Monthly Archives: January 2008

The Latest THX Trailer

Back in my days of working at the multiplex, Lucasfilm’s THX sound-system standard was still something of a novelty, at least in these parts, and to a bunch of teenaged and early-20s ushers, it was a Very Big Deal indeed. We were proud of the fact that our theater — Cinemark’s Sandy Movies 7, later called Movies 9 — was the first in the state to earn that coveted certification. I remember many debates about which of THX’s iconic trailers was coolest — I’ve always preferred the basic “Broadway” one, although the recent “Moo-Can” trailer amuses me — but I think this one probably has them all beat:

It’s kind of a creepy little animal, actually… what the hell is it? Anyone?

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Putting a Bullet Through the Brain of the CleanFlicks Zombie

Today’s amusing item from behind the Zion Curtain takes a bit of set-up, but the payoff is utterly delicious. Bear with me on this.

The first thing you need to know is that many observant LDS people have a general policy of avoiding R-rated films. Their religion counsels them to eschew profanity and depictions of sex and violence on moral grounds, and since R-rated movies usually tend to have copious amounts of these things, such movies automatically go on the “do not see” list. While I can respect the moral stand taken by these anti-R Mormons, I personally think they miss out on a lot of good movies — good both in the sense of entertaining, but also frequently in the sense of good art. (I think it’s very difficult to intelligently explore many areas of the human condition without including profanity and sex, because life is just like that. I do find, however, that the constant use of the F-word in some flicks gets pretty tiresome. I’ve always said that I don’t mind profanity in my dialogue, but I hate it when it is the dialogue.) Still, it’s their choice to make, and I support their right to make it. And anyway, I much prefer that people who are offended by certain content simply not watch that content, rather than attempting to enforce any form of censorship that would prevent me from watching it.

A few years ago, a Utah entrepeneur named Daniel Thompson apparently thought anti-R Mormons were missing out on a lot of good movies, too, so he came up with a novel idea: he started a video sales-and-rental business called CleanFlicks, which offered popular R-rated movies with the offensive bits cut out so as to suit the sensibilities of the niche market he was targeting. A good idea, on the face of it. There was only one problem: Thompson and his staff were the ones doing the editing. They didn’t have permission from the Hollywood studios that owned the films, and they didn’t have any kind of input from the writers and directors who created those movies.

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Today’s Dose of Copywriting Brilliance

“…the convergence of business and technology has fundamentally changed the way businesses and government are doing business.”

You know what that sentence needs? The word “business.” Really, I think it’s a vital concept that’s noticeably missing. Surely the writer could shoe-horn that in somewhere?

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President Bush’s Final State of the Union Address

I really don’t have much to say about the speech — what I heard of it sounded like the same old stuff — I just enjoy typing the phrase “President Bush’s final State of the Union address.”

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Gordon B. Hinckley

Gordon B. Hinckley, the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whom Mormons believe to be a true prophet of God in the same sense as all those guys you read about in the Bible, died last night at the age of 97.

For anyone reading this who doesn’t already know, I am not a member of the LDS Church, even though I was born and raised at Ground Zero for the Church — the Salt Lake Valley — and most of my family and friends are Mormon. I didn’t revere President Hinckley, and I personally don’t believe he was a literal prophet. However, I did respect him as a human being, and I do believe he was a good, kind-hearted man with a refreshing sense of humor about himself and his religion.

Speaking as a self-identified outsider, many of the Church authorities come across as, well, less than friendly to people like me. They often have an air of unshakable smugness, as if there is absolutely no question of their superiority over the misguided gentiles of the world. (Yes, Mormons refer to non-Mormons as “gentiles,” a fact that greatly amuses the Jews of my acquaintance. And no, I’m not saying that the Church authorities I speak of actually believe themselves superior, only that they give that impression. There is a difference, and I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.)

President Hinckley was different. He had a way of disarming defensive heathens like myself. Partly it was his willingness to laugh instead of taking offense when someone poked fun at the Church. (See local humor columnist Robert Kirby’s elegy for an example.) But it was more than that. He appeared to genuinely care about the beliefs and opinions of people who weren’t exactly like him. He always projected absolute certainty in the correctness of his own beliefs, but he wasn’t dismissive or contemptuous of those who didn’t happen to share those beliefs. That’s a trait a lot of people could stand to learn.

I know Mormons tend to have close emotional ties to their leaders, even when they don’t know them personally. My friends Cheno and Steve both speak from this perspective in their blog entries on this event. To them and anyone else who is mourning President Hinckley today, I’m very sorry for your loss.

