Okay, the title for this entry is a little over the top, but so is this utterly insane illustration I ran across over at Boing Boing:
I know, I don’t quite get it either… why would Batman be fighting a great white shark with a lightsaber, of all things? Who the hell knows… or cares? It’s Batman. Fighting a shark. With a lightsaber! It’s self-evident!
And on that note, I’m heading out in search of corned beef and Guinness… Happy St. Pat’s Day!
Batman with a lightsaber? Come on Jason, it’s a RED lightsaber… do you really think Batman could take down a Sith to get a red lightsaber?
It’s already been added to my library of rotating desktop images. Truly Bat-badass!
Bob, it’s Batman… of course he could take down a Sith! Or possibly… he is a Sith?
Hmmm… Batman as a Sith Lord, Robin as his apprentice/minion….
Darth Robin?
Also, who stabs with a lightsaber? Has anyone in the Star Wars canon ever wielded a lightsaber in this way?? (Watch Jason track one down for me.)
That’s easy, Robert — Darth Maul stabs Qui Gon Jinn in The Phantom Menace. And earlier in the same movie, Qui Gon stabs his saber into the blast door on the Trade Fed ship to melt it. And in Return of the Jedi, Vader attempts to stab Luke in the final showdown in the Death Star throne room — he stabs through the gap between the panels of this control console thing Luke is standing in.
And it’s not considered canon, but in one of the old Marvel comic books from the ’70s, Han Solo memorably gets his hands on a lightsaber and stabs this giant Godzilla type monster.
Stabbing with one of those things isn’t at all unprecedented. 🙂
But to hold the lightsaber in a downward position?
While all of those precedents are correct, Jason, I have never seen a Jedi or a Sith wield a lightsaber like Batman is doing in the image. Even Han Solo opening up a Taun-Taun was more graceful than that.
So Bruce Wayne’s training in that Nepalese monastery didn’t cover lightsabers… and he’s underwater, riding the back of a large, pissed-off, wiggly fish. And the drag from that cape must be considerable.
Ah, hell, I didn’t paint the silly thing!
What’s he doing attacking a fish anyway? It’s not like Bruce can’t afford to buy some damn sushi.
Maybe it’s some supervillain’s overly elaborate attempt to kill him, one of those James Bond-style traps. Rather than simply shooting him and having it done with, the bad guy drops him into a shark tank armed only with an ancient weapon from an entirely different media franchise, then sits back to watch the fun.
Must have been The Riddler, Joker would never be dumb enough to arm Batman with a lightsaber.
Jason, I feel so bad. You’re under the nerdiest shitstorm in the history of Simple Tricks!
No worries, Robert – I can take it!
I’m really not sure how to react to that one….