Say what you will about the French — and I know people who will say plenty — they are the clever folks who brought us the wonders of the self-cleaning street toilet. And now they’ve come up with another “duh, why haven’t we had this before?” invention: the Maxi-Livres book-vending machine. Five such machines, stocking 25 titles that range from The Odyssey to a French-English dictionary, have been installed in various locations around Paris. According to the linked article, the books cost only $2.45, an incredible bargain these days, especially when you factor in exchange rates. And the thing that makes these machines really cool?

…Maxi-Livre’s distributors were designed to bypass the characteristic vending-machine-drop, which can be punishing for books.

 

“We knew that French bibliophiles would be horrified to see their books falling into a trough like candy or soda,” [Maxi-Livre president Xavier] Chambon said. “So we installed a mechanical arm that grabs the book and delivers it safely.”

While my first choice will always be a quirky, independently-owned bookshop — preferably one with a live-in cat or other animal mascot — I really like this idea. If nothing else, it would solve that nasty problem of what to read on the train-ride home if you finish your book during your lunch break…

Picture yourself curled up in your favorite chair on a cool autumn afternoon, sipping a cup of your favorite hot beverage, lost in the pages of a good novel… and all of a sudden a character steps into the scene who shares your name and maybe even looks like you. Sound like fun?

Well, then, check this out: a dozen or so notable authors including Michael Chabon, Amy Tan, Peter Straub, Lemony Snickett, John Grisham, Stephen King, and Neil Gaiman (from whose blog I got this little tidbit of news) are auctioning off the opportunity for your name to appear in one of their upcoming books. It’s all for charity, with the proceeds going to the First Amendment Project, an advocacy group that defends the freedom of expression. Complete details about this charity auction are available here.

Personally, I’m thinking I’d like to be immortalized by Stephen King. If you know his work, it probably won’t surprise you to hear that he’s offering the most elaborate prize for your auction money; whereas the other authors promise simply to use your name somewhere, King intends to have his way with your fictional doppelganger:

“…Buyer should be aware that CELL is a violent piece of work, which comes complete with zombies set in motion by bad cell phone signals that destroy the human brain. Like cheap whiskey, it’s very nasty and extremely satisfying. Character can be male or female, but a buyer who wants to die must in this case be female. In any case, I’ll require physical description of auction winner, including any nickname (can be made up, I don’t give a rip).”

A buyer who wants to die at the hands of cell-phone-induced zombies… I love it.

The auctions are being held in three separate blocks, with King’s prize up for grabs during the September 8-18 block. You know, my birthday happens to fall within that span of time. If someone really wanted to impress me…