Winter Freakin’ Wonderland My Frost-Bitten Butt!

Heading in to work, January 2008

If you’re going to be happy living in Utah, you’ve got to like — or at least be able to tolerate — winter weather. After all, this is the home of “The Greatest Snow on Earth™,” as our ski-and-tourism industry likes to say. (I understand other states with ski industries will argue that point; hey, that’s marketing!) And the truth is, I do like the wintertime, for the most part. As I’ve said before, there are few things as beautiful as our local mountains after a fresh snowfall. And I like wearing jackets and coats just fine.

However, it seems like there are three or four weeks every year when various geographical and meteorological factors gang up on Salt Lake, and the temperatures drop to levels more appropriate for Siberia or the planet Hoth or something. We’re in the middle of one of those cold snaps right now, and I seem to be less and less tolerant of them with each passing year. I’ve got the long underwear and the sweaters and the scarf, and I’ve even been wearing a stocking cap on my poor old balding head while sitting at my desk in the drafty New Proofreaders’ Cave, and I’m still chilly, and it sucks large round rocks.
I know, wah wah wah, nobody like a whiner. But you just have to express these things once in a while, for your own psychic health.

The last couple of nights, standing on the platform after work waiting on my train home has been miserable enough that I’m thinking of investing in an outfit like the ones Chevy and Dan are wearing in the poster above. What does everybody think? Are fur coats prime for a comeback?

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8 comments on “Winter Freakin’ Wonderland My Frost-Bitten Butt!

  1. steph

    Beautiful. I think I may do the same. Here at good ‘ol AMEX they think winter is summer and summer is winter, so the temp inside the building is pretty much the same as outside. In fact, today I’m wearing two shirts, a sweatshirt, and a blanket. Hmmmmmm.

  2. jason

    Sounds like fun… in my case, I work in a beautiful old vintage building that has (in my room anyway) the authentic old windows… which are single-pane, with no insulation and old cracked weather caulking around the frames. Oh, and just to make things more interesting, after we complained every day for about two weeks, somebody finally inspected those windows and found that one of them is jammed open about an inch, so we’ve been getting a draft all this time. They filled it in with that expanding foam insulation stuff and put some plastic sheeting over the glass (it’s kind of like saran wrap, only a little thicker), and that helped, but it’s still a chilly old brick pile. That’s what I get for working in one of the cool old downtown buildings, I guess…

  3. Ann Vallier

    Fur is better worn on the inside to keep your body warmth trapped. Even better yet is sheep fleece inside and fur outside. Just beware of PETA.
    Mmmm – roasty toasty

  4. jason

    PETA has obviously never suffered through one of these bouts with “arctic temperatures.”
    It’s warmer today, thank god. Of course, I’ve got about eight inches of snow and it’s still coming down. Everything’s a compromise…

  5. Amber

    I’m just fine with the weather. I don’t know why: usually, I’m freezing when this happens each year. But this year the weather hasn’t touched me. Dave, on the other hand, is freezing just like you. Maybe it’s a guy thing. *smiles sweetly*
    But seriously…. The truly weird thing is that while I have yet to be cold when outside this year, I freeze at work. It’s between about 62 and 64 year round, but for some reason it feels like 10 during the winter. I have two space heaters going in my office right now.
    I would understand if the sun were shining outside. The sun just makes you feel warmer. But it isn’t. I’m warm outside even when the sun isn’t making an appearance. But inside I’m a people-sicle. Why the hezmana is that? Why does the fact that it is cold outside make it feel colder inside, even when the weather outside doesn’t seem to touch me when I’m in it?

  6. jason

    You probably get cold at work because you’re just sitting at your desk, not moving around much and thus not generating much in the way of heat. 62 degrees is comfortable if you’re exerting yourself, but if you just sit more or less still for eight hours, it sinks into your bones…

  7. Amber

    Well, duh. You know, that could well be. If I had to sit outside at a desk for 8+ hours every day I’d probably be pretty darned cold—if not a corpse-icle.
    Now I think I’ll go and lament for the next several hours the fact that I’m perpetually chained to my desk…. At least I won’t be thinking about the fact that I’m cold.

  8. jason

    🙂