Monthly Archives: December 2005

The Bureaucratic Mentality Vs. My Mother’s Trumpet Vine

At the conclusion of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Dr. McCoy remarks that the bureaucratic mentality is the only constant in the universe. It’s taken me years to completely figure out what he meant, but I think I finally get it. What old Bones is saying is that the world is filled with small-minded, mid-level-management types whose only purpose in life is to squash the unorthodox and ensure that everyone does everything “by the book.” These gray-skinned, unimaginative little beings live and die by their rules, their time clocks, and their almighty god, Procedure. Their thought processes are inflexible and binary in nature; they think in terms of black and white, on or off, one way or the other. They abhor the idea of a third possibility or an exception to the rules because it overloads their limited minds and interferes with their hardwired purpose, which is to use what little power they’ve been granted by the greater beings above them to enforce their mindless and impersonal regulations.

So, you’re wondering, what’s got ol’ Bennion riled up today? Nothing, except being awakened by the raspy buzz of a chainsaw, which was busily mutilating this wonder of nature:

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Misc. Trek-related Items

Like I said yesterday, I’ve got a whole mess of topics I’ve wanted to write about but haven’t gotten around to because of various distractions (like work — curse the necessity of having a job, anyhow!) Unfortunately, some of these things are pretty old news by now.

For instance, you’ve probably already heard that George Takei, the actor who played Sulu on the original Star Trek, is gay. I don’t have much to say about that, except that it certainly does explain a few things.

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Meme of Fours

My employer has generously given me the week off, so between now and New Year’s, I hope to clear the decks around here by blogging about a whole mess of topics and links that I’ve been gathering over the past few weeks.

First up is another of those list-style memes I occasionally run across, this one based around the number four. For your post-Christmas, Monday-morning amusement, I present the following bits of trivial information about yours truly:

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Another Christmas Story

It was unseasonably warm in Salt Lake yesterday, more like the first of April than the end of December. I was walking around downtown with my coat unzipped and sweat gathering beneath my arms. I wished I’d worn a lighter jacket; still, the sunshine was a pleasant change from the fog and bitter cold of the last couple weeks.

My company’s Christmas luncheon had wrapped up about a half-hour earlier. I imagined most of my co-workers were already miles away from the city center, eager to finish their last-minute shopping, or to get home so they could start enjoying their holiday plans. I, on the other hand, felt no desire to be anywhere in particular. I didn’t feel like going home, and I sure as hell didn’t want to go anywhere near the malls. As for getting started on the holidays… well, the truth is that I’ve been pretty indifferent toward the Christmas season this year. It all seemed to come up too fast, like a squall materializing out of a clear sky to ruin a nice day’s sailing.

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Handy Household Tip

I received the following via e-mail this morning. It may or may not be all that funny, but given the week I’ve been having at work as my project managers try to push everything on their agendas through the mill before our Christmas break, I find that any little bit of levity is outlandishly effective. In other words, I laughed hard at this, so I thought I’d share:

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A Little Thought Exercise

Ponder if you will the following quotes:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

–Amendment IV, U.S. Constitution

[President] Bush said he approved [wiretapping without a court warrant] “because it enables us to move faster and quicker. We’ve got to be fast on our feet.

 

“It is legal to do so. I swore to uphold the laws. Legal authority is derived from the Constitution,” he added.

“Bush Says NSA Surveillance Necessary, Legal”, The Washington Post

Interesting, don’t you think?

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Last-Minute Lego-licious Gift Idea!

Still haven’t found that perfect gift for your favorite Simple Trick and Nonsense blogger? Might I suggest a one-of-a-kind eight-foot replica of a Republic attack cruiser (as seen in Revenge of the Sith) made entirely out of Legos?


It's Lego-licious!

This astounding model was created with some 35,000 Lego bricks by a “Lego Master Builder” — what a job title, eh? — named Erik Varszegi. It has appeared at a number of large geek-gatherings, including Star Wars Celebration III and the legendary San Diego Comic-Con, and it’s currently up for auction on eBay. Last time I checked, the bid price was a mere $24,006.99. All of the money from the final bid will go to Habitat for Humanity’s hurricane relief project, so come on, make a gesture of friendship to yours truly and contribute to a good cause. Maybe I’ll even let you come over and admire it sometime…

All kidding aside, this thing fascinates me. I am simply astounded by the accuracy of this model; I had no idea you could build something so “realistic” out of Legos. Everything I ever attempted to build with them as a kid inevitably ended up as a cube, or a rectangular obelisk or something, so I can’t help but be impressed by any Lego sculpture that actually looks like something.

