Monthly Archives: April 2005

Apr142005

Shatner Linkage

I’m probably going to bring down a rain of derision on myself for what I’m about to admit, but given that I’m on record here as defending both the Star Wars prequels and the original Battlestar Galactica, I doubt if I have much credibility left to lose. Therefore I’m going to come right out and say it loud and proud:

I’m a fan of William Shatner.

That’s right, I’m talking about the same Shatner who played T.J. Hooker in the ’80s, who appeared in the notoriously bad ’70s horror film Kingdom of the Spiders, who recorded an equally notoriously bad album in the late ’60s, and who has endured — even among his most solid fanbase, the Trekkies — a reputation for being an arrogant, clueless, and thoroughly unpleasant man.

None of that makes a bit of difference to me. I like him, or at least I like his work. Always have, since I was a small boy looking up to Shatner’s signature role, Captain James T. Kirk, as my very first imaginary hero and friend. That’s why it tickles me pink to see The Shat working regularly on TV again, and that he’s finally regaining a little respect in his twilight years, thanks to his new-found ability to laugh at himself.

I’d like to recommend a short article about Shatner’s odyssey through the post-Star Trek wilderness and back into the public eye. I think the title says it all: How William Shatner Went From Has-Been to Icon in Seven Self-Aware Steps.
It’s an interesting read, even if you think The Shat’s performances contain more ham than the average processed luncheon meat…

spacer
Apr122005

Heroes Are Sometimes Men You’ve Never Heard Of

Film preservation is a cause that’s near and dear to my heart, but I suspect very few people are really aware that there’s even a need for such a thing. If average, non-movie-fan-type people think about the subject at all, they probably assume that every movie ever made is already safely tucked away somewhere. But that’s not true. The sad reality is that the physical film prints and negatives that comprise our cinematic history have been treated pretty poorly over the years, and even if they haven’t been abused, they are endangered by their own chemical compositions. There are hundreds of movies made prior to the 1950s that are forever lost to modern eyes because the photographic stock they were printed on has literally crumbled into dust. They’re gone forever, not because they were deliberately destroyed (although that has happened, too) but because of benign neglect. Because no one thought to check on all those reels of film sitting in the warehouses on the backlots, slowly rotting away. Because no one thought they were important.

Continue Reading…

spacer
Apr112005

Trek Poll Results and Musings on TV Finales

Next week’s TV Guide landed in my mailbox this morning and with it came the final results of that poll I mentioned awhile back, the one about various favorite and non-favorite aspects of the Star Trek franchise. As a public service for any of my readers who may care but don’t have their own subscriptions to TVG, I will now post what America — or at least the minority of it that votes in Internet polls — had to say about these oh-so-important issues.

Continue Reading…

spacer
Apr072005

Delorean Cars and Mola Ram: Lost Icons of the ’80s

I’m a couple weeks late in commenting on this, but I wanted to acknowledge the recent death of John DeLorean. DeLorean made a number of important contributions to automotive design, including helping to create the high-powered “muscle car” craze of the 1960s. (The Pontiac GTO was DeLorean’s idea, a groundbreaking combination of a huge engine with a fairly lightweight body. The success of the “Goat” subsequently inspired an entire class of speedy gas-guzzlers that still enjoy near-legendary reputations among car enthusiasts.) However, he will forever be remembered for the unique sports car that bears his name, the Delorean DMC-12.

Continue Reading…

spacer
Apr062005

Lining Up

From the Department of Stuff That’s Really Kinda Lame But Nevertheless Amuses Me Terribly (DSTRKLBNAMT) comes news that hardcore Star Wars fans are already lining up outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre for the May 19th premiere of Revenge of the Sith. They have a website (naturally), a charity connection to help make it worthwhile, and, according to a report on Boing Boing, they are answering the pay phone on the corner. So if you want to talk to a geek with a lot of time on his hands, dial (323) 462-9609.

