Monthly Archives: May 2008

Another Noun Becomes a Verb

Oh, boy, here we go again… another perfectly good noun transmogrified into an inelegant verb by the corporate buzz-speakers. From the document I’m proofing at work this afternoon:

“Can you evidence your compliance to… these standards?”

Evidence your compliance? Do you think they mean supply evidence of your compliance?

If you need me for the next few minutes, I’ll be beating my head on a copy of Merriam-Webster’s.

[Update: Huh. According to Merriam-Webster’s, evidence was a verb, once upon a time. Circa 1610, to be precise, when it meant “to offer evidence of : PROVE, EVINCE syn see SHOW.”

Somehow, I doubt that whoever wrote the whitepaper I found the term in knew that, though.]

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Star Trek: The Sexed Generation

This is a little too long, but it’s pretty amusing:

What? I’ve never claimed not to have a dirty mind…

(Actually, this clip makes me want to go back and re-watch The Next Gen, at least the TV episodes. Not the dreary movies. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen any of the TV eps, and I’ve just realized that I kind of miss them…)

Via.

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Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I’ve been saying all along that the only thing I really wanted from this movie was to see some old friends and find out what they’ve been up to for the last 20 years. It’s not that I had low expectations, exactly; I like to think that I had realistic expectations. I wasn’t looking for a transcendent experience, or a return to the happy days of childhood, as I was with the Star Wars prequels. I knew going into Crystal Skull that it wasn’t going to be the second coming of Raiders or even of Temple or Last Crusade; basically, I just hoped the flick wouldn’t be an embarrassing disaster.

After seeing it twice, I am happy to say that it was not a disaster. What it was, exactly, I’m still trying to figure out, so forgive me if the following is something of a ramble.

There are spoilers below the fold, so be careful if you somehow still don’t what this movie is about…

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Guys with Too Much Time on Their Hands

I’m sure you’re dying to know what I thought, so here’s the short version: I liked Crystal Skull well enough, but I didn’t love it. I had some reservations, and some things I wanted to take a couple of days to think about before I posted anything.
While you wait for the longer review — because I know everyone out there in InternetLand is waiting with bated breath for my humble opinion of a movie you’ve probably all seen by now anyway — allow me to entertain you with the following video clip, relayed to me this morning by Brian Greenberg:

People are weird…

Update: Doh! BoingBoing is reporting that this video is a viral marketing campaign from an agency that has the LucasArts games account. And as it so happens, there is an Indiana Jones LEGO game coming out in a couple of weeks to tie in with the release of Crystal Skull. So… it looks like I got taken, kids, used against my will and without my knowledge to spread the word about a product I will see no profit from myself and have no interest in helping to promote. And I have to admit, I’m feeling pretty damn annoyed about that.

In the interest of full disclosure, my own employer has been involved in creating several viral campaigns, but personally, I just don’t “get” this sort of marketing. It seems to me that there’s something sneaky about it, like you’re trying to fool people into listening to a pitch, and very often the pitch is so subtle that the commercial message doesn’t come through anyhow. If you have to really dig into the background of a video clip or a web site to find out there’s something being sold there, how can you say that your message is being effectively delivered? How many people really exert that kind of effort? And isn’t there a potential backlash against the product that’s being advertised when people do realize that that funny clip they’ve been passing around to their friends is just another freakin’ ad? I know I’d feel a little bit scammed and a hell of a lot less charitable toward Product X. Just like I’m feeling right now about freakin’ Lego video games…

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Indy and Me

The funny thing is, I don’t even remember seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark when it first came out. That’s odd for me, because I can recall the circumstances and specific theaters where I saw every other major landmark film of my childhood: the Star Wars trilogy, the early Star Trek films, Superman, Tron, The Black Hole, hell, even Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers. But not Raiders.

