Monthly Archives: February 2005

Amazing Race Wrap-up

The sixth running of The Amazing Race sputtered to an utterly disappointing conclusion Tuesday night. I don’t know if the concept is starting to wear thin or if this season simply had a less-than-optimal mix of contestants, but it just never caught fire the way the previous Race did. The last one, The Amazing Race 5, was great drama in the end, coming down to Chip and Kim, a lower-middle-class married couple who were filled with wonder at the stunning locations they were seeing, and Colin and Christie, arrogant beautiful people who acted as if they were owed a victory. Chip and Kim beat them, proving that there is justice in this universe at least once in awhile.

Unfortunately, the winners of The Amazing Race 6 have a lot more in common with Colin and Christie than Chip and Kim. But then I wasn’t thrilled with any of the finalists this time around. All of the teams I really liked were cut early on.

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Ossie Davis

Mr. Jordan has been busy lately — the latest person to wander into his presence is Ossie Davis, a wonderful stage-and-screen actor and all-round impressive human being who died last week at the age of 87.

I can’t remember for sure when I first became aware of Mr. Davis — he worked so steadily throughout his long life that it seems like he’s just always been there, somewhere — but I think I connected his name to his face when he co-starred in a short-lived TV series called B.L. Stryker. Stryker was a would-be comeback vehicle for Burt Reynolds, a rather unremarkable detective series in the Magnum/Rockford Files mode. It didn’t go anywhere, obviously, but it did lead to a longer-term job for both Ossie and Burt, the amiable sitcom Evening Shade, which I remember watching pretty regularly in the early ’90s (although I’ll be damned if I can remember much of what it was about).

The thing I liked about Ossie Davis was that he always seemed to radiate warmth and dignity, no matter how minor or ridiculous the project. Case in point is one of his final films, Bubba-Ho-Tep, a bizarre cross-breeding of horror, comedy and social commentary in which Davis played a character who claimed he was John F. Kennedy, despite the fact that he was obviously still alive. And black. When questioned on these points by his fellow retirement-home inhabitant, Elvis Presley (who also is still alive, by the way, at least in this filmic universe), “Jack” explains that the assasination was faked and the CIA dyed him black before dumping him in the worst, most anonymous old-folks’ home in Texas. Pretty silly stuff — and this is even before the ancient Egyptian mummy shows up and begins to feed on the souls of the old folks! — but Davis plays Jack as, well, presidential. It’s a wonderful performance in a movie that many actors wouldn’t have taken at all seriously. I think that says all you need to know about the sort of man Davis was… however, if you would like to know more about the remarkable life of a remarkable man, check out Roger Ebert’s fine eulogy.

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Historical Footnote: Max Schmeling

The other night I caught part of a fascinating PBS documentary about a boxing match that took place in 1938 between the American heavyweight Joe Louis and a German named Max Schmeling. Now, I normally have about as much interest in boxing as I do in watching dust collect on the window ledges, but this particular bout represented much more than a mere sporting event. It was a battle of ideas and symbolism in which the racist philosophies of Hitler’s Third Reich (symbolized by Schmeling) confronted the reality of the so-called lesser races (Louis was black).

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Double Secret Probation!

The actor John Vernon has has died at the age of 72. You may not recognize the name, but you’ll know the face as soon as you click that link. As all the obituaries are noting, he had a long film career and appeared in some very well-known flicks, including Dirty Harry and The Outlaw Josey Wales, so you’ve no doubt caught him in something. According to Mark Evanier, he even did some voice work in cartoons, playing the superheroes Iron-Man and The Sub-Mariner in the ’60s, and more recently performing multiple characters in the Pinky and the Brain shorts. But the role for which he’s going to be remembered, the one mentioned in most of the headlines I’ve seen, is Dean Wormer in Animal House.

