So, if you weren’t following along in the comments, the correct answer to yesterday’s “pop quiz” — i.e., what do the groups ZZ Top, The Pretenders, and The Stray Cats have in common? — was provided by our esteemed webmaster Jack: those three bands all performed Wednesday night at West Valley City’s Usana Amphitheater, and The Girlfriend and I were there for what seems to be turning into an annual tradition for us, namely, seeing one multiple-act, ’80s-nostalgia outdoor concert per year. (Last year’s entry in this category was Journey and Def Leppard, if you’ll recall.)

I was pretty enthusiastic for this show, although it did strike me as a really strange line-up. When I first heard about it, the only thing I could think of that these bands had in common was that they all had hit songs in the year 1983. (That would be the three tunes whose videos I posted yesterday: “(She’s) Sexy + 17” by The Stray Cats, “Back on the Chain Gang” by The Pretenders, and “Gimme All Your Lovin'” by ZZ Top.) The more I pondered it, though, the more I realized that it was actually brilliant programming; there was something for everyone! You had the good-time retro rockabilly of The Cats for the neo-swing hipster crowd; the punk-influenced “modern” sound of The Pretenders for the aging New Wavers-turned-suburbanites (easy to spot in their madras shorts and polo shirts); and down-and-dirty, bluesy Tex-Mex rock and roll of ZZ for the former (and current) mulletheads. Guess which category I fall into?

(A quick aside: back when ZZ Top was in the midst of their MTV glory, my best friends were a couple of guys named Chad Skinner and Kurt Stephensen. Somewhere in my high-school freshman yearbook, there is a photo of the band in their “Sharp Dressed Man” finery, and someone — I think it was Kurt, but I no longer remember for sure — wrote in our names beside each of the ZZ guys. Chad, being blond and a little more tailored in his appearance, was equated to Frank Beard, the band’s drummer who, ironically enough, is the one member of the band who does not have a beard. Kurt and I were the two front men with the outlandish appearance that everyone thinks of when you mention the Little Ol’ Trio from Texas.

Another quick aside, just to further embarrass myself by demonstrating the depths of my fanboy lameness: the three well-known ZZ videos that feature the Eliminator hot rod — the aforementioned “Gimme All Your Lovin'”, “Sharp Dressed Man,” and “Legs” — also prominently display a custom silver keychain in the shape of the band’s double-Z logo. That keychain serves as a near-magical talisman for the young men in those videos, unlocking the guys’ self-confidence and — most importantly — their ability to score. I myself picked up one of those keychains when I saw the band back in ’86; it’s been attached to the keys for my beloved old Ford Galaxie ever since. As to whether it ever had any impact on my ability to score, well, I’ll leave that to your imagination.)

Remembering the traffic nightmare we encountered last year on the way to the Def Lep show (which, as you may recall, caused us to miss much of Journey’s set), Anne and I tried a different route this time, driving way out to the Bacchus Highway on the far western edge of the valley so we could approach the amphitheater from the back side. It worked like a charm; unlike last year, we were able to park within a mile of the entrance and made it through the gates with plenty of time before the main show began.

The Cats took the stage first for a high-energy set of eight or nine songs that naturally included their three best-known hits: “Sexy + 17,” “Stray Cat Strut,” and “Rock This Town.” I understand that this is the first time the original members of the band have toured together since the ’80s; you’d never have known it, though, from the way they played off one another with the easy familiarity of old friends and the enthusiasm of men half their age. I went to this show to see the Top, but to be perfectly honest, I think The Cats put on the best performance of the evening. Anne, who was mostly interested in seeing this group, was not disappointed.

