Sorry for the crass title, but that episode of South Park so perfectly encapsulated Paris Hilton’s low character in that one vulgar phrase that I have a difficult time thinking of her in any other terms.

Anyhow, I’ve been trying to work up the dudgeon to comment on the media circus that accompanied her release from jail last night — you’d have thought it was the biggest damn movie premiere in the history of moving pictures, the way EntertainmentExtraAccessTonight was so breathlessly talking about it — but I just can’t seem to summon the words I need to adequately convey my disgust with the media, with the SSW’s stupid fanbase for idolizing this vacuous waste of protoplasm, and even with my own inability to leave this story alone while being fully aware that I’m giving the little twit exactly what she craves: attention. (oh, the hurtful prick of irony!) So I’ll borrow someone else’s observations instead, and let them stand in as reasonably close facsimiles of my own thoughts:

Phil Spector is on trial for murder but nobody notices. The newspapers have been filled with reports that Paris served more time than 80 percent of people accused of similar crimes. They fail to take into account that Paris was pulled over three times. That she was swerving. That she had a signed statement saying she knew she was not allowed to drive. That she failed to show up to mandatory classes. The judges have discretion in these cases for a reason. Paris had flagrantly flouted the law. Several days ago she called Barbara Walters at 2 in the morning, 11 at night West Coast time. Nobody seems to think that’s strange. A call to Barbara Walters at 11 at night from a prison cell.
The jail holds 2,200 people. It is full to capacity. There are only eight medical beds. Paris has occupied one of them almost the entire time.

 

…we shudder and complain about the attention Paris Hilton gets but we talk about her just the same, sometimes in quiet and disparaging tones. We talk about her more than we talk about Iraq and often we talk about how we talk about Paris Hilton when we should be talking about the war in Iraq.

 

But we don’t.

Food for thought, kids. That’s all I’m sayin’…