Over the past several weeks, several people I care about have experienced problems that have the potential to change their lives. I won’t embarrass anyone by naming names, and I won’t elaborate on their situations other than to say that they range the gamut of all the scary grown-up shit we never stopped to consider when we were teenagers aching to become adults: medical, psychological, marital.

I want very badly to help these people, to say something useful, but what do you say to a friend who is scared and hurting and feeling like they’ve just realized their entire life is constructed on a pile of sand that is beginning to shift out from under them?
Once, a long time ago, I fancied myself a great philosopher who had it all figured out; in truth, I was just a glib SOB who had a knack for reciting applicable lines of movie dialog. But as I grow older, I’m gradually learning that the dialog doesn’t always fit. Sometimes there’s just not anything to say. And sometimes maybe you don’t have to say anything. Even when you desperately want to.

Sometimes you just have to listen, and let your friends know you’re there. They may not ask for anything, they may not know what to ask for. But that’s okay. It’s the being-there part that matters.

Think about that as you enjoy the long holiday weekend. I know I will.