Monthly Archives: December 2005

Dec092005

Put in Our Place

Ever wonder where you fit into the Big Picture? Well, now we have a pretty good idea:

Whereever you go, there you are.

Using a network of radio telescopes spread across the globe, astronomers have determined that the distance from our solar system to the nearest spiral arm of the galaxy (we’re in the gap between two arms) is 1.95 plus or minus 0.04 kiloparsecs, or about 36,000,000,000,000,000 miles. That’s a pretty long trip, even at “point-five past lightspeed.” Just a little something to think about on this chilly Friday morning…

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Dec082005

Christina Robin?

Several of the bloggers I read daily are in a snit this afternoon because of news that the creatively bankrupt suits at the Disney Channel have decided to make Christopher Robin into a girl in an upcoming Winnie the Pooh TV series. The spokesperson for this astoundingly lame decision says that, “these timeless characters really needed a breath of fresh air,” and the new series is not an “abandonment of an old, familiar world, but rather an alternate universe for Pooh and his crew.”
Uh-huh. Alternate universe. Gotcha.

This is the sort of boneheaded, focus-group-driven nonsense that made the otherwise mediocre movie Office Space into a monster cult hit.

Here’s a sampling of how people are reacting to this “breath of fresh air”:

Continue Reading…

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Dec082005

Chenopup Joins Us in South Park

The title of this entry is pretty self-explanatory. Here’s yet another of those uncanny South Park-ized versions of my friends:

 

Hmm, looks like a film studies teacher.

Again, I have no photo of Cheno handy for comparisons. Sorry. However, it looks pretty good to me, and Cheno himself says the only thing this little guy is missing is “a really tired, ragged look (how I feel).” Maybe the next version of South Park Studio will give us the option for “fatigued.”

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Dec082005

The Slow Decline of Our National Memory

I didn’t even realize that yesterday was Pearl Harbor Day until late in the evening when I caught part of a locally produced documentary about the experience of Utahns during World War II. Like the anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s assassination, it seems like Americans are not making as big a deal over this date as we used to. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention yesterday, but I really didn’t hear much background noise about the Day That Will Live in Infamy. There were a couple of articles in the Trib, but no big fold-out maps, no front-page photos, nothing splashy or eye-catching as in years past. No primetime TV specials, either, and only a cursory mention on the 10 o’clock news. Perhaps, as I proposed in regards to JFK’s death, the country is finally moving on. After all, the Greatest Generation is fast dying out, there seems to be nothing new to say about the event that began its war, and, perhaps most significantly, we have a new, more recent national tragedy to commemorate. As cold as it may sound to the older folks who are still among us, I’m willing to bet more Americans these days care about and feel a connection to the events of September 11, 2001, than December 7, 1941, or even November 22, 1963.

Continue Reading…

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Dec082005

What Would You Ask the President?

There’s an interesting (if rather “bullet-pointy”) interview in the Boston Globe today with Mike Wallace, the 87-year-old bulldog reporter that nervous CEOs don’t want to see waiting in their lobbies when the arrive for work in the morning. His trademark bluntness is on full display here, especially when it comes to the current President Bush:

Q. President George W. Bush has declined to be interviewed by you. What would you ask him if you had the chance?

 

A. What in the world prepared you to be the commander in chief of the largest superpower in the world? In your background, Mr. President, you apparently were incurious. You didn’t want to travel. You knew very little about the military. . . . The governor of Texas doesn’t have the kind of power that some governors have. . . . Why do you think they nominated you? . . . Do you think that has anything to do with the fact that the country is so [expletive] up?

That’s a 60 Minutes segment I’d definitely tune in to see. Unfortunately, given this president’s aversion to appearing before any but the most supportive audience, I think it’ll probably happen about the same time Wallace gets Jim Morrison to sit down with him and chat about what life in the Phantom Zone with Jimmy Hoffa is really like.

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Dec072005

Wax Off

By now, I’m sure everybody has probably heard about the death of actor Pat Morita over Thanksgiving weekend. The standard obits all highlight his role as the noble sensei Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid, which I guess is appropriate since that film was such a huge pop-cultural landmark, especially for anyone who came of age during the ’80s. (Come on, admit it: all of us ’80s-kids experimented with Daniel-san‘s flying crane kick, didn’t we? Or at least fanatasized about using it against those jerks who mocked us in gym class. Or am I revealing way too much about my own pathetic history?)

Oddly enough, however, the roles that come to my mind when I think of Morita are all smaller and more obscure.

Continue Reading…

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Dec072005

Another Resident of South Park

Another Simple Tricks reader and personal friend of mine has had a go at the South Park Studio program I linked to a couple weeks back. Mike Gillilan, whom I’ve known since our mutual good ol’ days at the movie theater, sent me his new avatar last night. Unfortunately, I don’t have a photo in the gallery for people who don’t know him to compare this to, but trust me, it’s a pretty good likeness:

Yep, that's Gillilan.