Next up was The Pretenders, a band that neither Anne nor I were too crazy about back in the day. Although they played very well, and Chrissie Hynde’s voice still sounds exactly the way it did 25 years ago (she still looks pretty much the same, too, rail-thin despite having at least one child that I know of), their 40-minute performance Wednesday gave us no reason to re-evaluate our opinions. The Girlfriend and I both find their music boring, to be honest; it’s just not our cuppa. And it didn’t help when Hynde decided to climb up on her soap box and deliver a little harangue about animal rights, either. I suppose the fans of activist bands like The Pretenders or U2 find that sort of thing admirable and heroic, but it annoys the hell out of me. Look, I’m all for reforming our industrial farm industry, which I agree is genuinely disgusting, and for treating our animals humanely, but the truth is, I like wearing leather and eating meat, and every time some concerned rock star interrupts a show to preach at me — whether it’s about the joys of eating vegetables, or the need to help Africans pay off their debts (yes, Bono, you pretentious twerp, I’m talking to you) — I find myself exponentially less interested in their cause than I was five minutes earlier. Chrissie Hynde’s remarks did nothing more for my conscience than make me want to sink my teeth into a big greasy cheeseburger. Look, I get enough of politics on the InterWeb; I don’t want it in my music, okay? At least they played “Brass in Pocket,” which I’ve always thought was a nifty little song, despite not caring for the rest for the band’s oeuvre.

Moving on to the evening’s main attraction (at least for me), ZZ Top surprised me on several counts. For one thing, their playlist included a lot of their older, more blues-oriented songs from the pre-Elimantor days, including “Waiting for a Bus/Jesus Just Left Chicago,” “Blue Jean Blues,” “Just Got Paid,” and even a blistering cover of the old Hendrix classic “Foxy Lady,” all of which was fine by me but left some more casual-fan types in the audience (like my darling Girlfriend, for instance) visibly feeling a little lost. Also, their performance was curiously workmanlike — not bad, not sloppy or disengaged, just not as spectacular as I remember them being in 1986. Maybe it’s because they’re getting older — ZZ’s been around for nearly 40 years now, as hard as that it to imagine, and the guys have got to be in the neighborhood of 60 — or maybe it’s because I’m older and not as wrapped up in the whole rock-and-roll experience as I used to be. The production design probably had something to do with it, too. Back in ’86, when they were on the Afterburner tour and still solidly in their MTV phase, there were lasers and smoke and an elaborate stage set-up that included a giant King Tut head wearing wraparound shades (don’t ask; that thing no doubt came from the same overheated zeitgeist that inspired Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge set). This time around, there were projected light effects on a scrim behind them, and chaser lights on their mike stands, but that was about it. They did haul out those infamous furry guitars for “Legs,” and bits of the three music videos that shot them to fame in the MTV days were shown on the scrim and amplifier stacks while they played the accompanying songs, but in general the special effects were pretty low-key.

The oddest thing, however, was they way they kept ending most of their songs. Granted, in the recorded versions, ZZ Top has veerrrry long fade-outs, but on Wednesday night it was like they were just saying to each other, “And we’ll stop playing… NOW!” It was very disconcerting to be lost in the moment, singing or air-guitaring along, and all of a sudden get cut off. Musicus interruptus.

These nitpicks aside, however, ZZ showed us a good time, and the late-in-the-show triple-shot of their Eliminator-era hits followed by a rousing medley that began with “La Grange” and ended with “Tush” left everybody’s heart pumping as the concert ended.

One final note: I was surprised and somewhat disheartened to see a lot of empty seats in the reserved section, and even the usually jam-packed lawn seating area was much less crowded than usual. I suspect there are two explanations for this. One is the cost. Tickets prices for this one seemed really high; Anne and I probably wouldn’t have gone if not for a one-day promotional deal that enabled us to pick up tickets for about $12 a piece (talk about an ’80s flashback!). The other problem, I believe, is that the promoters couldn’t figure out how to advertise three bands so diverse in their sound. Which radio station do you even approach? I remember radio back in the ’80s being much more diverse than it is now, and it wasn’t unusual to hear The Stray Cats, The Pretenders, and ZZ Top all on the same station; these days, however, ZZ is confined to the classic rock station, The Pretenders have been classified as “modern music” (something of a misnomer, considering that what we used to call “modern” is now 20-30 years old), and The Cats… well, I don’t know who plays them anymore. Maybe some cities have an ’80s station; we don’t here in Salt Lake. I don’t know if there is a solution to either of these problems, but I hope somebody thinks of one before the next big nostalgia tour comes through…