces entirely beyond his control ripped it all away from him. To then compound that loss with the knowledge that much of the public thinks he’s a liar… it’s tragic, really.

Melvin, buddy, if by some chance you ever stumble across my little scribblings here, drop me a line, will you? I can’t do much to help you, but I’d love to buy you a cold one and lend a sympathetic ear…

In case you’re not sure, you can go to hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com for a definitive answer. The site even has an RSS feed so you can get periodic updates through your aggregator.

I don’t know about you, but I feel much better knowing there’s a way to verify at a moment’s notice whether we’re still here. Because sometimes I honestly can’t tell…

So, are you wondering exactly what this Large Hadron Collider doohickey actually does? When it’s not creating black holes that are going to suck us into the Bearded-Spock dimension, that is? Then check out this informative video that was created by Chris Mann, an employee of CERN (that’s the European Organization for Nuclear Research, the scientific group that actually built and operates the LHC):

Pretty fascinating, eh? Of course, everything seems more interesting when it’s narrated in an erudite-sounding British accent. This guy could recite his grocery list and make it sound like the most significant bit of scholarship ever conceived. That’s just one of those curious facts of life…

(Hat tip to Neatorama, my latest morning-coffee read.)

Today is the day scientists in Switzerland activate the Large Hadron Collider, the biggest particle accelerator ever built, which will boost two streams of protons moving in opposite directions to just under the speed of light and then smack ’em together. The goal is to re-create the exotic particles that are theorized to have existed right after the Big Bang, increase our understanding of how all this wonderful stuff around us actually works, and maybe even figure out the Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

You may have heard some scary talk about this thing creating a black hole that will pulverize the earth and rip a hole in the very fabric of space and time. Reliable sources say this is bull. Personally, I’m hoping that if we do get sucked into a parallel dimension, it’ll be one where I’m taller, cooler, and still have a full head of hair.

Of course, it’s possible we’ve already been pulled into another universe. That would explain so many things that have occurred over the last few years…

[Extra credit to the first Loyal Reader who can identify the image above…]