Courtesy of SamuraiFrog via Byzantium’s Shores, it’s — you guessed it! — another pointless meme!

1. Have you ever had mono? Nope. I don’t kiss around.
2. The last place you were (besides now)? The lobby of my office building.
3. The last gift you received? Hm. Well, technically I haven’t received it yet, but I happen to know The Girlfriend has bought me a DVD of the delightful old film comedy Topper for Valentine’s Day. (I was there at the time, and there was only one copy so she couldn’t pass it up.)
4. How many times a day do you drop your mobile phone? I try to avoid dropping delicate and expensive electronic toys. As opposed to the sturdy, cheap ones.
5. The top three things you spend the most money on? Food, gas, and rent, same as everybody else.
6. Last food you ate? A ham sandwich, with a slice of locally made Swiss cheese. Quite lovely.
7. First thing you notice about the opposite sex? Hair. No, really. My eyes may quickly wander to points south of the hair, but I honestly do start with the hair.
8. The school you attend? The School of Hard Knocks? Seriously, I graduated from the University of Utah 16 years ago and don’t anticipate going back…
9. Your mobile phone provider? The one that sends me a bill every month.
10. Favorite store that’s usually in a mall? Hot Topic. Not that I ever buy anything there, I just like laughing at the would-be Goths and the retro punks who think they’re so totally alternative, never realizing that their parents invented all that stuff and The Man co-opted it so he could sell it back to our kids.
11. What’s the longest job you have ever had? Meaning my longest period of consecutive employment with the same company, as opposed to the longest I’ve worked in the same field? That would probably be my first “real” job, working at the old Cinemark movie theater. I spent five years there, first as an usher, then a projectionist, then finally a rabble-rouser fighting against The Man. Not the same Man that runs Hot Topic; another Man. But still The Man. Anyway…
    I did spend five years or so working at my last company, but for a good part of the last couple of years, I was laid off and just doing occasional contract jobs for them as projects came up. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have put up with that, at least not for as long as I did, but live and learn, I guess.
12. What do you smell like? Hm. I don’t know… Old Spice Red Zone anti-perspirant, I suppose (I think I use the “Pure Sport” scent, whatever that’s supposed to smell like).
13. The biggest lie you’ve ever heard? “Mission accomplished.”
14. The last time you cried was because why? Because Will Smith’s character landed that big job in The Pursuit of Happyness. (To anyone who hasn’t seen the film yet, sorry for the spoiler, but c’mon, it’s a Hollywood movie! Of course he triumphs in the end!)
15. In your opinion, do long distance relationships work? No. And that’s not my opinion, that’s my experience. They spectacularly do not work, and indeed start to fail within only a couple of weeks.
16. Do you drink coffee? Yes.
17. What do you wanna say to your most recent ex? I haven’t seen her in probably ten years or so, so I don’t think I have much to say at all to her at this point.
18. Do you believe in God? I am officially undecided on that point. Let’s just say it’s a question that I don’t spend a lot of time on.
19. Favorite color(s)? Red and black.
20. The last person on your missed calls list on your mobile phone? I believe that would be Cranky Robert.
21. How many pillows do you usually sleep with? Two. One under the head, one to hold.
22. What are you wearing now? Levi’s 501s and a long-sleeved button-down (snap-down?) shirt.
23. How many pets do you own? One, I suppose, if you count my part-time cat, although I tend to think of him more as an occasional visitor rather than an actual pet. Same with Shadow, the Bennion Family Border Collie. He actually lives with my parents and just comes by to see me once in a while.
24. What are you doing tomorrow? The same thing I do everyday, Pinky, try to take over the world!
25. Can you play ping pong? I guess so. I haven’t attempted it in many years.
26. Favorite gender? Depends on how you define “favorite.” There are things you do with one that you don’t with the other, and vice versa.
27. Do you like maps? Sure. Globes are cooler, though.
28. Have you ever attended a themed party? Yes, several. Last Halloween, for example, my friends The Usual Suspects had a Star Wars costume party. It’s pretty tough to drink through a stormtrooper helmet, FYI…
29. Have you ever thrown a party? Nothing more elaborate than having another couple over for dinner. I can’t take the stress of trying to be a good host.
30. When did you wake up this morning? 6:52.
31. The best thing about winter? The first clear day after a snowstorm.
32. Last time you were in trouble with the cops? I got a speeding ticket about five years ago.
33. What are your plans for this weekend? The same thing I do every weekend, Pinky… oh, wait, I already did that one, didn’t I? I don’t know… try to sort through some of the clutter on my desk, maybe.
34. How many days is it until your birthday? 216
35. What do you want to be when you “grow up”? I’ll get back to you on that one.
36. Are you on a laptop? No.
37. Are you smiling? Not really, no.
38. Do you miss someone right now? No, not really.
39. Are you happy? I am neither happy nor unhappy at the moment. I’m at work.
40. Have you ever been in the hospital for an emergency? Yes, but not for a problem with me. I’ve taken The Girlfriend in a couple of times for this weird phantom pain thing she sometimes gets. The first time it happened, we thought she was having a heart attack, but whatever it is, it’s nothing to do with her heart…
41. Last time you ate chicken? I don’t know, last week some time?
42. What jewelry are you wearing? Only a cheap wristwatch.
43. What are you going to do after this survey? I guess I ought to do some actual work.
44. Song you’re listening to? None.
45. The car you were in last? My Mustang. Unless you count the train car that carried me downtown from the park ‘n’ ride lot.
46. What color shirt are you wearing? It’s kind of a plaid pattern — mostly tan, with some brown and aqua. Only not as gross as that probably sounds.
47. How long is your hair? Below my shoulders in back. Pretty much non-existent on top. Yes, I’m one of those pathetic guys who compensates for thinning hair by growing a ponytail. Sorry if that offends your aesthetic.
48. What’s on your mind right now? This survey. Duh.
49. Last show you watched? The Today Show as I was getting ready for work.
50. Last thing you drank? Plain ordinary water.
51. Who was hotter, Ginger or Mary Ann? Mary Ann, without question. I’ve never been one for the overly made-up, phony glamour-girl thing. Besides, Ginger’s the sort who’d play with your head and break your heart (or at least leave you frustrated), and who needs that?