My morning train these days is always crowded with college kids making their way to the U for their daily classes, giving me an unparalleled opportunity to observe the species up close and personal, in a setting somewhat close to its natural environment. I’m especially fascinated by the gender-based differences apparent in these creatures, which are frequently so glaring that an observer might wonder if the males and females are indeed of the same species at all.

This morning, for example, I spotted a charming example of the female college student, fresh-faced and sleekly attired in a dainty white sweater, designer jeans, and stylish shoes. She carried her books in a clean, new-looking messenger bag and devoted her transit time to study, making notes in the margins of her book with a small, neat hand.

Beside her was a male of the species: smaller and greasier in appearance, clad in ridiculously oversized pants and a t-shirt on which the Hustler magazine logo was printed in colors resembling a dollar bill; beneath it was the phrase, “In Lust We Trust.” He carried his books in a paper sack and spent the ride staring straight ahead into some distant space only he could see.

Makes you wonder what the members of this species see in each other, doesn’t it?