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Johnny Depp Rocks

Hard to believe now, but there was a time, a very long time ago, when I couldn’t stand Johnny Depp. I thought he was a no-talent pretty boy with greasy, stupid-looking hair and lousy taste in clothes. Of course, a lot of this enmity probably stemmed from the way my girlfriend at the time got all dewy every time she saw a commercial for 21 Jump Street. You see, I was painfully aware of how very, very un-Depp-like I was — I was much more along the lines of his Jump Street co-star Peter DeLuise in build, style, and attitude — and, well, teenage males of the species have a tendency to turn jealousy into hostility, often with a layer of homophobia for good effect. That’s why I denounced all the members of Duran Duran as “fags” (even though I wasn’t exactly clear on what a fag was, or why it was so bad to be one), and that’s why I really hated Johnny Depp. (Don’t even get me started on Richard Greico and his shaved eyebrows!)

I was perfectly content with my Johnny-Depp-sucks paradigm. No, really, it was working for me. But then he had to go and star in Edward Scissorhands, which was directed by the guy who made Batman so you know I just had to see it, and wouldn’t you know it, Depp was actually pretty good in it, damn him. And then he just kept making movies I liked, or at least movies in which I liked him. He wasn’t afraid to choose roles that made him look weird or unsavory or unsympathetic or wussy, and I could respect that. And he could actually act, too, and he proved it by trying not to do the same type of role twice, which, again, I really respected. And gradually, movie by movie, performance by performance, he wore me down. (To tell the truth, it really didn’t take that long; breaking up with that girl who made me feel second-best to a TV character accelerated the process considerably, and by the time Ed Wood opened in ’94, I was, if not an actual Depp fan, at least comfortable saying I wanted to see his new movie.)

These days, post-Pirates, I’m fully recovered from my adolescent insecurity and Johnny Depp now holds a high position on my short-list of favorite actors. And you know what? The more I learn about what he’s like off-screen, the more I think he probably ought to be on my short-list of favorite people, too, because he strikes me as one damn cool cat. For instance, did you hear the story of how he donated a million pounds to the hospital where his daughter was treated a year ago for a potentially fatal case of E. coli? And this was after inviting five of the doctors and nurses from the hospital — I presume they were the ones who actually treated his little girl — to the London premiere of Sweeney Todd (which he’d been working on when she got sick). And then — and here’s the part that really impressed me — he quietly spent four hours at the hospital in character and full costume as Captain Jack Sparrow, reading stories to sick kids. There were no news cameras or paparazzi around, and the event doesn’t seem to have been widely reported; it wasn’t about getting some good PR in advance of the next big film opening. It was just a kindly thing to do in an attempt to show some gratitude.

These days when so many of the people in the public eye seem hell-bent on behaving as outrageously as possible, it’s so refreshing to hear about a wealthy celebrity performing a simple little act of human decency.

Via.

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Fire and Ice

By now, all my local readers have probably heard about the big news from last night, a four-alarm fire that gutted the building that used to house the old Club DV8. I never went to DV8 myself — dance clubs were never my scene, and those that played so-called “alternative” music even less so — but the place was an institution here in these parts for a very long time, and I’m sure there are a lot of folks along the Wasatch tonight mourning its loss. (The club has actually been closed and the building vacant for several years, but all the signage was still in place, and I understand there was hope that it might reopen eventually.)

My office is only a couple of blocks from the site of the fire; there was a thick pall of smoke hanging in the air when I stepped off the train this morning, as well as a rank odor like a freshly doused campfire. Just what we needed, I thought, as if the air quality isn’t lousy enough this time of year. I expected the smell would go away as the day wore on, but when it was seemed to intensify this afternoon around 2 PM, I got curious. It took only a few minutes to walk to the scene, where it turned out the building was still on fire, or it had flared up again, and a plume of brown gunk was boiling up into the sky. It was actually a pretty fascinating spectacle: the building’s roof had fallen in, so in between gusts of smoke I could see blue sky through the windows, and the lower floor was encased in dollops of dirty gray ice built up from the firemen’s sprays the night before. A demolition crew stood ready nearby with a backhoe and a wrecking ball as a pumper truck moved into position and trained its water cannon on the stubborn fire, while, across the street, the sidewalk in front of the Salt Palace Convention Center was packed with TV-news cameramen and gawkers like me. I wish I’d thought to take my camera to work with me today. I could’ve gotten some cool documentary shots.

The smoke was drifting southeast, directly back to the block where I work. I can still smell it in my clothes as I type this. The working theory is that the fire was started by a transient or a squatter in the building who was trying to keep warm, but we’ll never know for sure; the building was declared unsafe and the remnants of it knocked down late this afternoon, with no substantial investigation beforehand. If it was a transient, I hope the poor bastard got out.

