Monthly Archives: August 2005

Idol Zombies!

As if we didn’t have enough to worry about these days, now the damn zombies are attacking the American Idol try-outs! Will the nightmare never end?

The mainstream media are curiously silent on the subject of zombism, but I understand there have been a number of similar attacks this summer. They’re a new fad that’s evolved from the “flash mob” phenomenon of a few years ago, in which a group of people quietly organize using the Internet, cell phones and other electronic means, show up simultaneously at the same public place, do something weird to attract attention, and then leave. While I always thought flash-mobbing sounded pretty pointless, the zombie-mob idea amuses me. The thought of badly made-up pretend-ghouls shambling around in broad daylight is so patently absurd that I imagine only the uptightest people could avoid smiling at the sight of them, and Lord knows we could all use a few smiles after reading the latest news from the Gulf Coast.

Incidentally, the American Idol producers were tipped off that this prank was in the offing, and they were ready for it. To their credit, they didn’t meet the zombie mob with stern-faced security guards and cease-and-desist orders, but rather with a fistful of release forms. That’s right, the new season of Idol is going to feature zombies as well as wanna-be pop-singers. Not that there’s a lot of difference, of course…

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The Idea of a City

I have a list of cities that are special to me. They’re not places I’ve actually been to — that’s an entirely different list. Rather, these are places I’d like to go to. But that makes it sound like this list is just a roster of possible vacation spots, and it’s more than that. The cities on this list are places that occupy large tracts of my imagination and which exert a pull on my spirit that is somtimes difficult to explain. I associate them with works of literature I’ve enjoyed, or movies, or ideals. They represent things to me, and I feel like I know them without ever having actually set foot on their streets.

One of these places is New Orleans, the legendary city of Mardi Gras and the Delta blues, of Tennessee Williams and The Vampire Lestat. Many times I’ve imagined myself strolling through the French quarter to the sound of a mournful sax drifting down from an iron-framed balcony, or touring the grand old mansions and mossy graveyards, or breakfasting on strong coffee and beignets and supping on spicy foods that, like a short-lived affair based entirely on lust, I’ll enjoy at the moment and regret afterwards. Yeah, I know they’re cliches and that there’s a lot more to a city than postcard slogans and imagery cadged from lush gothic novels. But that imagery is much of the reason why I find New Orleans compelling; my sense of the place, my desire to see it, stems from overheated sources. I guess it’s fair to say I’m in love with the idea of cities like New Orleans, rather than the actual places themselves.

Either way, I hope we’ll be left with more than just an idea of New Orleans by the time Hurricane Katrina blows herself out. The last I saw on CNN.com, the protective levees were failing and parts of the city were under six feet of water.

My hopes are with those who couldn’t or didn’t evacuate in time.

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More on the JWST

For any who be interested, here’s another article about the James Webb Space Telescope. This one is a little more generalized and “big picture” than the one I linked to yesterday…

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This Year’s Mindset List

Boy, this is just frightening. And depressing. Seems Beloit College has released its annual “mindset list” for students entering college this fall (Class of 2009). The ostensible purpose of this list is to gently remind college faculty that the touchstones they take for granted may not mean anything to this new generation.

The practical effect, however, is to make we who are fast approaching middle-age feel impossibly out-of-touch. If the items on this list won’t do it for you, this little factoid will: the kids who comprise the Class of ’09 were mostly born in 1987… the year I myself entered college. Oy.

Here’s the list, for those who might want to know where this year’s crop of freshmen is coming from:

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Coming Soon: The Next-Generation Space Telescope

My entry awhile back on the recent space shuttle mission triggered a comment-section discussion between myself and my friend Robert about, among other things, plans for a new space telescope to replace the aging Hubble. Well, Robert, just for you, I’m linking to this article about that new telescope, which has just reached a big manufacturing milestone related to its primary mirror. Fantabulous factoids about said mirror and the telescope to which it belongs follow:

The [James] Webb [Space] Telescope features a 6.5-meter (20 feet) aperture primary mirror comprised of 18 beryllium segments and will be the largest deployable telescope ever launched. …JWST will peer into the infrared at great distances to search for answers to astronomers’ fundamental questions about the birth and evolution of galaxies, the size and shape of the universe and the mysterious life cycle of matter. The space-based observatory will reside in an orbit 940,000 miles from Earth at the L2 Lagrange point.

The Lagrange points, for the non-geeky among us, are places in space where an object will be stationary relative to both the Earth and the Moon, rather than continuously changing position like ordinary satellites.

This has been another interesting but essentially useless exercise in trivia, courtesy of Simple Tricks and Nonsense. You may now return to your regularly scheduled Web surfing.

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Modern Jewish Girls in Sandy, Utah?

In case you were wondering, you can indeed find my friend Ruthie’s book, The Modern Jewish Girl’s Guide to Guilt, here in the Salt Lake area. Anne and I went shopping last night at a local Barnes and Noble store and located it with no trouble at all. There were, in fact, two copies available. And we weren’t even at the big store downtown. We were out in stiflingly dull, virtually monoethnic, suburban Sandy. The book was located in the Judaism section, which is next to the Bibles and around the corner from the LDS stuff.

So who would have thought there was a Judaism section at the Sandy B&N? I was stunned…

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Brock Peters

All the standard obituaries for Brock Peters, the imposing actor who died yesterday at the age of 78, are emphasizing his role as Tom Robinson in the classic film To Kill a Mockingbird. But for me, he’ll always be the voice of Darth Vader.

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Space Stuff

There are some interesting tidbits over at Space.com today that probably won’t make it onto the evening news, so I thought I’d provide a valuable public service and bring them to the attention of my three loyal readers.

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Klingon Fairy Tales

The off-beat Web site of off-beat publisher McSweeney’s — which produces anthologies of short fiction with titles like Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Some Other Things — today posts up a very funny list of Klingon fairy tales, i.e., familiar fairy-tale titles given a perverse twist. I don’t think you have to be a Trek fan to enjoy these, so long as you understand the basic characterization of Klingons. (Hint: their entire culture is based on combat and personal honor. And personal honor that is obtained through combat. And combat over matters of personal honor. And… well, you get the idea.)

Here are my favorites:

“Snow White and the Six Dwarves She Killed With Her Bare Hands and the Seventh Dwarf She Let Get Away as a Warning to Others”

 

“The Three Little Pigs Build an Improvised Explosive Device and Deal With That Damned Wolf Once and for All”

 

“Old Mother Hubbard, Lacking the Means to Support Herself With Honor, Sets Her Disruptor on Self-Destruct and Waits for the Inevitable”

Go check out the rest… Qapla’!

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Ruthie Gets Published!

My friend Ruth Ellenson has just emailed me with some very exciting news: her first book hits the stands today! (How ironic, in light of the previous entry‘s gloomy assessment of modern American reading habits, but this isn’t the time for pessimism…)

Yes, it’s true, I happen to know a published author. (Imagine me gripping my lapels and looking smug as I say that.) Actually, she was the editor of this volume rather than the author, since it’s a collection of essays, but hey, it’s still her name on the cover, right? Close enough to famous for my money. Here’s the message she sent me:

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