I was probably typical of college English majors in that I imagined my life would be suffused with beautiful prose and urbane conversation. You know, that whole Dead Poets Society kind of vibe. Instead, I spend my days reading stuff like this:
Role-based access control empowers granular access to specific resources within an administrative domain.
I was going to say something sarcastic and pithy here at the end, but I find that words fail me. No doubt they’ve been sucked from my brain by the swirling black hole of aesthetic awfulness that is technical marketing language…
But if you say it in a 60’s era robotic voice, it really sounds quite cool.
hey, I’m a glass is half full kinda guy.
Yes, yes you are. And quite correct. Everything sounds cool if spoken by a classic-style Cylon…
(evil laugh)..welcome to my world Jason, welcome to my world…
Why didn’t you warn me, why?
What does that even mean???
Cheryl, that mess of a sentence is referring to a software feature that lets network administrators set employees up with access only to specific computer resources — network drives, databases, etc. — based on a person’s specific job. Think of it as the “need-to-know” scenario. So for example, lower-level flunkies would only have access to certain files and network locations they need to do their work, while the company’s president would be able to see everything on the network.
It scares me that I know that…
Gee, that’s how my system works!