I think I’ve mentioned before that I didn’t really care for the Matrix films. I didn’t hate them or anything — I found the first one sufficiently entertaining to warrant seeing the sequels — but I sure didn’t understand why everyone and their dogs made such a big fuss over them. They really weren’t all that smart, or they weren’t even all that crowd-pleasing, when you think about it. But my lukewarm resistance to the bullet-time bandwagon is nothing compared to the feelings of some folks out there in InternetLand. Courtesy of Byzantium’s Shores, here are 50 Reasons to Reject The Matrix. The list presupposes that you actually remember the details of the three films, which, I must admit, I do not — I couldn’t tell you who the Seraph is if you paid me — but I did recall the subjects of this priceless passage:

Reloaded Ridiculousness, 2
The machines added two new enemies for Neo in Reloaded, called the Twins. Their first priority is to blend discreetly into the simulated world of the Matrix, to walk among the people unnoticed. So of course the Matrix made them huge albino men with bleach-white dreadlocks who occasionally transform into shrieking wraiths.

 

“What’s that, honey?”

 

“Oh, nothing. It just looks like a simple Kung-Fu Swedish Rastafarian Helldemon. I’m sure there’s no need to question our fragile, sheltered grasp of ‘reality’ as we know it.”