As I said, I have no sentiment about Club DV8, but I do regret the loss of another of Salt Lake’s antique buildings. I don’t know when this one was constructed, but judging from the brick facings and the ornamental work up near the eaves, I’d guess sometime in the early 1900s. There are precious few buildings of that vintage left in the downtown area, and seeing the burnt-out husk easily toppled by the wrecking ball on TV tonight brought a lump to my throat. I imagine some developer will probably jump at the chance to fill in the empty lot with a soulless glass box…

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Promise Unfulfilled

I have to be honest, when I heard Heath Ledger had died of a drug overdose, my automatic assumption was that it was either (a) a deliberate suicide, or (b) a sordid Belushi-esque adventure with an illegal street high. Now it’s looking more and more like it was merely an accident with prescription meds, and somehow that’s even more pathetic than the thought of him nodding off forever with a needle in his arm. At least that would’ve been a “cool” death, “cool” in the sense of “the stupid and miserable thing that celebrities do, but at least he’ll live on in infamy as a warning to others.” Just mixing the wrong meds or taking one too many Seconal tabs, though… that’s mundane, isn’t it? I don’t know… my feelings about that don’t make a lot of sense even to me. I guess I’m hoping that I can sort them out by burning a few more electrons on the subject. Hope I’m not boring you all.

In any event, Piper at Lazy Eye Theatre made a few remarks that I find worth repeating:

It’s not uncommon for us to feel more connected with famous people. We identify them with the characters they play and it’s only natural that we think that a little bit of them comes out in each performance. So based on his movies, I liked Heath Ledger. Maybe he was an asshole, maybe he was a very nice man. Maybe he was the most humble actor to ever walk the face of this earth. I don’t know, but I do know that Heath showed promise and that’s enough. Promise cut down in its prime is truly tragic. And now in his absence, I am forced to imagine what could have been.

As I said the other day, I think Heath Ledger might have been one of the greats, in time. It’s the same thing I thought when River Phoenix died, that he could’ve been so much and won’t ever get the chance to do anything more than what he’s already done. That’s almost unutterably sad. I feel bad when one of the old-timers I’ve loved my entire life passes on, but at least they had their runs. The young ones, though… their deaths just suck.

Oh, and so do idiots who picket funerals because they think their religious beliefs (read: bigotry against all things homosexual, including a straight actor who just happened to play a gay man in a high-profile movie) gives them license to behave like disrespectful asshats. That’s real Christian behavior, guys…

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She’s a Modern Day Delilah

I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to current music — in the time-honored tradition of grumpy old farts throughout history, I tend to think it all went to hell after my teen and young-adult years — but every once in a while, a song comes along that’s so ubiquitous, it manages to penetrate even my indifference. There was such a song last summer, a sweet and catchy little ditty that I quite liked called “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White T’s.

I found out today that there really is a Delilah, specifically a young lady named Delilah DiCrescenzo. Tom Higgenson, the lead singer for the Plain White T’s, met her several years ago and, in an effort to impress her, he promised to write a song for her. She had a boyfriend, so their romance went nowhere, but he nevertheless kept his promise. The song became the band’s break-out hit and has been nominated for a Grammy. And Delilah is finally going to go out with him, as his date for the Grammy ceremony. She still has a boyfriend so they’re going strictly as friends, but even with that little imperfection, I find this story simply charming. It’d make a good plot for a movie, actually…

Details are here, if you’re interested. And I’ll give a Stan Lee-style “no-prize” to the first loyal reader who can tell me where this entry’s title derives from…

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Presenting SpaceShipTwo

Rutan and Branson's SpaceShipTwo mated to the White Knight 2 launch plane.

At the Natural History Museum in New York City this morning, gazillionaire Richard Branson and aeronautical engineer Burt Rutan have just unveiled the design for SpaceShipTwo, the follow-up to Rutan’s X-Prize-winning SpaceShipOne, which, you may remember, was the first privately built, manned, and reusable vehicle to reach outer space. That’s a photo of the new spacecraft up there, slung between the twin fuselages of the White Knight 2 launch vehicle that will carry it aloft; click to embiggen and have a good, close look at the future. The White Knight 2 is said to have the same wingspan as a B-29 bomber, while SpaceShipTwo is large enough for passengers to get up and walk around during their suborbital tourist flights. The dual vehicle will fly for Branson’s Virgin Galactic and there are reportedly already 100 wanna-be astronauts on the waiting list.

It’s unlikely the fares for this thing will ever drop low enough for anyone other than venture capitalists and trust-fund babies to take a ride, but it’s still pretty exciting. Even as we’re reading that government-funded manned space missions may never happen, the private sector is forging ahead with its eyes on the stars. We may get there yet. If nothing else, this vehicle could open up the possibility of fast sub-orbital passenger flights around the world. Imagine flying from Los Angeles to Sydney in only a couple of hours (or less) instead of the better part of two days…

Further details here.

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