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Other Developments While I Was Gone

Oh, and here are a couple of other things that went down while I was back east:

  • One of my co-workers crashed his bicycle on Saturday during a race or a marathon or something and has spent several days in the hospital suffering from a severe concussion.
  • And my corporate overlords started replacing those Flavia coffee machines on every floor with these nifty gadgets from Starbucks that actually grind fresh beans on demand for every cup they brew. I’m not the biggest fan of Starbucks, but my lord, this stuff is such an improvement over that vile “astronaut coffee” I’ve been suffering with for three years. I no longer have to leave the office to get a decent cup o’ joe.
    Of course, the downside is that I no longer have to leave the office to get a decent cup o’ joe… hm.

In any event, you see what happens when you leave town for a couple of days? Good thing I wasn’t gone four days; we’d have cats and dogs living together, mass chaos!

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Requiem for a Dancer

One of the more colorful characters that has populated my life the last couple of years is a guy my co-workers and I dubbed “the Dancing Man.” During the warmer months, he was a regular fixture on the plaza outside my office, out there at lunchtime just about every day, boogeying until his silk shirt was soaked through with sweat. Most days, he brought his own boombox and played an eclectic mix of rock, funk, and stuff I don’t know how to classify. Every couple of weeks, the plaza plays host to a live act as part of Salt Lake’s Brown Bag Concert Series, and he danced to the bands as well, regardless of who they were or what they played, as long as there was a good beat. He had some slick moves and was enjoyable to watch, but he could also be a bit unnerving with his intensity, and the occasional weird vocalization he would make, little shouts and popping noises. It often seemed as if he were in a trance or some other transcendent state of mind when he danced; as silly as it sounds, I was frequently reminded of the voodoo rituals I’ve seen in movies.

The weirdness ran deeper than his tendency to lose himself in the dance, though. Some of my co-workers interviewed him a while back for an in-house film project, figuring they’d just get something fun about a local eccentric. They got more than they bargained for when he started rambling about vampires and evil spirits and how he knew al-Qaeda had infiltrated a Salt Lake grocery chain and was planning to poison our food supply, but he couldn’t get the FBI to listen to him. After that film made the rounds of the office intranet, everyone’s enthusiasm for the Dancing Man cooled a little. We all wondered what his real story was, if he was dangerously nuts or just a guy with some funny ideas about how the world works.

Sunday afternoon, while I was in Pittsburgh, the Dancing Man — whose real name was Douglas Cottrell — was killed following a harrowing high-speed run from the police. The case has everyone a little baffled, because he wasn’t wanted for anything serious; the officers just wanted to speak to him about a complaint made by someone who claimed that they’d paid Cottrell to do a job and he’d blown off doing it. It appears that he deliberately rammed his car into a semi-truck after racing up and down Parley’s Canyon a couple of times with the cops in pursuit. According to his sister, Cottrell has suffered from schizophrenia most of his life, which no doubt explains his paranoid beliefs about terrorists in the produce section. It maybe also explains his devotion to his lunchtime ritual; maybe he only felt free when he was dancing.

I didn’t know Doug Cottrell as anything other than a funny bit of scenery in my daily routine. But I hope that wherever he is now, there’s a really smokin’ band and that he’s got a good pair of shoes. I can’t speak for everyone else around work, but I, for one, am going to miss his performances…

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The Vagaries of Junk Mail

Back in my pre-online days, I bought a lot of books via good old-fashioned mail-order catalogs, and even though this habit ended long ago, I still get quite a few book-related mailings in my daily allotment of recycling fodder. Sometimes this can lead to situations that I find perversely amusing. Yesterday, for example, I received a flyer advertising a new biography of the late president of the LDS Church, Gordon B. Hinckley. This on the same day that I also received a fat, full-color catalog from a company that specializes in, among other things, volumes of pin-up art and nude photography.

I can’t imagine what my poor mail carrier must think…

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Today’s the Day!

Even as I type this, Dr. Jones is cracking his ratty old whip in theaters across the land and reviews are generally (thankfully) positive. Due to a cruel twist of fate, however, I won’t be seeing it until tomorrow night, so all you folks out there who’ve already been just hold your tongues around me, okay? Okay!

In the meantime, let’s all get in the mood with this catchy little ditty:

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