Continue Reading…

spacer
Apr052005

Coffee in Sugarhouse

This past weekend found me enjoying the springtime weather in Salt Lake’s Sugarhouse area, which, for you out-of-towners, is the closest thing to a Bohemian district we have in these parts. Back when I was a student at the nearby University of Utah, it was a run-down pit: eight or ten square blocks of decaying bungalows, boarded-up storefronts, seedy coffeehouses, and leftover head-shops run by guys who hadn’t gotten the memo about the ’60s being over. It was the place you went if you wanted to have your fortune told or your nose pierced. It was probably also the place you went if you wanted to score some weed, although I personally wouldn’t know about that. That was never my thing.

I loved Sugarhouse back then. I loved the mildly disreputable atmosphere, and the heady smells of patchouli and tobacco and old-building mustiness that wafted from open doors. I loved to shop in the weird little holes-in-the-wall where you could buy a statue of Ganesh or a cheap “pre-owned” paperback of On the Road. And I loved to watch all the exotic people: punks, metalheads, flower children, gypsies, derelicts. To a kid from the white-bread suburban frontier of the straightest city in America, it was deliriously cool.

Continue Reading…

spacer
Apr042005

Shooting the Pope

Remember when some whack-job tried to assasinate Pope John Paul back in ’81? Eddie Murphy commented on that event on his very first album of stand-up comedy, which was recorded just a year later. My friend Kurt Stephensen owned that album. He and I must’ve spun it about a thousand times on his crappy old Yorx record player, laughing ourselves sick in his musty basement bedroom. We believed we were so grown up and sophisticated at the age of fourteen because we were listening to a profane comedian tell jokes about the Pope and President Reagan and a lot of other sacred cows. So to speak.

Well, thanks to the extensive collections of the Bennion Archives (also known as my basement), I’ve managed to come up with my own copy of that album and review the applicable passage. It’s still funny, and not nearly as blasphemous as I used to think. In fact, I suspect that Karol himself would’ve seen the humor in it. So, to brighten your Monday afternoon, here is Eddie Murphy on the subject of shooting the Pope:

“What’s your rationale for shooting the Pope? I guess the guy figured, ‘Hey look, I want to go to Hell and I don’t wanna wait on line with everybody else.’ …You walk up to the door with your ticket, they say, ‘Shot the Pope? You can go right through, man.'”

spacer
Apr042005

The Pope

I am not Catholic, nor even what you’d call religious, but I have to admit that I was moved by the news of Pope John Paul II’s death over the weekend. As a political progressive, I disagreed with many of his teachings, particularly on the subject of contraception. However, the Pope himself — a.k.a. Karol Wojtlya — always struck me as genuinely decent and kind-hearted man, and the world always suffers when we lose one of those.

Rest in peace, Karol. You deserve it.

spacer
Apr012005

Remarks on the Schiavo Mess

Up to now, I haven’t wanted to even mention the words “Terri Schiavo” on this site, for a number of reasons.
First, because this story has received so much attention in both the regular media and the blogosphere, I suspected that most of my readers were sick of hearing about it and were coming to Simple Tricks in search of something a little more frivolous. (One of my three loyal readers essentially said as much in a recent comment.)

Secondly, my own views on this matter have been shaped by deeply personal experiences with death, lingering illness and quality-of-life issues, and I didn’t see how I could comment on Schiavo without dredging up a bunch of stuff that I frankly don’t want to share with the whole InterWeb. Let’s just say that my opinion is a lot less hypothetical or philosophical than many of those you’ve been reading.

Finally, this situation has been the sort of hot-button issue that is sure to spark a fight, regardless of how reasonable you may think your own position. I haven’t had the stomach to argue about it, in large part because of Reason #2 above.
But now that the poor woman has moved on to whatever awaits her, I would like to make a few remarks. I hope this isn’t a mistake on my part. Let me be absolutely clear that I am not looking for a fight. I just want to say some things that have occurred to me over the past few weeks. If you’re sick to death of this subject or can’t discuss it without getting all huffy, then I invite you to skip this entry and come back another time.

Continue Reading…

spacer