Via Jaquandor, I found this weird Internet quiz that tells you which tarot card best represents you. I have little interest in tarot myself — fortune-telling, ouija boards, and all that “occult” stuff that generated so much hysteria in these parts back in my high-school days have always struck me as eye-rollingly silly — but I’m always up for a time-wasting Internet quiz-thing. So, here we go:

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really “Satan” at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild – or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I’m sure this result would come as to no surprise to the parents of several young ladies I used to date…