I have to be honest, I’m not a big fan of Christmas music. Actually, I’m one of those grinchy-scroogey curmudgeons that develops an uncontrollable shoulder-cringe and a twitchy eyelid every year right around November 1st — which is, not coincidentally, the same day that FM100, our local “lite hits” station, begins its two-month-long all-Christmas, all-the-time format. Now, you may wonder why this affects me in the least since I don’t actually listen to FM100. It’s the principle of the thing; just knowing that there’s a radio station here in the valley that’s pumping out not just one but two whole months of every imaginable recording of “Jingle Bells”… well, it just gets to me. Especially if I have to call The Girlfriend at work and spend any time at all on hold, because her employer’s hold music is, you guessed it, provided by FM100. Gack.
I think it’s the constant, unrelenting tidal-wave effect that really does it. If the Christmas music was spread out, just a song here and there with regular music in between, maybe I could handle it. But as it is, if you find yourself exposed to it, whether on some company’s hold-music feed or trapped in a department store somewhere, it just goes on and on and on until you want to strangle the nearest elf with a popcorn-string and then pour curdled eggnog into his open, staring eyes. I find almost the entire genre completely and utterly annoying. Almost. There is a small handful of Christmas songs that I do kinda, sorta like. Because, hey, even I am not immune from sentiment and warm childhood memories and all that crap. So, for your ongoing edification on that most important of all subjects — my personal tastes — here are Bennion’s Favorite Christmas Songs, complete with a little video treat at the end…
[A couple of quick notes before I well and truly begin: (1) I’m not religious, so I tend to be utterly indifferent to songs about mangers, shepherds, and The True Meaning of Christmas™. Exception: “Silent Night,” but that’s more because I like the peaceful, contemplative mood of the song than anything in the lyrics. (2) I dislike the overly “joyous” tunes, for the most part, because the joy and happiness stuff always seems phony to me. Or scary, like the singers want me to join their cult or something. (3) I despise the novelty tunes. Never-never-never-never-ever play for me “The Chipmunk Song,” the barking dogs, “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth,” “Nuttin’ for Christmas,” or — most especially — that damn “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” tune. Arg. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is negotiable, depending on the version. Oh, and I hate “Silver Bells” and whatever that ring-ting-a-ling-a-ling one is, too.]
In no particular order:
- “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon
The “War is Over” part is a little too hippy-dippy-Summer-of-Lovey for my tastes, but the wistful, melancholy tone at the beginning is simply beautiful. Love the opening lines, too: “And so this is Christmas/And what have you done?/Another year older/A new one’s just begun.” Those lines almost perfectly captures my emotional state around this time of the year. - “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” sung by Crystal Gayle
There are a lot of versions of this one floating around, and most of them are impossibly sappy. But the long-haired country singer Crystal Gayle, an artist I grew up listening to because my mother loved her, taps into the genuine heartbreak at the core of the song that other artists either don’t see or can’t access. Hers is the only version I think I honestly like. - “The Christmas Song” by Nat King Cole
Possibly the most perfect secular holiday song ever written. Again, I like it because of the mood it generates, the quiet warmth that the season is supposed to have, instead of the brassy, plasticky, slightly hysterical quality it has acquired in recent years. - “Christmas is the Time to Say ‘I Love You'” by Billy Squier
I’ll forgive you if you’ve never heard this one, or of Billy Squier. An early ’80s “metal lite” Christmas tune wasn’t exactly destined to become a timeless classic, and it’s hardly a deep or especially meaningful song. But it is catchy and sentimental, and it brings me instantly back to a particular moment in my life that I don’t realize I miss so much until I revisit it. - “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby
Another classic that’s hard to hate because it’s so damn perfect. And yes, it’s melancholy, too. I sense a motif… - “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”
I have no particular favorite recording of this song, I just like it. I think most people have forgotten that it originated during the depths of World War II, a little factoid that deeply enhanced my appreciation of it. I find it all too easy to imagine a scared nineteen-year-old kid, huddled in a fox hole somewhere on a bitter-cold night, wondering if he’d ever make it home for another holiday season, dreaming of a warm hearth, a cup of ‘nog, and his best girl at his side. Yeah, there’s that motif again… I’m probably revealing some dark inner corner of psyche here. - “Let It Snow”
Here’s a change of pace, a bubbly little tune about staying inside and seeing what develops between a man and a woman while the world outside goes all soft and silent. I don’t think this one technically qualifies as a Christmas song, since it has nothing specifically to do with the holiday season, but it’s been adopted into the playlists for this time of year, so I suppose that makes it official. It’s also the closing-title theme from Die Hard, which gives it instant cred in my book. - “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” by Bruce Springsteen
And finally, the only “cute” song on my list, Springsteen’s live recording of “Santa Claus.” I’m not overly fond of this song on general terms, but The Boss and his E-Street boys are having such fun with it that it’s impossible not to enjoy it. Yeah, I know, it got played to death on the classic-rock stations in the ’80s, but so what? Bruce throws his soul into it, the way he does with everything he records, and when he starts chuckling midway through, he’s so genuine I just can’t help but laugh along with him. So you see? I’m not really all sadness and gloom…
And now, here’s that treat I mentioned, courtesy of the incredibly useful YouTube. It’s a video clip of Bruce performing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” I’d never seen this before yesterday afternoon, and have no idea what the original source is, but I love it:
