Oh, the stuff you find when you’re exploring the dank, shadowy corners of the Internet. This morning I was perusing the assorted trivialities at MetaFilter when I came across a link to something called The Gematriculator, a Web site that claims to be able to determine the relative level of good and evil contained in any other Web site or piece of text. This Gematriculator gadget is based on an obscure “science” called (what else) Gematria, which searches for patterns in the text. Numerical values are assigned to certain letters, the occurrence of these letters is tallied up and divided by the holy number seven, there is some kind of nonsense involving the Finnish alphabet… if you’re interested, follow the links above to read more about it. Personally, I didn’t get that far. I probably missed out on the really interesting bits involving ritual mollusk sacrifice and the reading of meerkat entrails. My loss, I’m sure.

The point of all this ciphering is to determine how much of the Spirit of God is present in the text being studied. A high level of the Spirit obviously indicates that a text is Good, whereas a lower level naturally denounces one’s writing as Evil. Just for un, I ran Simple Tricks through the Gematriculator, and here is the result:

To be honest, I was surprised the results were so low. I figured my babblings would be at least 75% Evil. Guess I’ll have to try harder in the future.

Incidentally, please notice that I’ve learned a new trick. I now have the power to include photos and graphics in my blog entries. Cue the maniacal laughter! Soon, I shall take over the world! If only someone would shoot that pesky Mr. Bond for me while I waste time revealing my plans…