The death of Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Spears’ decision to emulate Sinead O’Connor’s coiffure (or lack thereof) have pushed whacko astronaut Lisa Nowak out of the media spotlight, so I thought I’d pass along the word that she has entered a plea of “not guilty” to the charge of attempted murder.
Just doing my part to help out those poor, overworked tabloid writers…
[Update: In a related story, it seems that NASA has contigency plans for what to do if an astronaut wigs out while in space. It’s pretty interesting… it involves duct tape, bungee cords, and forced administration of drugs. Just as I’ve always imagined. Oh, all right, I’ve always imagined that you’d just stun the nutbar with a phaser, but since NASA doesn’t have phasers…]
Duct tape, bungee cords, drugs . . . isn’t that just what Nowak is accused of trying to use against her space-lover?
Where do you think she got the idea?
Do you think that if NASA had phasers, we’d have Phaser Control laws? What about a Phaser Control Advocacy group? The National Phaser Association (motto: You can have my phaser when pry it from my cold, dead fingers)?
Just imagine the challenges of investigating phaser-related crimes… no bodies!