I hate to admit it, but I have no idea who Stephen Colbert is. I gather he’s got something to do with that Jon Stewart guy the kids seem to think is so ginchy, but to tell the truth, I really don’t know who he is either. Yes, it’s true — I am terminally unhip. I still get my television the old-fashioned way, by snatching it out of the air with a bent coat-hanger instead of through some kind of fancy-schmancy “cable” or “satellite dish,” whatever the heck they may be. I’m so unhip, in fact, that it’s a wonder my bum doesn’t fall off.

I am, however, cognizant of developing Web trends, and I’ve seen several blogs over the last couple of days posting these Colbertian “On Notice” lists. Eric D. Snider explains that “Stephen Colbert tells things that have been misbehaving that they are ‘On Notice.’ They’re not dead to him yet, but he’s keeping his eye on them, and they should know it. It’s like having two strikes against you.”

In the interest of following the herd, here is my list of things that I think have two strikes against them and need to know it:

Go here if you want to make your own. It’s fun for the whole family!