Monthly Archives: September 2006

Disgusted

My concept of America formed early and was gathered largely from old black-and-white movies, Schoolhouse Rock cartoons, and, yes, Star Trek, which despite all the lip service about a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, and multi-species crew projected a largely American (specifically JFK’s “New Frontier” America) sense of identity. And while I never subscribed to the jingoistic “we’re number one” mantra that so many of my classmates seemed to reflexively utter whenever news of some international dispute managed to filter down to our grade-school consciousnesses, I always understood that Americans were the good guys. I may not have quite believed in the concept of American exceptionalism, but I did believe that our country was respected in the world and, more importantly, worthy of respect, not because we were superior human beings who were inherently better than everyone else, but because we chose not to do the kinds of nasty shit that other nations did. Like Captain Kirk choosing to spare the helpless Gorn, who would surely have killed him, the Americans of my understanding struggled to rise above our brutal natures, to find a better, more humane way of doing things.

That meant we didn’t send our own people to Siberia for speaking their minds. We didn’t persecute people because of their religion or lack thereof. We didn’t invade and take over other countries in order to expand our own territory or influence. We tried to help the rest of the world, not just ourselves. We cared if innocent blood was unavoidably shed. And we most certainly did not, under any circumstances, torture people.

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Mistaken Identity

Interesting… yesterday, I read that a man named Paul Vance, who wrote the obnoxious 1960 novelty tune “Itsy-Bitsy Teenie-Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini,” had died. Today, however, I see that the report wasn’t true:

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The Dark Days of Trek

In celebration of Star Trek‘s 40th anniversary and relaunch in all-new computer-generated semi-glory, Lileks has applied his humorous cudgel to the less-than-inspiring efforts to keep the franchise alive during the mid-70s. This was the period between the cancellation of the series and its big-screen rebirth in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, when fans really didn’t think the show would ever return and, presumably, they’d take whatever crappy souvenirs of their beloved obsession they could get. I remember seeing most of these ads in my old comic books. They looked pretty lame to me when I was a kid; they look really bad now.

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John Scalzi is a Strange, Strange Man…

From the Department of Generally Amusing Stuff Discovered at Random While Avoiding My First Work Assignment of the Day: Scalzi bakes a Schadenfreude pie. Just to see what it tastes like. And he includes pictures. With amusing captions, even. It’s the perfect compliment for your morning cup o’ joe, so take a coffee break and go get yourself a slice…

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The Stinky Bookstore, and My Latest Aquisition

I just spent my lunch hour browsing an intriguing little dive of a book shop called Utah Book and Magazine, better known among the bibliophiles at my place of employment as “the stinky bookstore around the corner.” The place is one of the last remaining examples in these parts of the sort of half-assed, stuffed-to-the-rafters, semi-amateur used-book emporiums that I loved to frequent in my younger days — most of my other college-era haunts have gone out of business or, in the case of Sam Weller’s, have gentrified and cleaned themselves up in order to compete with the big national chain stores. But not Utah Book and Magazine, whose owner isn’t overly fussy about condition and will buy damn near anything. The shelves in this place are 12 feet high, creaking under the weight of everything from vintage pulps to well-thumbed nudie mags to last week’s best sellers, now running at reaminder-table prices. And you can get more than reading material at the stinky bookstore, too: you can buy an ice-cold beverage from a ’60-vintage Pepsi machine or a Big Hunk candy bar from a countertop display. Shove the candy bars to one side and you might find an antique straight razor, a Charlie McCarthy doll, or a dummy hand grenade for sale inside the counter’s display case. The only drawback to the place is, as you may have gathered, the peculiar funk that fills the air. It’s less like the scent of old paper (which I quite like) than the, ahem, strong aroma of some of the neighborhood bums.

In any event, I can’t set foot in that hole without buying something, and today I picked up a novel with such an unlikely (and charmingly ungainly) title that I wanted to share:

Adventures: Being a Stirring Chronicle of Intrigue, Romance, Danger, Hairbreadth Escapes, and Thrilling Triumphs over Fierce Beasts and Fiercer Men in the Mysterious and Exotic Dark Continent, as Recounted by the Daring, Resourceful, Handsome, and Modest Christian Gentleman Who Experienced Them

Ah, how I would’ve swooned at such a title when I was a boy…

Incidentally, I’ve been adding to my LibraryThing catalog whenever I’ve managed to find the time. I still have several banker’s boxes to go, but with the addition of today’s purchase from the stinky bookstore, I’m up to 919 titles…

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An Interesting Question

Film critic Sean Means of the Salt Lake Tribune asks an interesting question while commenting on the weekend box-office victory of that instant classic, Jackass Number Two:

One of those attending [Jackass Number Two] was a coworker here at the Tribune, who was stunned by the amount of anal-related humor and the movie’s undercurrent of homoeroticism. Apparently Mr. Knoxville and Co. think it’s really, really funny to have objects inserted in people’s butts.
And still the question persists: Why did Larry Miller’s theaters – all four of them – find this movie suitable for its customers, but not “Brokeback Mountain”?

Miller, you may recall, had Brokeback pulled from the schedule of his Megaplex Theater chain when he found out it was about gay cowboys.

You ask a lot of questions like this when you live in Utah…

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There Are Obsessions and Then There Are Obsessions

People get into their hobbies. I understand that, really, I do. But this takes the cake: it seems some crazy French Ferrari enthusiast spent 15 years constructing an exact 1:3 scale model of his favorite car. And when I say “exact,” I mean exact:

This 12-cylinder engine just isn’t any 12-cylinder engine, it is a 1:3 scale Ferrari 12-cylinder engine with the same beautiful sound. It took Pierre six months of running the engine on his own dynamometer to tune the header pipes so they would give off the same sound value as he had recorded from the engine of the real car. Once Pierre had the engine bolted together for the first time, it started on the very first try and, since then, has logged more than fifty hours of running time with no failures or refusals to start (It’s probably more reliable than the real engine).

I suddenly feel strangely… inadequate.

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Awesome Photos of the Shuttle and Station

How’s about we start the day with a little jolt of wonder:

Shuttle and ISS

That’s the space shuttle Atlantis pulling away from the International Space Station. Cool enough on its own, but what makes this so wondrous is that the photo was taken from the ground and that it’s a shot of the two spacecraft transiting in front of the sun. Here’s the complete image:

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My New Theme Song

Weird Al‘s new song is called “White and Nerdy.” After my last three four entries, I’m afraid that it applies all too well to yours truly. Here’s the video for you to enjoy while I go somewhere and hang my head in shame:

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