I received the following via e-mail this morning. It may or may not be all that funny, but given the week I’ve been having at work as my project managers try to push everything on their agendas through the mill before our Christmas break, I find that any little bit of levity is outlandishly effective. In other words, I laughed hard at this, so I thought I’d share:

Instructions on how to clean your toilet:

 

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

 

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

 

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

 

4. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

 

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power-wash” and rinse”.

 

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

 

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can,and quickly lift both lids.

 

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

 

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

 

Sincerely,
The Dog

[Ed. note: Simple Tricks and Nonsense does not condone or endorse animal cruelty, not even to animals of the feline persuasion. We here at Simple Tricks, despite being dog owners ourselves, are frequently baffled by the extreme enmity shown toward cats, a hostility that seems ungrounded and, curiously, has no corresponding equivalent directed towards canines. It just doesn’t make sense that people hate cats so much. What did cats ever do to you? It’s not like they ever bother to come around, or acknowledge your presence or anything. That said, the mental image of a “self-agitating” cat is pretty damn funny, don’t you think?]