In case you didn’t know, you can click on the photo above to see a larger version. You might also want to check out this interview with Varszegi, which includes lots more photos along with the details of how this model was constructed. It’s almost as complex as the special-effects miniatures built for the original trilogy!

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Media Play Was the First

Huh, this is interesting: according to an article in yesterday’s Trib about the Media Play situation, MP was one of the first specialized big-box stores (as opposed to more generalized big-boxes like WalMart and K-Mart) to arrive in Utah, preceding Best Buy, Circuit City, and Barnes and Noble. I either didn’t realize that, or had forgotten it. Big-boxes are so common these days, it’s hard to remember the way the landscape used to be without them.

And here’s another little factoid: the first MP opened here in Novemeber 1993. It seems like they’ve been here a lot longer than that, and now I find myself struggling to remember where I used to go for all my media needs. I used to buy CDs at a locally-owned shop (now unfortunately defunct) called Tom-Tom Music, but I’ll be damned if I can remember where I bought my movies — Fred Meyer, maybe. Which, by the way, was acquired not too long ago by the Smith’s grocery-store chain and became Smith’s Marketplace, a move which did not impress yours truly. But come to think of it, a lot of the Fred Meyer stores used to be Grand Central stores back in the ’80s, before they were bought out themselves, and I didn’t care much for that change either. I remember that my friend Keith had a theory at the time that communists were attempting to demoralize we Americans by buying up all of our familiar stores and giving them new, lame-sounding names. And so it goes in the land of corporate takeovers and brutal retail attrition. I only wish someone knew what to do with the big empty buildings after the businesses fold, instead of leaving them to rot…

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Media Play Closing

I’m hardly an advocate for national chains and big-box stores, but I have to admit that I’m pretty bummed about the impending demise of Media Play. I learned that the book, music, and video stores are going out of business when I dropped into the West Valley City location yesterday to do a little Christmas shopping and saw big red clearance-sale posters everywhere. (FYI: if you live near a Media Play, everything in the store is currently 20-40% off, and those prices will no doubt drop even lower as the final day approaches.) I’ve spent a lot of money at these stores over the last ten or fifteen years; a sizable chunk of my extensive VHS and DVD collections came from there, and not a few of my toys and collectibles, too. In recent years, I’ve increasingly done my movie-and-music shopping online, which makes me as culpable for the chain’s failure as any other factor. However, on the occasions when I do visit a brick-and-mortar retailer, I prefer Media Play to any of the other options here in the Salt Lake Valley. Media Play’s biggest local competitor, Best Buy, may have lower prices, but their DVD selection is consistently inferior; they usually stock hundreds of copies of the hot new releases, but it’s tough to find even a single example of the older films and offbeat stuff I’m often looking for.

In addition, I don’t care for the atmosphere inside Best Buy stores. The tall alleyways in the movie section are claustrophobic, and some idiot is always volume-testing the stereos with the most annoying music he can find. These stores are very much designed for the hip, young, and attention-deficit-disordered among us, with lots of flashy, shiny things that I imagine are designed to overstimulate the senses to the point where you don’t notice your wallet flying open. Or something. I guess I’m showing my age, because I’m far more comfortable with Media Play’s lower-key approach, their bright, clean lighting, and their chest-high display bins that let you gaze out over a sea of merchandise to the other side of the store, if you wish. It’s an atmosphere that encourages browsing, and The Girlfriend and I have often enjoyed a pleasant hour of wandering in between dinner and the beginning of our movies. The clamor-and-din of Best Buy, on the other hand, makes me want to run in, grab some specific item, then get the hell out. I guess this is just one more thing for me to gripe about when I start boring the kids about all the ways that life used to be better when I was their age.

For the record, all 61 Media Play stores will be closed by late January, displacing some 2000 employees in 18 states. Happy New Year, people.

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