I don’t know if this is widely known outside the Zion Curtain, but the Dark Lord himself, Vice President Dick Cheney, has been invited to give this year’s commencement address at Brigham Young University in a few weeks. BYU (or “The Y,” as it’s more commonly known in these parts) is, of course, the most conservative college in Utah, possible even in the country. It’s so conservative that male students aren’t even allowed to wear beards.

(True story: I actually applied to the Y back in my pre-bearded days. I was conditionally accepted pending a letter of recommendation from my spiritual leader. Smart-ass that I am, I was tempted to forge a letter in fractured English and sign it, “Yoda, Jedi-Master of Dagobah,” but ultimately I decided it wasn’t worth the trouble, and anyway I didn’t want to go to a school that would forbid me from dressing like Sonny Crockett. [I was very big into Miami Vice at the time, and had this thing about muscle shirts, not shaving for four days at a stretch, and going sockless, all big no-nos at the Y.])
As conservative as the school is, however, there are protests planned to coincide with Darth Cheney’s visit. But I don’t think it’s necessary to dwell on the fact that even BYU students think the man is nasty and hateful. I think we should instead concentrate on the really important matters:

…the question remains whether Cheney will get an honorary degree. And, if so, what would it be? International diplomacy? Public Relations? Energy Policy? Environmental Science?

Enquiring minds want to know!