TO: The young lady at the sandwich shop where I purchased lunch today

FROM: The poor schmuck whose only crime is having a pair of eyes and a Y chromosome

SUBJECT: Your impressive assets and the ornamentation thereof

Miss:

When you (a) have been generously endowed by nature; (b) accent said enhancement by wearing a form-fitting t-shirt with a deep scoop neckline; and (c) further call attention to the situation by getting tattoos in the shape of lightning bolts that plunge directly into the middle of your cleavage, please do not become alarmed when you actually receive admiring glances from any men you may encounter in your daily activities.

To wit, our brief encounter when you took my order for a BLT sandwich. I try really hard not to be that guy… you know, the skeezy dude who can carry on a conversation with a woman for ten minutes and never once make eye contact with her. Most of the time, I think I do reasonably well with that. But I am male, and I do like the female form, and, well… you have freakin’ lightning-bolt tattoos on your cleavage, so how is it that I can possibly deserve the dirty look you gave me when I actually had the temerity to follow my hardwired biological imperative and your body-art encouragement to take a little peek? Did you really think no one would check out your bolts this morning when you picked out that particular shirt? And it’s not like I was staring… sheesh. Either lighten up or or buy some regular crew necks, will you?

Regards,

An all-right guy who can’t help but appreciate what’s in the shop window… especially when the window is open…