There have been a couple of memes floating around Facebook recently for which I’ve been repeatedly tagged, so I finally caved to the pressure and did them yesterday. I’m now republishing them here in a somewhat longer and embellished form. Why? Well, what else have I got to do on a Tuesday afternoon?

The first one is called “Firsts” and is somewhat similar to another meme I did a while back. I don’t think there’s too much overlap, though, so let the self-confessional begin!

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
   Well, I only went to one official, formal, rent-a-tux-style prom, for which my date was a young lady named Mary Dykhouse. But if we’re talking about high school dances in general, then my first was a statuesque blonde named Kim McDonald (“statuesque” meaning she stood a good head taller than me; oddly enough, many of my girlfriends have been taller than me – and before you say it, I’m really not that short!).
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
   Nope. I haven’t seen her in about 15 years, and I haven’t been able to find her online anywhere either. (I’ll admit, I do occasionally google her, just out of curiosity. What? Doesn’t everybody do that sort of thing these days? I’m not stalking anyone, honestly…)
3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
   Oh, that one’s long lost in the mists of time. Probably a Budweiser, I’d guess, since that seemed to be the most prevalent alcoholic beverage in the Bennion home as I was growing up.
4. What was your FIRST job?
   Operating changeover-style movie projectors at the old Cameo Theater in Draper, Utah. If you’re not up on your projectionist lingo, that means there were two projectors arranged side-by-side, and both were required to run a feature-length film. See, good old-fashioned non-digital movies are shipped on reels that hold only about 20 minutes of film. Back in the day, you’d load a reel onto each projector and, as the first reel ran down to the end, you’d change over to the opposite projector to run the second reel, then clean the downtimed projector and load the third reel, and so on. Hence, changeovers. A new system became common in the ‘70s that enabled you to splice all those little reels into a large “platter” that could be run through a single machine, and without the constant supervision required by the double-projector system; that’s what enabled the rise of the multiplex. But the Cameo was an old, old theater whose owner didn’t have the resources to upgrade to a platter system. Its projection equipment was decades old, patched together with duct tape and baling wire, and it all required a lot of attention from the operator. I loved it. It was the perfect first job for me, and one of the biggest regrets of my life is that I didn’t haul one of those machines home with me when the place finally went out of business. I remember asking myself at the time why the hell I’d ever want one of those things. Ah, the foolishness of youth…
5. What was your FIRST car?
   A 1970 Ford Thunderbird. I loved that car; wish I still had it.
6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
   Nobody has texted me today. I’m not really down with that whole texting thing, and most everyone I know is aware of this, so they don’t bother unless it’s something important.
7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
   The Girlfriend, naturally.
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
   The name “Ms. Pritchett” comes to mind, although she may have been my kindergarten teacher instead of first grade. Also, I think she was a “Ms.,” but might have been a “Mrs.”
9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
   St. George, Utah, to see a friend of mine who was attending Dixie State College. The plane was a little twin-engine turboprop commuter job, with a capacity of maybe 25 or 30 people, and I was sitting in the very rear of the plane next to a girl who looked like she was going to toss her cookies any second. If that wasn’t exciting enough, the St. George airport is located on top of a mesa on the edge of town, so I imagine landing there is something like coming down on an aircraft carrier: you come in fast and the pilot stands on the brakes to stop you before you roll off the opposite end. Taking off is even more fun…
10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
    My first best friend was a kid named Glen Brown. He moved away before we got out of elementary school, and I haven’t seen or spoken to him since the summer before ninth grade.
11. Where was your FIRST sleepover?
    Probably at my Grandma Colebrook’s house.
12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
    My dad.
13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
    I was the best man for my friend Tim Larson way back in 1987 or ’88. He was the first of my friends to get married, and I frankly thought he was out of his mind. He must’ve had a better idea of what he was doing than I thought, though; he and his wife Terri are still together, and about to send their oldest daughter off to college.
14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
    I hurled the alarm clock across the room with an unpleasant word upon my lips.
15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
    You’ve all heard this one before: Rick Springfield. Halloween night, 1981. The Working Class Dog tour. As you may have guessed if you’ve been hanging around here for any length of time, it made an impression on me.
16. FIRST tattoo?
    I don’t have any. I’m not opposed to them, I’ve just never been able to think of anything I think I’d still want to look at ten years from now.
17. FIRST piercing?
    My left ear, my first and only piercing. I had it for a couple of years. Then it got infected, I took the stud out, and the hole closed over. I occasionally toy with having it done again, but I never seem to get around to it.
18. FIRST foreign country you’ve been to?
    England, when I participated in the International Summer School program at Cambridge University. That was back in 1993, which is hard for to fathom. Doesn’t seem so long ago.
19. FIRST movie you remember seeing in the theater?
    Oddly enough, I can remember seeing The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams with my mom and great-grandma when I was very small. The first movie that made a big impression on me, however, was — can you guess? — Star Wars. (That’s what it was called, back before the “Episode IV” nonsense.)
20. FIRST detention you had?
    I was never in detention. I was a disgustingly straight arrow, even though I liked to dress like a badass.
21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?
    Utah. First and only, unless you count brief visits elsewhere during which I was, in fact, still living.
22. If you had one wish, what would it be?
    To overcome my insecurities.
23. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
    I don’t know… flying, I suppose. But honestly, I can’t think of anything.
24. Who do you think will be the next person to post this?
    Not applicable in this bloggy medium. Unless someone reading this wants to snag it for themselves, which you are of course welcome to do.