One of my favorite comedies, Animal House was a true Hollywood success story, a low-budget mess of a movie with modest ambitions and a largely unknown cast. It became a monster hit largely because of its own audacity, and the willingness of everyone involved to wallow in crassness. (It didn’t hurt that it was genuinely funny.) The film made John Belushi a big-screen star, launched Kevin Bacon‘s career, and established a template that would be used by many successful comedies over the next ten years. There are elements of Animal House in Caddyshack, the Revenge of the Nerds movies, the Police Academy series, and even in Ghostbusters, and none is more recognizable than the killjoy authority figure prototyped by Vernon’s Dean Wormer. The thing that sets Wormer apart from the characters that followed, however, was a streak of genuine sadism — Wormer wasn’t simply a snobby, by-the-book servant of The Establishment. He genuinely enjoyed repressing, bullying, and crushing those who didn’t live up to his image of “the right kind of people.” Vernon played the role to the hilt, using a smug expression and gleefully sarcastic delivery to create a truly hateful human being. Wormer’s come-uppance is one of the most satisfying resolutions ever put on film.

I have no idea what Vernon was like in Real Life — I don’t recall ever seeing him interviewed — but nine times out of ten it seems like the nastiest characters are portrayed by the nicest people. I’d like to imagine that John Vernon prototyped that role as well…

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My Long Trek Finally Ends…

I just heard that Enterprise, the fifth incarnation of the best-known science-fiction series in television history, Star Trek, has been cancelled. I’m not surprised — rumors have been circulating for months that UPN was only stringing the low-rated show along until it hit 100 episodes, which is considered the sweet-spot for syndicated re-run packages. (One hundred eps are optimal for syndication because you can run the show five nights a week without viewers seeing the same ones too frequently. As it is, Enterprise will warp off into the sunset with only 98 episodes, but that’s apparently good enough.)
I’m also not what you would call heartbroken about losing this show. I think I’ve only seen three or four complete episodes and they didn’t move me one way or the other. The sad truth is that I was profoundly indifferent to this version of the Trek concept; I haven’t really considered myself an active Trek fan in years, not since Deep Space Nine wrapped production. But there is one aspect of this story that causes a twinge: after the final episode of Enterprise airs in May, it will be the first time since 1987 that there is no new Star Trek in the offing. No new spin-off series, no big-screen movies. As an idea and a brand name, Star Trek will have finally run its course. The tie-in books and computer games will probably continue for a while, but they’ll eventually peter out as well, and Star Trek will fade into history.

Naturally, the hardcore fanboys are having a hard time accepting the inevitable; there is much speculation on the message boards about a sixth Trek series that will debut after a suitable resting period, five years or maybe even a decade from now. Sorry, guys, but I believe that’s just wishful thinking. It’s over. And you know what? It should be over. It should’ve been over years ago, in my opinion.

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A Few Points of Interest

There’s more Galactica talk on the way, but in the meantime I’d like to direct the attention of my three loyal readers to some cool stuff I’ve run across during my recent surfings.

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Pointless and Wildly Inaccurate Movie Quiz

I don’t know why I bother playing with those Internet quiz-things that purport to reveal one’s tastes and personality traits. The results are never remotely accurate. Case in point: my Movie Recommendation score…

You scored as Mindless Action Flick.

Congratulations! You’ll blow fifteen bucks on the worst script ever as long as there’s lots of guns, explosions, car chases, kung fu, and unrealistically happy endings. Reality means nothing to you! I don’t know you but just lost all respect for you! Check out: Die Hard, Fast and the Furious, Charlie’s Angels (they can fly!), Biker Boyz.

Mindless Action Flick
80%
Sci-Fi/Fantasy
75%
Drama/Suspense
70%
Mindgame
70%
Artistic
65%
Sadistic Humour
40%
Romantic Comedy
35%

[Created with QuizFarm.com]

This thing is wrong on so many levels. I enjoy the occasional action movie, and god knows they’re not usually very intelligent, but I don’t think they’re my primary cinematic interest, and I do discriminate when it comes to which ones I bother with. (Otherwise, I might have actually seen Elektra, which probably would have led to an unfortunate case of self-inflicted eye-gouging.)

In addition, I would not characterize the original Die Hard as “mindless” (a rant for another day), and I consider Charlie’s Angels more of a comedy than an action movie. The thing that really ticked me off, though, was the suggestion that I would find any pleasure whatsoever in Biker Boyz and The Fast and the Furious. I hate those Gen-Y/skate-punk/X-box/extreme sports/ritalin-deprived/crap-editing flicks… but perhaps I’m taking this far too seriously…

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