Monthly Archives: August 2005

What the Hell Happened to Sophistication?

I’ve been planning to write something about the recent death of TV news anchorman Peter Jennings, but I obviously haven’t gotten around to it yet. My plan was to follow my usual obituary schtick and be simultaneously nostalgic and curmudgeonly as I discussed how Jennings’ passing marks the end of an era, which was, of course, a better time than our current Dark Age of debased superficiality. But it looks like someone has already beaten me to that angle:

…it seems certain that, at least stylistically, Jennings will have no heir. News managers today aren’t looking to hire Cary Grant, the man of distinction; they’re looking for Matt LeBlanc, the dude next door. In fact, if young reporters in 2005 were to emulate the air of aristocracy that rocketed Peter Jennings to stardom two decades ago, they’d likely be shown the door. Q-score focus groups interpret urbanity as snobbery these days, which may be why Jennings himself lost ratings supremacy to Tom Brokaw when the glamorous 1980s gave way to the naturalistic ’90s. Once the millennium arrived, forget it: His brand of romantic persona had been supplanted by Britney Spears making pig noses and reality-TV contestants eating and vomiting up live worms. …Male news anchors no longer exude savoir-faire… because Hollywood actors no longer exude it. Yesteryear’s debonair hero has passed the torch to today’s cute goofball mensch: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Ashton Kutcher.

That’s from a piece on Salon called “Peter Jennings and the Death of Panache”, by Richard Speer. It’s worth a read, if you don’t mind sitting through a commercial to get to it. (Sorry, Salon’s difficult that way.)

spacer

I Got Dem Cozmic Paranoid Space Shuttle Blues

Discovery at rest.

I’m sure everyone knows by now that space shuttle Discovery landed safely yesterday morning at Edwards AFB in California. I’m pleased about that, of course, and also pleased that the mission went as well as it did, including the unprecedented repairs to the shuttle itself that were performed by astronaut Steve Robinson. Post-landing glow aside, however, this Interested Observer found himself deeply troubled throughout most this flight, and it wasn’t because of the constantly looming specter of another Columbia-style disaster.

spacer

Well, Now, This is Pleasing…

Hey, kids, it’s time for another one of those silly Internet quizzes, because I know how much you all love ’em…

This one determines which Looney Tunes character you are based on the usual bizarre, somewhat personal, and seemingly irrelevant questions. You know the drill. Honestly I don’t know why I fool around with these things, since the results almost always disappoint me. Almost inevitably, I’m told that my personality traits most closely align with the lamest, most uninteresting whatever of the available categories. I’m never Han Solo, according to these things; I’m Threepio, or Uncle Owen, or Red Six. I’m never Captain Kirk, I’m always Transporter Chief Kyle. In the universe of these quizzes, it appears that most people are sidekicks and background characters, not heroes. So when I settled in to take this one, I figured I’d be assessed as Sylvester the Cat, or Elmer Fudd, or one of those no-name, one-off characters like Sylvester’s creme-colored doppelganger, Claude the Cat. So imagine my surprise when I got these results:

spacer

Slowly Going Mad

I’m sure everyone has had the experience of hearing a catchy song and having it continue to play in your head for hours or even days on end. But have you ever had a piece of music spontaneously pop into your mind for no apparent reason? It happens to me sometimes… I’ll just wake up with the mental iPod churning out a song or even just part of a song, and then it stays there all freaking day.

Often when this happens, the accursed audio fragment is the theme from an old TV show, usually one I haven’t heard in years, and usually something that just drips with Velveeta. You know what I mean, the sort of theme that you’re ashamed to admit you ever heard once, let alone remembered well enough to resurrect as a continuous loop.

Case in point: I’ve had the theme from Knight Rider running non-stop through my brain ever since breakfast.

Won’t somebody out there please kill me now? Please? Just do it quickly and humanely…

spacer

Happy Birthday, Anne

As you might have surmised from the subject line above, this is the day my Significant Other first showed her face to the world. And I’ve got to be honest, I am woefully unprepared for its arrival this year. I’ve been in a near-panic for a couple of months as I have tried (and most likely failed) to think of something really good to give her. You see, we’ve been together for a long time, so a lot of the obvious tokens have already been exchanged. We’ve also both reached that age when you pretty much have everything you need, and you pretty much have most of the little objects you want, too. Or at least you’re in a position to just go ahead and buy them for yourself as they come to your attention. So what does that leave one to offer as a gift?

Well, how about a public display of good wishes and affection? It’s the best idea I’ve come up with so far, and it saves me the trouble of actually going shopping, so here goes:

Honey, I hope you have a very happy day and I love you.

What do you think, Loyal Readers, is that enough? Or do I still need to find some kind of tangible gift, too? (Just kidding, folks. Well, mostly kidding. I really am lousy at thinking up good gift ideas…)

spacer
spacer

Big Enos

It may surprise some of my friends and loyal readers to learn that one of my favorite movies is… Smokey and the Bandit.

Yes, I am talking about that 1977 ode to redneck tomfoolery and car-crashes, and yes, I know the movie is horrible in about nine hundred different ways — not least of which is that it can be seen as the direct progenitor of the upcoming Dukes of Hazzard feature — but, general stupidity and misbegotten descendents aside, SATB is one of the few movies guaranteed to bring me up when I’ve had a really rotten day. Burt Reynolds was a charming lead before he became overly fond of his own face, Sally Field was (and still is) a genuine cutie, the jokes are clever enough in an amiable, poke-you-in-the-ribs sort of way, and Jackie Gleason… well, what can I say about Jackie Gleason? The man was a friggin’ genius. Nobody has ever done impotent, spluttering exasperation better than him, and the interplay between Gleason’s Buford T. Justice and his idiotic son Junior never fails to crack me up.

There’s another funny father-and-son team in the movie, too, which most people tend to forget about: Big and Little Enos Burdette, played by Pat McCormick and Paul Williams, respectively. If you’ll recall, these are the two guys who hire the Bandit to make his famous beer-run to Texarkana. Well, I learned today that the “big” half of this team, Pat McCormick, passed away over the weekend at the age of 78.

spacer