If you want to review, my South Park-ian alter ego is here; The Girlfriend and Cranky Robert are here. This is getting to be pretty fun — soon everyone in my life will be looking like foul-mouthed cartoon children, bwa ha ha!

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Dec072005

Gingerbread in Seattle

A couple years ago, The Girlfriend and I thought it would be fun to build a gingerbread house together. Yes, I do know what a disturbingly sappy mental picture that forms, redolent of the nostalgic nonsense parents like to tell their children about the simple pleasures of their ancient youth. But it really was fun, and the project actually turned out fairly well. Our walls stood, our frosting icicles were properly proportioned to the house and appropriately delicate-looking, and our gumdrop bushes were delicious, er, that is, they looked nice. The only thing that didn’t quite work as we’d hoped was our frosting snowman, which refused to stand upright and ended up slumped over and rather tired-looking, like it was the end of the season and he was just about to succumb to the warming sun. (We dubbed him Melty and, oddly enough, grew so attached to his pathetic, blobby little form that we saved him after the house itself was gone; he now sits on a little shelf in Anne’s kitchen.)

As proud as we were of our one-room gingerbread shack, however, it was nothing compared to the amazing exhibition of baked-good architecture that was recently chronicled by a Seattle blogger named Jeff Barr. The exhibition was a benefit for the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation; I think my favorite among these gingerbread landscapes is the recreation of London’s Tower Bridge. Go check it out!

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Dec062005

Bridge to Nowhere

I’ve been meaning to post this item for several days, but I keep getting distracted by other topics. Today, however, is quiet at work and snowy outside, and nothing much has caught my eye during my ‘net wanderings, so let’s take care of some older business, shall we?

One of my Three Loyal Readers, the irrepressible Chenopup, has sent word of an interesting new tourist attraction now taking shape on the western rim of the Grand Canyon: a cantilevered glass Skywalk extending out over the edge of the canyon itself. Part of a visitor’s center located on the Hualapai Nation Indian reservation, the Skywalk is a U-shaped observation deck that will enable tourists to take a scenic stroll some 4000 feet above the canyon’s floor. An artist’s conception can be seen here.

You know, it’s funny. I hate going up on the roof of my old single-story bungalow to hang Christmas lights — I always have this horrible, Vertigo-esque picture in my mind of falling backwards off the eaves, arms windmilling crazily as I drop flat on my back onto the concrete driveway below — but I love all those tall, tourist-attraction observation decks. One of my fondest memories is standing on the roof of the gone-but-not-forgotten World Trade Center, with the wind in my face and the entire world at my feet. For the record, I’ve also been atop the Empire State Building, the pedastal of the Statue of Liberty (the wait to reach the crown was 90 minutes the day I was there, an untenable proposition in New York’s horrible summertime heat and humidity), and various European churches and cathedrals. I’d like to someday go up in the Gateway Arch, the Space Needle, the Eiffel Tower, of course, and the Petronas Towers. Hell, I’d even be up for hiking the Sydney Harbour bridge. But I suspect I’ll probably make it to the Grand Canyon Skywalk much sooner.

Incidentally, the Hualapai are also building an authentic Indian village near the Skywalk and its visitor center, which will host cultural performances and the like, and visitors can also have a “true Western experience” with Wild West performances, open-fire cookouts, and horseback riding at the Hualapai Ranch. It all sounds incredibly touristy, and absolutely fabulous, and it’s all supposed to be open for business in January. Road trip!

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Dec062005

Contrary to the Word of Wisdom…

It was only about 19 degrees this morning when I left for work. As I stood on the TRAX platform, shivering and waiting for my train to arrive, I reflected that this must be what it feels like to be a TV dinner that’s been in the freezer since 1998, the kind that has a thick fur of ice crystals covering the salisbury steak. I couldn’t wait to hit the coffee machine when I reached the office. Naturally, I was only interested in its warming properties — well, okay, the caffeine hit was calling to me as well — but according to an interesting article I just ran across, there are other good reasons to have a nice cup o’ joe on a cold morning:

Researchers at the University of Scranton found that a cup of coffee is the number one source of antioxidants in the U.S. diet. “Nothing else comes close,” said study leader and chemist Joe Vinson. “One to two cups a day appear to be beneficial.”

 

Beer came in second. Potatoes were a strong third.

And for those of you who don’t like coffee, the same article contains good news for you, too:

Research led by Cornell University’s Chang Yong Lee found that hot cocoa, on a per-serving basis, has four to five times more antioxidants than black tea, two to three times more than green tea, and almost two times more than red wine.

 

“A cup or two of hot cocoa every once in a while can provide a delicious, warm and healthy way to obtain more antioxidants,” Lee said.

So much for the local culture’s prohibition against hot beverages…

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