And here is the second of the memes — again, it’s similar to ones I’ve done previously, but hopefully not identical — that has gone under the names “Getting to Know Me” and “Getting to Know Each Other.” This one doesn’t inspire quite as much length in my responses, just in case you’re getting fatigued…

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:10 AM
2. How do you like your steak? Medium well. Not bloody, but not burnt either.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
4. What is your favorite TV show? Among current shows, probably Lost or Castle, depending on my mood. But I don’t watch a lot of current TV, to be honest. I like the old stuff…
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? San Francisco. I love that city.
6. What did you have for breakfast? A bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats, Big-Bite size.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? I don’t know… does diner food count as a cuisine?
8. What foods do you dislike? Beets.
9. Favorite place to eat? Hm. Depends on my mood. Ruth’s Diner is always a lovely place to visit. And hey, they have diner food!
10. Favorite dressing? Ranch, of course. It’s the ultimate condiment, suitable for damn near any application.
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? An ’03 Ford Mustang convertible, as my Loyal Readers surely know.
12. What are your favorite clothes? One of my Hawaiian shirts, jeans, and classic Reeboks. Add a leather jacket in the cooler weather.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Antarctica. Seriously. I’m fascinated by the place. Blame John Carpenter.
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Meh, I’ve about decided this half-full/half-empty thing is a false dichotomoy. It is neither full nor empty, it’s simply half a cup.
15. Where would you want to retire? I haven’t given it much thought, actually. Retirement seems so… unlikely.
16. Favorite time of day? Late afternoon/early evening, a.k.a. “the golden hour.”
17. Where were you born? Salt Lake City.
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Women’s beach volleyball. Or women’s gymnastics. Hey, I like to look at girls…
19. Who do you think will not tag you back? I don’t intend to tag anyone, so this is not applicable.
20. Person you expect to tag you back first? Again, N/A
21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Anyone who cares to play along at home.
22. Bird watcher? I don’t carry guidebooks or know Latin names, but I like watching birds in a general sense. Ducks, especially, amuse me. They walk like retired British major-generals who’ve had one too many sherries.
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night.
24. Do you have any pets? Yes. A whole slew of semi-feral barn cats.
25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? No, not at the moment.
26. What did you want to be when you were little? A starship captain.
27. What is your best childhood memory? Hm, that’s a tough one. I actually had a pretty good childhood. The first thing that comes to mind is one Christmas morning when I found my dad, sitting crosslegged in his underwear in front of the fireplace, assembling the Kenner Millenium Falcon playset that I’d asked Santa to bring. He thought fast and told me that Santa had been running behind and asked him to do the final assembly. I bought it, and spent another happy Christmas before the big disillusioning…
28. Are you a cat or dog person? I like them both, but I lean slightly more toward dogs. They seem to think more like humans, while there’s something ineffably alien about a cat.
29. Are you married? No, although The Girlfriend and I have been together so long that we act as if we are.
30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes, otherwise the beep drives me crazy.
31. Been in a car accident? Several. I’m unreasonably proud to say that none were my fault.
32. Any pet peeves? When people write the word “loose” when they mean “lose.” And don’t even get me started on what people do (and don’t do) with apostrophes…
33. Favorite pizza toppings? Pretty much any of them, short of anchovies. Bleah… like fish-flavored chunks of rock salt.
34. Favorite flower? I quite like roses.
35. Favorite ice cream? Homemade strawberry.
36. Favorite fast-food restaurant? Astro Burger. It’s a local Utah chain, if you don’t know of it. FYI, it was mentioned in that recent New York Times article about the glories of the pastrami burger. Mmm. Astro pastrami burger… I think I know what I want for dinner…
37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? None. Who fails the driver’s test?
38. From whom did you get your last email? My buddy Mike Gillilan (this has changed since I did this meme on Facebook; have to stay up to date, you know!)
39. At which store would you choose to max out your credit card? I wouldn’t max my card, if I could avoid it. I’m kind of a stiff that way.
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Yes, but I’d probably better not discuss it in public.
41. Like your job? Sure. It’s not a passion or anything, but it’s fine.
42. Broccoli? Yeah, it’s fine.
43. What was your favorite vacation? Last year’s San Francisco trip was awesome. Of course, so was my road trip last spring. And when I went to Germany in ’03. Ah, heck, I’ll just say “the last one” and call it good.
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? The Girlfriend.
45. What are you listening to right now? The low murmur of a half-dozen cubicle conversations.
46. What is your favorite color? Red.
47. How many tattoos do you have? None. Again, I’ve got no problem with them, I just can’t think of one I’d actually want.
48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? None. Because I’m contrary that way.
49. Coffee drinker? Oh my, yes!
50. What time did you finish this quiz? 5:03 PM MST